How did get here

He fought the symptoms for 3 weeks untill he finally crawled to my car and we found a Dr who knew what was going on. They admitted him 2 weeks ago Wed. Plasma cleaning is doing nothing. He is not on a vent but legs and arms are gone. Thats not the hard part of all this. Notice there are no lables no titles to who we are to each other because I dont know. We have worked together for 3 years been friends at work for a year. I will admit to a mad crush for the past year but could do nothing about it because of a 2 and a half year divorces drama for him. 2 weeks after the divorce is finished he comes down with GBS. He has no family other than an elderly Mom he cares for. A few close friends but they work full time and have familys. How in the world did I get signed up as care giver. Every night at the hospital. All day long insurance isues and haveing to fill everyone in. All while working myself and trying to keep him working as much as possible to by carting work back and forth to his room. I dont regret helping but we have no base on which to build on or good memories to glaze over when he is grouchy or in pain. Ive now know more about this mans internal workings that I do what he does in his spare time. What the heck am I doing. I feed him and he has never even bought me dinner. Granted he orders me dinner every night on his tray but you konw what I mean. We just dont have the emotional bonds you all do. But if I didnt do this he would be alone and flat on his back. I konw he is happy to see me when I walk in the door and knowing I am helping out another human being is gratitude enough. But am I going to make it through am I going to be able to step up. OH boy Oh boy. Thank you for letting me vent. On the medical side. 4 weeks in and he continues to slide down and they seem out of options. Nothing has made a dent in it. To make matters worse hospital while it is good is tough. He is 6’5 and 275. Not exactly easy to get moved around. Ok enough….by the way my name is Karen