How many times.. I told you so … I told you so

Hi Dick,
Usually, well almost always you come to this site with advice and information for others, it is nice to see you come to the site for you!! Anyway, you have never let on what a great business man you ARE. Wow!! Glad you let us in on your personal life. So…about the matter at hand, well, coming from a stay at home mom I don’t know how reliable it will be. But… is it possible since they know your potential, would they be willing to pay you the money you need to get their books in order AND allow you to hire an assistant to do work that might not necessarily need your full attention? Do you think things are able to get back to where you left them, or is the challenge bigger with the current state of the economy and people not having as much disposable income? Are you at a golfing community that caters to a certain client base that is not affected by the economy, or do they have all types of clients? I only ask because I wonder if all of your hard work and toll on your body might not have the same results if in fact the economy is a key factor. I would hate to see you struggle physically AND beat yourself up if the same results you had before cannot be attained because of no fault of your own. You seem like you would probably have the same kind of stress if you did not try to do the job as you would have if you are doing the job. I sensed a rejuvination of sorts in your post when you talked about your job, minus the stress of course, but it did seem to make you happy, or included, I can’t seem to find the word. So..there is my mom advice, take it for what it is worth. I know you will come up with the decision that works for you!
Dawn

Oh yes, I forgot to remind you to re-read the powerful line you have at the bottom of your posts. I often think about your words in choices I make.
Dawn Kevies mom

It is nice to see you seeking help for once! I know that if I had a chance to do my old job in any capacity, I would do it in a heartbeat. Having said that, today is the first day that I have actually felt somewhat “normal” since I can remember. When I feel like this, I feel like I can conquer the world! I can’t believe that others feel like this every day & don’t try to do more. For me it is all about the fatigue, & there is no way I can fight it & try to teach math to anyone. Do you suffer from the debilitating fatigue? I remember your physical issues, but don’t remember if you have that issue as well.

It sounds like this is something that you really want to do, & it might bolster how you feel about yourself very much & give you a sense of accomplishment. But 60 hours, are you kidding me? Even a healthy person in their 20s would stuggle with that one. I think, if you could do this for a short time period in say 40 hr. a week, then go for it. I wouldn’t worry too much about the facial numbness, those things tend to come & go. If you truly are starting to FEEL a lot worse, then maybe it won’t be possible. Good luck, Dick…

Is it possible for you to work 1 day then take the next off?

This might help so you don’t over do it and cause yourself more pain.

Just a suggestion.

Rhonda from Canada

I agree with Dawn…you need an assistant. You need someone you can tell “x,y & z need to be done” and that person needs to be able to do it. You may be able to help out with somethings but it sounds like you need to be the brains behind the operation.

It sounds like this place values you & I’m sure they would be willing to allow you to have an assistant. Have you told them about your CIDP?

Kelly

I feel for you Dick. I had a similar situation when I had my major attack – I was out for about 3 months in the hospital and recovering and then my boss resigned so that left nobody to run our department. My guilt and need to continue to support my team drove me back to work before I was even close to ready. The sheer quantity of things that needed to be done for both my job that hadn’t been touched in 3 months and my boss’s job that had been untouched for a week was daunting. I tackled it because I felt the team deserved it and because I was raised to do a job right and not leave it half undone for somebody else. Within a few short 3 hour days I was numb from head to toe again and unable to even get out of bed to think about working. The guilt drove me insane lying there in bed thinking of everything not getting done. But you know what Dick? It did eventually get done -they did figure out how to take care of themselves without me there to hold their hands and things got back on track before I got out of bed and could consider working again. While I think it was good for my ego to go back to work early and hear how much everybody needed me – it wasn’t good for me in the long run, nor for them because it just delayed them getting around to hiring a replacement for me. In your case it seems to me you have three choices:

1) continue to slog it out alone and cause repeated attacks and relapses
2) hire an assistant, restructure responsibilities and delegate
3) abandon ship and focus on your recovery

Which one seems more appealing to you? 😉

Jules

P.S. Perhaps one of those people who needs repositioning or retraining could be your part-time assistant? just a thought but somebody might actually benefit from the training and experience the position would provide who might otherwise be shunted off to drive gophers off the back 9… :p

Dick,

Thanks for sharing. (Galatians 6:10). Sorry to hear about your club. Golf is/was a passion for me (7 handicapper). (I have a new driver I bought in November that I haven’t been able to get out and hit yet due to weather and I’m itching to get out to the range).

