Extremely Short Stories for those with Extremely Short Attention Spans

Oh nuts, squeaked Billy! I hate these family wedgie nite contests 😮 As he heard the train whistle he thought “maybe I ought to be moving on. . . . the end??

Abdul so distracted thinking about the 72 virgins that he didn’t see the road construction. He drove straight into the ten foot ditch and was buried under all the fertilizer

THE END 😮

A True Story:
Billy rented a townhouse next to tidy neighbours. Billy liked to leave his garbage all over his front yard. He piled up 20 full garbage bags there over the next 3 months. Cats, dogs, mice and cockroaches came. The landlord sent him a letter. He put the garbage in the trash cans. Billy piled up 15 more full garbage bags on his front yard during the next 2 months. The landlord sent him a letter. Billy put the garbage in the trash cans. Billy piled up 10 more full garbage bags on his front yard during the next month. The landlord sent him another letter. Billy put all his trash and some of his stuff in the garbage cans and a truck came for the rest of it. Billy doesn’t live there anymore. THE END.

D.U. turned 57 today. The Forum sent her a birthday email greeting. D.U. is glad and thanks the Forum. 🙂 The End.

PS: How’s that for short and sweet?

Harry went out to clear the snow off of the driveway. The snowblower would not start. Harry went back in the house and took a nap.

Harry, felt good when he awoke. He had a cup of coffee, breakfast, walked 20 minutes on the tread mill. Harry took a nap and felt good when he awoke.

I thought to myself, when I die, I want to die like my grandfather did – peacefully in his sleep – and not like the passengers in his car screaming in terror as the car plunged off the cliff. The end

The snow fell, the wind blew. Harry look out the window and was thankful that he had a house full of company that could shovel the drive. Harry smiled and went and took a nap.

As Mary bent over to pick up the dollar coin lying in the snow, she heard an ominous rip in her pants seams, but she rejoiced to think that the coin was just enough to buy a spool of thread.

As the mayor shot the last of the geese that were over-crowding the local park, he thought his deed might merit mention in the town newspaper, complete with his photo. Then the police came along. As it turned out, he was right.

I saw a bird upon a twig
A blade of grass held in her bill.
She fluffered her feathers
And was gone in a blink.

I fed a cat at my door on a cold winter night. The next night it was back for more and each night after that. Four weeks go by then one night she is here with four little kittens. OOPS!

The plastic berry pails thumped on the handlebars of the bicycle as Alice climbed the path to the saskatoon bushes. Suddenly a doe scrambled hastily through the meadow grass and flashed past the trees and beyond the fence. The bicycle continued along the path till it came to the little fawn, lying dead with its neck twisted and bitten. The leaves of the bushes nearby rustled. The bicycle scrambled hastily along the path and flashed past the trees and beyond the fence.

Robert’s foot fell through the rotted webbing of the chair seat as he twisted in the light bulb. As he fell through the air he reached out and slapped the light switch on. Light flooded the room. There was no noise as the executioners bullet ripped through the open window fulfilling its mission.

As Eileen scornfully eyed her long-suffering music teacher, she thought how easy it would be to cancel her stupid music lessons and dump this teacher.
Mrs. Evens cleared her throat and read the Studio Guidelines, including the student’s responsibilities of courtesy, co-operation and effort.
As Eileen’s scorn changed to startled awareness, embarrassment and respect, Mrs. Evans eyed her often troublesome student, and thought how easy it would be to cancel her music lessons and dump this student.

The green duffel bag tugged a little tear when it got caught on the nail. As the man walked, the bag jostled about and the tear became a rip. His booty of stolen hybrid corn seeds began to fall out. The hybrid corn seed was evidently tasty. No criminal charges were ever filed as the animal kingdom balanced the scales of justice.

Now what do we do with 6 foot squirrels and 10 foot wing span crows?

Love. Is it really just a game? Tim’s little inkling became infatuation and soon thereafter an office romance blossomed between himself and Donna. Wedding invitations were sent and the big day passed without incident. Now, nine months later, the population of Discordia has grown by one. The extinction of our species has once again been averted.

God saw that the wickedness of the Earth was very great.
God sent Jesus Christ to be the Saviour of the world.
Jesus Christ came to the Earth, lived a perfect life, and suffered and died for the atonement of sinners.
Jesus Christ rose from the dead by the mighty power of God.
He ascended into heaven, where He is now at the right hand of God Almighty.
From hence, He shall come to judge the living and the dead, and to reign over all.
Even so, come Lord Jesus!

(Have a Blessed Easter!)

Edna tried and tried to sight-read that piano piece. She focussed on her finger-technic with the utmost concentration, but she still made constant mistakes.
Suddenly, insight dawned. “Well, maybe if I watched the [B]notes[/B] instead of my hands”, she said.

