How can I be polite and say "GET AWAY FROM ME IF YOU ARE SICK!"
AnonymousDecember 15, 2008 at 9:07 am
Honestly… I’m struggling with this. I had a great time at the party Saturday night and I hadn’t seen most of these people in six months to a year so I don’t want to hold back when they want to hug me and kiss me on the cheek. BUT!!! BUT BUT BUT – more than half of them were sick with “oh geez, strep is going around, I hope you don’t get it” knowing I can’t afford to get sick and yet breathing in my face anyway. And today both my husband and I have flaming red throats, stuffy noses and are more than a little grouchy. Not to mention my right leg is numb and dragging again and I am completely deaf in my right ear. Argh! Is it just my abnormally high expectations that if you are sick enough to be contagious you don’t go to a party? Am I just THAT out of the loop that it’s acceptable now or did someone slip tequila in my water glass when I wasn’t looking and make me crabbier than usual?
I just don’t know what to do about this – I only go to one or two social events a year and I get sick every time. Do I need to do more to expose myself more? Or enter the room with a can of Lysol in my hand? Lower my expectations? How do other people deal with stuff like this? I want to be able to go out and do stuff but I can’t afford to pay for it by getting sick every time. And I hate being a crab-apple… it ruins my normally cheerful mood. 😮
AnonymousDecember 15, 2008 at 10:52 am
I have decided, against everything that I was taught growing up, to be “rude” and tell people that I don’t want to be by them if they are sick. If they look shocked I explain why. Interestingly people seem to be very accepting of this so far. I won’t let anyone kiss me on the cheek…that is just too close. It is my health and I don’t want to take the risk of relapsing.
If they weren’t accepting of my explanation, I’d just figure “to heck with them” as this is a vital health issue.
I wish people would stay home if they are sick but they don’t. They also send their kids to school sick so the whole class gets infected…sigh. People are so into themselves nowadays that they just don’t think of others and I think that they just need a reminder sometimes.
Interestingly, my daughter (and husband) ALWAYS has 2-3 colds by Christmas. I have been giving my daughter Vit D…and she hasn’t had any colds and I know for sure her friends in class all have colds (they are on their second round). My husband is on his second cold and we just found out he is low Vit D. It is another possible alternative for you vs exposing yourself with unknown consequences.
Besides the vitamin D, I also try to wear gloves a lot so if people force their handshakes on me it isn’t touching my bare skin (which I might have touched my face or nose) and I use Purell a lot…plus wash hands a ton. Whatever the case, I swear I haven’t been this healthy in years.
December 15, 2008 at 11:29 am
Your health comes first. Kevin’s friends moms KNOW I don’t want them over if they are sick, if they show up sick, I make them call their parents. they say, well Kevin gets the germs at school, I say yes, but I don’t have to have your kids coughing up his boogers all over xbox and wi. No more mister nice guy, obviously others don’t care and just want a free babysitter and meal. now in your case, it is a party that you went to, inevitably you are exposed to people with colds. I probably would just use a little respirator mask and wash my hands. If someone was really hacking, the mask would give them a clue to stay away. When my mother-in-law had pneumonia, I made my husband and myself wear a mask so as not to bring it back to Kev. Obviously we can’t walk around the world like that, but if we know we are going into a situation, every man for himself!! Good luck, hope you feel better! Kevie is dragging too!!
Dawn Kevies mom
AnonymousDecember 15, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Julie, I don’t have a good answer for you. Mask is probably the safest but who wants to go to a party like that. My situation is actually more serious since the recent Rituxan treatment eliminated most B-cells. My lymphocyte count is below normal. Recently I told my daughter I didn’t want to come if anyone in the family was sick. She is a doctor and understands very well immunosuppression. So we go there for Thanksgiving and her husband is sick. When I said something her response was: ” Don’t worry, you have enough immune system left to fight it off.” Having the family together for the holiday obviously was more important. She is an ER doc and cracking chests and treating gun shot wounds or trying to save the lives of accident victims probably makes concerns like mine less significant. And my SIL probably doesn’t give a sh**. Thursday night on our trip to Oklahoma we stayed at their house over night. He was still coughing spraying germs all over the place. “Cover your mouth,” she says to him.