In January 2008 I was in a very stressful high level job in a major oil company 305 people working for me and I had direction to downsize the organization to 195. I believe stress was a factor in my CIDP. 14 months later I have disability, soaring medical bills and I’m being laid off!

The bottom line is 4 months after I’m laid off, I now have an incomparibly less stressful engineering job, working for and with people I enjoy very much and although I’m battling CIDP with PE, I’m healing from the disability. (God is so good.)

Stress affects us horribly; especially us CIDP’ers. There are less stressful jobs out there; you don’t have to do this job. You are very passionate towards this club and I can see the desire you have to be involved in pulling it back from the brink of death personally. But only you can decide if it is worth the toll it will take upon you. Hiring an assistant is a good idea, but can cause additional work and stress.

I know it’s a tough decision. I pray that God will direct you and that you’ll be at peace with your decision.

Gary

[QUOTE=Dawn Kevies mom]Oh yes, I forgot to remind you to re-read the powerful line you have at the bottom of your posts. I often think about your words in choices I make.
Dawn Kevies mom[/QUOTE]

[I]Yes, Dick, your sign off words have resonated in and around my brain as well. Very wise words. Do what your body tells you you can do. You offer such great sensible advice to folks. Now’s the time to listen to your own inner voice.[/I]

Dick,

I read your posts and the posts of others. I have to agree that having an assistant to delegate to and who could learn from you while following through on tasks would be benefical to you, your employee, and the club and it’s members. If there is a person in house who is ready for this job, all the better.

Another though…IT’S ONLY a GOLF CLUB! Memebers come there on a voluntary basis. While golf is health promoting, it is not a necessary for anyone. It’s a luxury. Your health is NOT a luxury! Compromising your health for your loyality to other’s luxury just doesn’t meassure up.

If you are working for the money and willing to sacrifice your health for a higher goal, go for it! But how about trying on the idea of working in a less stressful manner to support your wellness as well as your wallet?

I will keep you in prayer that your find a healthy solution to your situation.

Erin

Hi Dick!
Wow! The Club has lessons to learn the hard way. Maybe the new guy will do better and maybe not. You left the Club in tip-top shape and on very good terms, because it was the right move for you and not a life-time committment.

A Mom does her very best to sacrifice and raise her kids and has to let them go, grow up on their own and make their own mistakes. If the kids screw up, should Mom feel guilty?

The Name of the Game is your Health, Dick. Your priority is to fix you and then you can fix anything especially with your business acumen and other talents.

At this site we all appreciate your keen mind and the helpful and caring responses from you.

You will play your cards with all you’ve got and I’m expecting the very best to happen!

BTW while you are drawing that Wild Card I am going to be saying special prayers and double blessings to be sent your way!

[I]Dick, Erin said: “Another thought…IT’S ONLY a GOLF CLUB! Memebers come there on a voluntary basis. While golf is health promoting, it is not a necessary for anyone. It’s a luxury. Your health is NOT a luxury!”

Two stories … mine, accountant/business manager for a medical clinic. Many years. Two surgeries requiring 8 weeks convalescence at home. How long did I stay away? 2 weeks. Once I left there was a replacement with totally inadequate skills. Replacement #2 was very adequate. The melluvahess they got into with replacement #1 did two things … it reminded them of the very good job I’d done for years and it alerted them to being much more cautious when looking for replacement #2.

Now … my mother was the general manager of a private golf club/country club in the midwest. GM, accountant, membership mgr, hiring/firing, planning “do.s”, dealing with alcoholic chefs … you name the job, it was hers. Much like yours, I suspect. She retired. Replacement #1 was totally inadequate. Replacement #2 was very adequate.

The medical clinic is up-and-running. Old docs retire, new docs come in, it didn’t “die” because I left. The country club didn’t “die” because my mother retired.

No one … NO ONE … is indispensable, no matter how much we would like to think we are. [/I]

I see a local golf course up here is posting for a similiar position…

I was curious as to the salary they offer down in that part of the world?

thanks deano