How many times.. I told you so … I told you so
AnonymousJanuary 17, 2010 at 9:07 pm
I am really a tornado of emotions right now.
I have started back working. My intention is part-time. I really and truly believe that it will end up being part time, probably 18 to 24 hours per week. There are a couple of problems, well one big problem, me and my desire to make things right.
Back in 2001 I left this golf club for greener pastures. Times were good, I left them with a great balance sheet, good membership, strong financials, all new equipment, and a long range plan that should have kept them in the black for years to come. I had a well trained staff and things were running very smoothly. I left because I needed more money, and my skill set allowed me to earn it. The club I was at was really at the top end of what they could afford to pay me, and I didn’t want to burden them with an unsustainable salary. I worked hard there, bringing the club from hard times to being really successful.
The fellow they hired to replace me was not as successful. After eight years, the membership was gutted, the savings were depleted and funds were borrowed, rounds were lost, and the club is on the brink of financial ruin. They did not renew the guy’s contract and asked me to “interim” until they could hire a new guy. I am on the selection committee, so I know they will hire a new guy.
The problem is how much work I am doing and what it is doing to me. I have posted about facial numbness, and that is where I am experiencing these new challenges. The numbness comes and then goes, and then comes back, always in conjunction with an increase in work hours, stress, and job related activity.
I care intensely about the club and the members. I feel badly for them, they did not deserve the situation they are in, well in a way I guess they should have canned the guy sooner. But In either event, I feel bad about what happened and how it happened.
These members see me now as I was when I left (pre-CIDP). They still expect me to fix all of their problems and make it all better. And you know what, I can. It is just my body that cannot do the job. It is so easy to look and see what needs to be done, in what order, and to what degree. Who needs to go and who needs to stay. Who needs retraining and who needs repositioning. Where we need to market, and how we need to do it.
If my body could stand it, I could fix it in about 6 months. But, 6 months of 60 hours a week would literally kill me. 3 weeks of 40 started this process I am in now and can’t get out of.
I am frustrated that I know how to fix it, but cannot. I am annoyed that these members have had to suffer needlessly, it hurts me personally that all of my earlier work has been wiped out. My health suffers because I want so badly to fix this. and cannot.
Where is the solution, I don’t know. How does this apply to CIDP? If you do too much you will pay the price, over and over and over and over….
January 17, 2010 at 10:33 pm
Usually, well almost always you come to this site with advice and information for others, it is nice to see you come to the site for you!! Anyway, you have never let on what a great business man you ARE. Wow!! Glad you let us in on your personal life. So…about the matter at hand, well, coming from a stay at home mom I don’t know how reliable it will be. But… is it possible since they know your potential, would they be willing to pay you the money you need to get their books in order AND allow you to hire an assistant to do work that might not necessarily need your full attention? Do you think things are able to get back to where you left them, or is the challenge bigger with the current state of the economy and people not having as much disposable income? Are you at a golfing community that caters to a certain client base that is not affected by the economy, or do they have all types of clients? I only ask because I wonder if all of your hard work and toll on your body might not have the same results if in fact the economy is a key factor. I would hate to see you struggle physically AND beat yourself up if the same results you had before cannot be attained because of no fault of your own. You seem like you would probably have the same kind of stress if you did not try to do the job as you would have if you are doing the job. I sensed a rejuvination of sorts in your post when you talked about your job, minus the stress of course, but it did seem to make you happy, or included, I can’t seem to find the word. So..there is my mom advice, take it for what it is worth. I know you will come up with the decision that works for you!
January 17, 2010 at 10:34 pm
Oh yes, I forgot to remind you to re-read the powerful line you have at the bottom of your posts. I often think about your words in choices I make.
Dawn Kevies mom
AnonymousJanuary 17, 2010 at 11:52 pm
It is nice to see you seeking help for once! I know that if I had a chance to do my old job in any capacity, I would do it in a heartbeat. Having said that, today is the first day that I have actually felt somewhat “normal” since I can remember. When I feel like this, I feel like I can conquer the world! I can’t believe that others feel like this every day & don’t try to do more. For me it is all about the fatigue, & there is no way I can fight it & try to teach math to anyone. Do you suffer from the debilitating fatigue? I remember your physical issues, but don’t remember if you have that issue as well.