In a couple of days my SIL will come here to my MIL house from Houston with her two little boys to spend the holidays. I hope I survive.:eek:
AnonymousDecember 15, 2008 at 12:49 pm
That is awful that you try and go out and have some fun and end up sick!
It takes all our energy just to muster enough strength in the first place to go out and then whammo you get sick. Not fair!
At my house, I have put a sign on the front door asking guests to please use hand sanitizer that is by the coats and boots. For the most part everyone is good about this. I also get the “talk” for people that my teenager and hubby (he is a teacher) will bring home the germs. They might have germs but they also use the hand sanitizer and understand that I am sick enough without cold or flu bugs!
Try to stay warm and cosy and I hope you feel better soon,
AnonymousDecember 15, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Thanks ya’ll, I appreciate the support. I’m trying to take my own advice and looking for cool masks on the internet. They don’t really make them though I did find these
[IMG]http://i398.photobucket.com/albums/pp70/Julie_CIDP/orangutan-mask-illusion.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i398.photobucket.com/albums/pp70/Julie_CIDP/pig-mask-illusion.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i398.photobucket.com/albums/pp70/Julie_CIDP/tiger-mask-illusion.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i398.photobucket.com/albums/pp70/Julie_CIDP/gorilla-mask-illusion.jpg[/IMG]
Naturally I can’t find where they are sold or I’d get one of every type and dress accordingly. (See my next post for the rest of the masks)
Kristin, I hear what you are saying and I may have to get better about that though, like you, it goes against my upbringing. It’s just hard when you don’t see people very often to have the first words out of your mouth be “back off pal, I can hear you hacking from here.” Of course I’d be a BIT nicer about it but you know what I mean.
Norb, I know how frustrating that is and if I was 100% positive nobody I’m talking about was reading this I’d give you several examples of my own. Suffice it to say I understand, been there, done that and will probably end up doing it over and over again.
Dawn, I think it would be easier if it were my child, rather than myself. I am more likely to take chances with myself than I would be with my child which is pretty stupid. I guess I just got too complacent in thinking that the IVIg provided me with some protection. I used to carry hand sanitizer and a surgical mask but honestly unless it’s a costume party I’d rather not wear a mask. Maybe if I drink enough alcohol it will kill the germs? Maybe that was our problem – we didn’t drink? Just kidding, but it’s tempting.
AnonymousDecember 15, 2008 at 1:33 pm
[IMG]http://i398.photobucket.com/albums/pp70/Julie_CIDP/leopard-mask-illusion.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i398.photobucket.com/albums/pp70/Julie_CIDP/funny-surgical-mask-1.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i398.photobucket.com/albums/pp70/Julie_CIDP/funny-surgical-mask-2.jpg[/IMG]
Aren’t her facial expressions great? I found these on a tricks and illusions website, but it’s a blog and I can’t find where they are sold. I will keep looking, if I find it I will repost.
December 15, 2008 at 11:25 pm
Get a patent! I bet everyone would buy them. I think I am going to make some!!!! Julie, if you find out where to order those, let me know!!
Dawn Kevies mom
AnonymousDecember 16, 2008 at 2:53 am
Maybe I’m rude but I just flat tell people that since I am on 2 immune system suppressants that if they are sick I need to stay away from them. So far most everyone has been very understanding and as to the few people that want to take it wrong I just tell them I’m sorry but I just can’t take the chance of getting whatever it is they have.
AnonymousDecember 16, 2008 at 4:43 am
I’ll be rude from now on. I am so sick I’m ready to melt into a puddle. I can barely breathe, my face went numb over night and my legs are wet noodles. I think I’d rather be rude from now on.
