Very Scared Feeling Guilty
February 1, 2007 at 10:28 am
I am writing to say that I think my son has come down with Influenza A. I did not vaccinate him due to my history with GBS. He has a fever of 104.2 this morning and still now 5 & 1/2 hours later still 103. We are going to the Doc today, but I am feeling so guilty for not vaccinating him.
Should I have? I know the complications of the flu shot and GBS and this is why we chose not to. If anything happens to him, I will just die.
Please give me some prayers and positive feedback.
Should I be feeling this guilty?
AnonymousFebruary 1, 2007 at 10:44 am
I’m not sure which strains the flu shot is supposed to protect against this year. It may very well be that the strain that he has was not ‘covered’ by the shot, and if he had the shot, he may very well have still come down with Influ.A
Schel, I do know how you feel however. Seeing a child ill is very stressful, and we wish we could just take it all away from them and be sick in their place – well, at least thats the way I feel.:( As parents, we really do what we feel is best for our children. We think and re-think things to distraction so that our children wont suffer. I think its probably easier for me to say this because my child doesnt have a temp that high, but ….. remember, having a flu shot doesnt stop you from getting the flu. Personally I wont ever send my children for flu shots as I feel that generally they are strong enough to fight it off, and dont have any immune issues that I know of.
Thinking of you Schel, keep us updated on how he is feeling.
AnonymousFebruary 1, 2007 at 11:48 am
Hi schel, don’t feel guilty. My son had the flu vacc this year, well in nov and the second was in early jan, he came down with the flu on the 19th, high fever, nausea, vomiting, headache and so forth. I came down with it the 20th, same thing, and still worn out from it. my hubby had the vacc also, he had a few hours of flu like symptoms and that was it. my daughter didn’t get the vacc or the flu. there is no way to know if its the right vacc or not, and like i said before it isn’t a foolproof vacc since my son and hubby had it and still got sick. the only reason i vacc my son was to help keep it from me and he gets sick all the time and i didn’t want him sick again this year. please don’t feel guilty, there is no gaurantee either way you go. kids are resiliant and with medication and fever control they bounce back. we switched back and forth between tylenol and motrin for my son’s fever, it works everytime. cool compresses and luke warm baths help big time also. hugs to your babe, and take care.
AnonymousFebruary 1, 2007 at 12:12 pm
Dont feel guilty. There’s no guarantee of not getting flu even with vaccine. When I grew up, no one got their child the flu shot unless they were immunocompromised or had bad asthma etc. So I dont know why nowadays parents get it thrown in their face my physicians every year. The flu is no fun, but the majority recover and go on with life. Do the chicken soup, comfort foods, vicks vapo rub lots of fluid thing. Hope you child is feeling better in a jiffy.
AnonymousFebruary 1, 2007 at 12:12 pm
I understand your feelings somewhat. I have 4 daughters and 2 SUPERFANTASTIC grandsons and when they are sick in anyway I ask for it to be me instead. You did what your gut and heart told you to do. I took the flu shot 1 time in my life and got the worst case of flu I ever had, I thought I was going to die. I personally don’t see a need in iot unless it’s a person really prone to getting sick as in the elderly and children that have alot of immune problems. Even then it’s a iffy question to me. The most important thing right now is don’t let a guilty feeling get to you because you need to be 100% for your son. It’s kinda like if mom ain’t happy no one is. If your feeling down your not going to be able to give him your all.
PRAYERS ARE COMING TO HIM
Believe it we have connections.
Severe GBS 10/11/2006
AnonymousFebruary 1, 2007 at 6:39 pm
Don’t feel guilty. While GBS or CIDP are not hereditary, there is a bit of a predisposition in some families for auto-immune diseases.
Personally, I would rather take a risk that my child would get the flu than to risk GBS. At least they recover completely from the flu, while this is not the case with GBS.
Best wishes for your child’s quick recovery.
February 1, 2007 at 9:49 pm
Hello everyone and thank you for your continued support and prayers.
It is as we expected. He has Influenza A. My dad and the doc we saw both kind of gave me the 3rd degree about “that I should have had him get a flu shot.” You know… just maybe… if they had had GBS maybe their thoughts would be different. It really frustrates me when I get these things said to me and they do not know how GBS is or feels. I wouldn’t wish GBS on my worse enemy. The flu? That either, but if I had to pick, it definately would be the flu. Those of you here with GBS understand where I come from.
His temp has gone as high as 104.5 today. Talk about scary. I have managed to give him tylenol alternated with Ibuprofen and sponge bathed him with luke warm water to get it to drop. We have got it to come down to 100.6 at one point. I am setting my alarm every 1-2 hours tonight to make sure I can check on him.
I am a little scared after hearing about the 8 year old in St. Paul MN who recently died from complications of the same thing.
I also have a memory of when I was a child and my cousin’s cousin that had a viral infection at age 8 and also died. Back then they were not sure what it was that she died from, strep, high fever or flu.