It sounds like this is something that you really want to do, & it might bolster how you feel about yourself very much & give you a sense of accomplishment. But 60 hours, are you kidding me? Even a healthy person in their 20s would stuggle with that one. I think, if you could do this for a short time period in say 40 hr. a week, then go for it. I wouldn’t worry too much about the facial numbness, those things tend to come & go. If you truly are starting to FEEL a lot worse, then maybe it won’t be possible. Good luck, Dick…
AnonymousJanuary 18, 2010 at 2:02 am
I agree with Dawn…you need an assistant. You need someone you can tell “x,y & z need to be done” and that person needs to be able to do it. You may be able to help out with somethings but it sounds like you need to be the brains behind the operation.
It sounds like this place values you & I’m sure they would be willing to allow you to have an assistant. Have you told them about your CIDP?
AnonymousJanuary 18, 2010 at 5:57 am
I feel for you Dick. I had a similar situation when I had my major attack – I was out for about 3 months in the hospital and recovering and then my boss resigned so that left nobody to run our department. My guilt and need to continue to support my team drove me back to work before I was even close to ready. The sheer quantity of things that needed to be done for both my job that hadn’t been touched in 3 months and my boss’s job that had been untouched for a week was daunting. I tackled it because I felt the team deserved it and because I was raised to do a job right and not leave it half undone for somebody else. Within a few short 3 hour days I was numb from head to toe again and unable to even get out of bed to think about working. The guilt drove me insane lying there in bed thinking of everything not getting done. But you know what Dick? It did eventually get done -they did figure out how to take care of themselves without me there to hold their hands and things got back on track before I got out of bed and could consider working again. While I think it was good for my ego to go back to work early and hear how much everybody needed me – it wasn’t good for me in the long run, nor for them because it just delayed them getting around to hiring a replacement for me. In your case it seems to me you have three choices:
1) continue to slog it out alone and cause repeated attacks and relapses
2) hire an assistant, restructure responsibilities and delegate
3) abandon ship and focus on your recovery
Which one seems more appealing to you? 😉
AnonymousJanuary 18, 2010 at 6:03 am
P.S. Perhaps one of those people who needs repositioning or retraining could be your part-time assistant? just a thought but somebody might actually benefit from the training and experience the position would provide who might otherwise be shunted off to drive gophers off the back 9… :p
January 18, 2010 at 7:21 am
Thanks for sharing. (Galatians 6:10). Sorry to hear about your club. Golf is/was a passion for me (7 handicapper). (I have a new driver I bought in November that I haven’t been able to get out and hit yet due to weather and I’m itching to get out to the range).
In January 2008 I was in a very stressful high level job in a major oil company 305 people working for me and I had direction to downsize the organization to 195. I believe stress was a factor in my CIDP. 14 months later I have disability, soaring medical bills and I’m being laid off!
The bottom line is 4 months after I’m laid off, I now have an incomparibly less stressful engineering job, working for and with people I enjoy very much and although I’m battling CIDP with PE, I’m healing from the disability. (God is so good.)
Stress affects us horribly; especially us CIDP’ers. There are less stressful jobs out there; you don’t have to do this job. You are very passionate towards this club and I can see the desire you have to be involved in pulling it back from the brink of death personally. But only you can decide if it is worth the toll it will take upon you. Hiring an assistant is a good idea, but can cause additional work and stress.
I know it’s a tough decision. I pray that God will direct you and that you’ll be at peace with your decision.
AnonymousJanuary 18, 2010 at 10:41 am
[QUOTE=Dawn Kevies mom]Oh yes, I forgot to remind you to re-read the powerful line you have at the bottom of your posts. I often think about your words in choices I make.