(a true story)

It was tough for Willy; first an egg, then a worm (some close calls there), then a pupae, now an emerging adult. But the radioactive fallout from Japan had given Willy something unusual…super powers.
Yup…Willy could read.
So it wasn’t long before he found the buffer zone signs that said: “No Pesticides/Herbicides on this land”. And Willy entered paradise.
However, due to the fact that the birds had also entered paradise, Willy had a short lifespan there. But he was happy up till the moment the robin saw him.

From the facts presented to me, I find: They met, they talked, they parted.

we put 2 catapillers in a liter soda bottle (empty, of course) and got to watch them turn into polka-dot wasp moths! It was really neat to watch. They look exactly like they sound. black with white polka-dots that look like a wasp but are really a moth! you can google them to see what they look like! 🙂

I walked confidently down the road. As I approached the monumental distance of a half mile out, my feet suffered from the pain. I sat down. I got a ride back to the house. I took pills. I slept.

and, as we all know. “Tomorrow is just another day!”

Thanks Scarlett

Two squirrels made the journey from tree to tree across the yard. By traveling in this manner they artfully dodged the dogs that hounded them on the ground. As they scurried across the newly shingled roof to their usual entry point in the roof they dashed inside the attic. Little did they know, a black snake had just entered the same hole. After a titanic struggle, the forces of nature once again took their course.

You can’t have your squirrel and eat it too

Edna’s phone-line had been dead for a week, so she made the necessary arrangements (via the neighbour’s phone) to have it serviced on Tuesday. She later double-checked the date with the company. The serviceman arrived early Monday morning. It took him all morning to install new phone lines in the backyard. While he was still out there, Edna’s phone rang. It was a voice-message from the phone company, reminding her that a serviceman would be there Tuesday to fix her phone, and to be sure to be home, or have someone over the age of 18 there.
Edna gently hung up the phone, baffled.

(a true story)

With the golf ball teed high the golfer moved swiftly and powerfully through the impact zone driving the ball straight and true. His subsequent arrest reinforces the concept that you don’t hit golf balls at the President’s red bus.

(President Obama rode past our golf course last week when he toured NC)

Edna thought that she’d spend her weekend just sleeping. But after every few hours, she’d wake up needing to go to the bathroom. So as Nature dictated her sleeping/waking activities, she decided to trick her mind into thinking of it as a ‘pacer’ such as the marathon swimmers use. However, the thought of water made her go to the bathroom even more often.

Bobby received an invitation to his 35th HS reunion. Since he left town after graduation and had not returned, he was at first curious about how he was found. He relented, and typed up a synopsis of his life since he left, and realized that although challenging, his life was good.
He still didn’t go, but he felt better.

Three people were eating at a table. They were equally ravenous and the piles of food on the table were shrinking as fast as their bellies were filling. Then one fell off his chair . Hunger in America was reduced by a third because only two were still eating.

There once was a successful forum. They migrated and everyone left.

Not true. Those who are committed to helping others deal with the serious illnesses of GBS and CIDP are still here.

I guess folks are wandering back, on the CIDP side activity just seems so slow. I mean the ones who are here do good things, Just not as many of them. Sometimes updates are golden and sometimes they lay eggs. I try to check on the facebook site as possible, maybe that will reach more folks over time.

There once was a great gbs-cidp site. It changed format and many members couldn’t access the forum anymore. But after more than a hundred tries for over a year, and one  reply from the site with a new password, this long-term member has now been able to access the forum again.

The End….no, not the end, thank goodness!

–D.U.

good one,,….funny and nice ,,,i am inspired to create some of these too and a little longer stories.Though i busy at both school and at

[URL=http://www.ittrainingnepal.com]Computer Education in Nepal[/URL] learning programming

,i would definitely create some stories and post it here,,,interesting ,like it

good one,,….funny and nice ,,,i am inspired to create some of these too and a little longer stories.Though i busy at both school and at

learning programming

,i would definitely create some stories and post it here,,,interesting ,like it

In addition to GBS/CIDP, Edna had asthma.  Over the years, many kind well-wishers had given her beautiful candles for a Christmas gift, which she’d carefully saved in her gift drawer.  Christmas was coming soon, but times were hard now, money was tight, and it was too expensive to give gifts. Until she opened that gift drawer, and started wrapping!

For my friends on the forum,
“Wings of An Eagle” by Steve Bell

Hi Everyone.
I’m Tyron and I’m living in Viet Nam.
I bussiness at watch shop đồng hồ dây da nam cao cấp chính hãng
I want to make friend and share knowledge each other.