As for the masks – they would be fairly easy to make with an inkjet printer and iron on transfer paper. It’s a testament to how sick I am that I didn’t think of that – I’ve got all the materials right here. I think it would have to be a cloth mask though, I’m not sure how the paper ones would hold up to a hot iron. 😮 Ink jet iron on transfers are the greatest thing since pogo sticks. I’ve made custom designed T-shirts, baseball hats, and even imprinted guitar picks, a mask shouldn’t be that much more trouble though I’m no good at sewing.
I’m thinking of all kinds of things from cute stuff like the masks above to warning signs like “If you hack please keep back.” Or something equally stupid. Who wants in on it? :p
Ugh, back to bed.
December 16, 2008 at 9:21 am
There has to be a frog one!! Something to do with croak!!! I am glad you are toughing up for next time. I have learned that others really don’t care about anyone but themselves, so why shouldn’t we. I must tell you my life has been alot less complicated and stressfull.
Dawn Kevies mom
AnonymousDecember 16, 2008 at 11:23 am
Julie, Hope you feel better soon!! No sew masks are pretty easy to make. just get a spool of grosgran ribbon-so it won’t unravel, some cotton fabric-a fat quarter is plenty for a few masks, and some fabric glue. Cut the ribbon long enough to tie around your head-you can do the measuring from either side to side or up around the ears to the back of the head. Then cut the fabric to a square that is big enough to cover your nose and mouth and glue the ribbon along the edges of the fabric. You can even pick awesome fabrics whatever suits your mood or attire. Make them to match your party outfit and you have a cool acessory! Man I could go on and on about these-now the creative juices are flowing….
I can see You with all sorts of cool print masks, Julie! Party down with no worries Hun!!! Hey maybe everyone else will get the message and want one Too!!:D
A poly/cotton fabric would work as well-I just wouldn’t go will nylon or anything like that-not easy to breathe through. Just think you could embellish it with sequines and the such.:)
AnonymousDecember 17, 2008 at 1:20 am
Thanksgiving went to friend’s house and everyone got a stomach virus. I was down for days-in my house alone/couldn’t eat/rise my head off the pillow. Most of the group felt ill for less than 24 hours.
I called later to see if anyone else had felt ill and was told yes. Seems someone’s toddler had been sick the day before the dinner. I certainly understand how it is to rarely go out and then catch what ever is out there.
I don’t bounce back as easily as others. No on gets it-that a simple bout will floor me for much longer. Almost very major holiday this happens…..
Wearing a mask isn’t a bad idea at all.
I try to find out as much as I can when going to a house/party/place I’ve not been before. This summer I was invited to a river house for the day. Didn’t go as I knew couldn’t do 8 hour visit. Later was told the place had no A/C and this the hottest month of the summer…. I woulda curled up and melted.Plus it turned into a 16 hour visit.
Listening to my inner intuition more.
AnonymousDecember 17, 2008 at 5:02 am
Funny that you brought this up. I have been a germ freak even before having cidp. I get a freaky at the airport too.
One day I got off a flight and was marching up the jetway behind someone of course and the guy in front of me, as he is walking turns directly around and sneezes real hard back at me. There was nothing I could do. I was like AHHH!
I am in a cloud of mist! OMG!
Then Last week, our Real good Friends and neighbors are over. If anyone we know, they should understand most what I have because we spend many hours together on weekend.
So my friend Frank is hacking, snorting, sniffing and constantly clearing his throat. So I say to Him wow, you don’t sound so good! and he replies his
Allergies are bothering him. the week prior his wife Cindy was doing the same thing. So I tell him, you have a cold Frank, and he would not admit it. In denial that he may have a cold or what. Pathetic. then he even goes as far as to tease me after he took a Decon, Saying the meds helped his allergy.
Well, At least I don’t look that good, so people don’t try and kiss me as much as you Pretty Ladies! So Us men may be a bit safer.
Its pretty much another case of most folks are totally tuned out to anything but what is in their world.