Dawn Kevies mom[/QUOTE]
[I]Yes, Dick, your sign off words have resonated in and around my brain as well. Very wise words. Do what your body tells you you can do. You offer such great sensible advice to folks. Now’s the time to listen to your own inner voice.[/I]
AnonymousJanuary 18, 2010 at 10:56 am
I read your posts and the posts of others. I have to agree that having an assistant to delegate to and who could learn from you while following through on tasks would be benefical to you, your employee, and the club and it’s members. If there is a person in house who is ready for this job, all the better.
Another though…IT’S ONLY a GOLF CLUB! Memebers come there on a voluntary basis. While golf is health promoting, it is not a necessary for anyone. It’s a luxury. Your health is NOT a luxury! Compromising your health for your loyality to other’s luxury just doesn’t meassure up.
If you are working for the money and willing to sacrifice your health for a higher goal, go for it! But how about trying on the idea of working in a less stressful manner to support your wellness as well as your wallet?
I will keep you in prayer that your find a healthy solution to your situation.
January 18, 2010 at 5:26 pm
Wow! The Club has lessons to learn the hard way. Maybe the new guy will do better and maybe not. You left the Club in tip-top shape and on very good terms, because it was the right move for you and not a life-time committment.
A Mom does her very best to sacrifice and raise her kids and has to let them go, grow up on their own and make their own mistakes. If the kids screw up, should Mom feel guilty?
The Name of the Game is your Health, Dick. Your priority is to fix you and then you can fix anything especially with your business acumen and other talents.
At this site we all appreciate your keen mind and the helpful and caring responses from you.
You will play your cards with all you’ve got and I’m expecting the very best to happen!
BTW while you are drawing that Wild Card I am going to be saying special prayers and double blessings to be sent your way!
AnonymousJanuary 19, 2010 at 1:41 am
Well, We interview two candidates next Tuesday for the Head Professional Position. Hopefully we can fill that position and get the fellow working by March 1. This will take the daily work off me.
My biggest stress is the Catch 22. I know what to do, but physically cannot do it. I think the best I can hope for is to make a good hire, and then train the new guy to complete the program given to him. My job would then be bookkeeper at about 20 hours a week. TYping newsletters, posting dues, keeping up with payables, general ledger and stuff like that. I can do long range planning and prepare the club for things down the road. that would all be helpful.
Dawn, Yes, I will be successful. I will not be wasting my efforts. The centerpiece of the turnaround will be a “hallmark” junior program. The best in this part of the State. Currently there is not a junior program of any stature nearby. Because the economy is so challenged Dad’s are giving up their hobbies. But If the Kid’s develop an interest in Golf, the Mom’s bring the Kid’s and then the Dad’s come along as well. There are lot’s of members who will donate clubs and such to help out the kids. it will all work.
Once again, it only takes work, time, and my body…..
AnonymousJanuary 19, 2010 at 12:01 pm
[I]Dick, Erin said: “Another thought…IT’S ONLY a GOLF CLUB! Memebers come there on a voluntary basis. While golf is health promoting, it is not a necessary for anyone. It’s a luxury. Your health is NOT a luxury!”
Two stories … mine, accountant/business manager for a medical clinic. Many years. Two surgeries requiring 8 weeks convalescence at home. How long did I stay away? 2 weeks. Once I left there was a replacement with totally inadequate skills. Replacement #2 was very adequate. The melluvahess they got into with replacement #1 did two things … it reminded them of the very good job I’d done for years and it alerted them to being much more cautious when looking for replacement #2.
Now … my mother was the general manager of a private golf club/country club in the midwest. GM, accountant, membership mgr, hiring/firing, planning “do.s”, dealing with alcoholic chefs … you name the job, it was hers. Much like yours, I suspect. She retired. Replacement #1 was totally inadequate. Replacement #2 was very adequate.
The medical clinic is up-and-running. Old docs retire, new docs come in, it didn’t “die” because I left. The country club didn’t “die” because my mother retired.
No one … NO ONE … is indispensable, no matter how much we would like to think we are. [/I]
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