Could try wearing the mask and when asked about it say you have TB and they will stay away but thats no fun.
AnonymousDecember 17, 2008 at 1:04 pm
I have another idea that will work garantied. Turn the table 😀 If anyone asks you whether it really is contagious you can always be vague and say:” Well, there have been discussions about this.” Which is true, here on the forum someone asked about it some time ago.
AnonymousDecember 17, 2008 at 1:56 pm
That’s GREAT Norb! Well I am over my cold which I can only account to the IVIg because my husband kept getting sicker and is now on antibiotics and inhalers for walking pneumonia. He sounds awful and I’m counting my lucky stars I get IVIg. Meanwhile I ran into someone else who went to the party while I was in line to get his antibiotics – and yes of course she is sick too along with her husband. She said she knows of at least three other people who got sick too. See what one typhoid mary can do? Happy Holidays – sorry you got pneumonia! 🙁
Oh well, I’m going to spend the next year designing my mask to coordinate with my husband’s mask so we can go to the party next year and be safe. 😀
AnonymousDecember 17, 2008 at 2:27 pm
This is a great thread! Glad you are feeling better, Julie! Honestly, I think most people are really clueless about how chronically ill people fear the possibility of catching colds, flu, stomach viruses. I recently handed out bottles of Purell to all of my co-workers. I HATE going to work only to have co-workers sneezing and coughing all over the copier, phones, counters. We have generous sick leave but some people come to work when they are sick and then use their sick leave as an extension of their vacation time. Ok, that’s my pet peeve for the day. Time to get off my soapbox!! 🙂
AnonymousDecember 17, 2008 at 3:05 pm
[QUOTE=Iowagal] Honestly, I think most people are really clueless about how chronically ill people fear the possibility of catching colds, flu, stomach viruses. [/QUOTE]
I think that they are simply clueless about everything. Today I went and worked out a Curves with my mom. As we were finishing up the circuit, a woman was telling everyone, as she was leaving, that she was just getting over the flu. Why would someone go work out, with mostly 70+ year old women (and the rest of us younger ones with compromised immune systems) and expose them to the flu. I don’t get it. My only hope is that she said it was the stomach flu vs the regular flu…and I made sure I both washed my hands and then put on Purell.
AnonymousDecember 18, 2008 at 7:35 am
I ran across this by accident this morning and realized it’s perfect for our masks… inkjet fabric sheets – who would have thought it possible? I’m going to order some and I’ll let you know how they work out.
January 13, 2010 at 8:05 pm
Cheers to Moms.
I wish Julie was still checking in … she was working on a silk screened surgical masks idea that I think would go over really big.
The silk screens were animal-istic and really looked cool.
AnonymousJanuary 14, 2010 at 5:59 am
Man the guilt is killing me Gary – I’ll try to check in more now… I’ve just fallen back in love with my drawing pad since I got a new computer and I can’t seem to escape from it. I’ll give a brief update in a new post though I have to say this is still relevant – people are still coughing on me. :rolleyes:
AnonymousJuly 19, 2011 at 3:15 pm
[B]Hi folks! This Forum Form Format drives me nuts- But Look I’m 4 yeears int my DX
prendisone, for too long
IVIG failed reselts
for the last two years i’ve been on MYCOPHELALATE- Cell Cept
I’m still able to walk, drive, and the Hopkins Doc thinks my isease is “stopped”
Just Yesterday, when I tried to explain my persistent issues;
swallowing problems, inability to walk with a gallon of milk across the room or holod a book , swing a hammer, turn a wrench WITHOUT MY FACE GOING NUMB!!!!!!
i was told to BREATHE INTO A BROWN, PAPER BAG!!!”
aS i left, I, realized thethe CIDP Epert was, maybe suggesting I am either hyperventilating or a Hypochondriac!
PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT MEANY EXPERIENCE W THE BROWN BAG THEORY?
MY FREGULAR E-MAIL IS heronemus on aol
please use it, I’m terribe about logging in here
peace through strength!
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