So I am sure anyone who has a child here can understand my being scared and overprotective. Willie is also my only child. I would just loose it if anything ever happened to him.
My husband thinks I am overprotective and over reacting. for some reason though something is telling me to stay alert which is also hard with my fatigue I have. I would do anything for my son though.
Thank you again for everyones support and prayers. I wish I could give you all a big hug.
AnonymousFebruary 1, 2007 at 10:53 pm
You have to understand most people have never even heard of GBS much less understand it and the fear it can scar someone with. I will never forget as with I would imagine anyone else that has had this. Unless someone has been touched by it there is actually no way to understand. You will do right ,because your his mother and mothers do that. As far as the people giving you greif , let it roll of of your back because you being upset is only hindering your ability to care for your child. Grit your teeth and be strong. OK this is coming from a Dad of 4 daughters but I was my mothers only son and I haven’t forgotten how she cared for me. Do the best you can and believe in yourself .
Hang in there.
Severe GBS 10/11/2006
AnonymousFebruary 1, 2007 at 11:24 pm
I’m so sorry your little guy has got the flu. I’m sure with your care and attention he’ll recover just fine.
I understand your concern about the flu shot — and especially for a child. I’ve been following the vitamin D research and their Oct newsletter was all about the flu and maintaining higher vitamin D levels in the winter.
Here’s a link to the newsletter:
Here’s a another link:
Considering the lack of confidence in the flu shot — I think going forward I’m just going to monitor our families’ vitamin D level — grandkids included — and just skip the flu shot from now on. I think monitoring our vitamin D levels is a lot less risky — especially if a family member has gotten GBS. I’ve asked my brother to check with his neurologist and see if he has an opinion on this.
If you haven’t already I would show your family doctor / neurologist this research and ask if they would agree?
Best wishes to you…
AnonymousFebruary 1, 2007 at 11:29 pm
Do NOT feel guilty about not getting your son the flu shot. I believe that the flu shot is what caused Emily to have Miller Fisher Syndrome. Looking back on things, she was having CIDP symptoms (that we didn’t really know about then) when she got her 1st and only flu shot. 3 weeks later her right eye was paralyzed, she couldn’t lift her arms, open her hands or walk.
Emily’s home care nurse refuses to get a flu shot. She said that she’s seen way too many cases of autoimmune diseases caused by the flu shot over the years.
I tell everyone that I know that they need to think twice about getting it. I don’t think it’s safe or even needed in most of the population.
You are doing the best that you can. Don’t let anyone make you feel about about making decisions for your child. You are his mom & that is your job.
I hope he feels better soon.
February 2, 2007 at 1:07 am
You all have made me cry. (I think I needed that.) To know that I have all you pullin for me makes me feel so good. It’s 12:07 AM here in MN and his temp is up again. So this is helping me stay up to watch on him.
AnonymousFebruary 2, 2007 at 5:30 am
Oh Schel ~ my prayer thoughts are with you as you care for your son. How well I remember when my children were little and sick . . . and now I have grandchildren to worry over!
You are doing your best for your little one. You must remember that in this life there are no guarantees. You could have done it the “other way” and still been questioning yourself.
Here’s many hugs for you and your little guy 🙂 🙂 🙂
AnonymousFebruary 2, 2007 at 6:05 pm
I agree with everyone else: This is NOT your fault. Lots of people don’t get the flu shot and do just fine.
And now they have antivirals for when you get the flu. I’m wondering why the doc isn’t prescribing them. Maybe it’s just for adults? All I know is a couple years after I got GBS I got the flu and went into the doctor not knowing what was wrong. She gave me the antivirals. I felt terrible that day, slightly better the day after, and practically human the day after. Though it took me almost two weeks to get my appetite back.
I’ll think some positive thoughts for the little guy but don’t let anyone guilt you into doing something like a flu shot. If your doc is so vehement, explain your reasoning for it — GBS and the possibilities — and if he’s dismissive, find another doc! There’s new ones every year!
AnonymousFebruary 2, 2007 at 8:47 pm
Your Dad and your doc had a go at you because you didn’t give your son the flu shot. I find that a little odd.
Did they give out about it BEFORE your son got the flu?
Did they both get the flu shot? And in time for the flu season?
In making their considered decision, did they take into account the fact that the auto immune disease, GBS, has reared its head in your family.
Did they both take into account the fact that the chances of actually getting influenza are not that great, just as the chances of getting GBS are not that great?
Did they consider the chances of dying from influenza and compare it to the chances of dying from GBS?
Did your doctor state that the flu strain your son has is one that is covered by the vaccine this year?
Did they take account of the fact that the flu shot was exactly the same for 2 years running apparently – even though the influenza virsus mutates every year?
If the above did not occur, basicallly – they are ‘whistling Dixie’ – I believe that is the American term. Which to me means that they are scared because your son has contracted influenza. And are taking it out on you. Another load for your shoulders.
I suspect that your Dad is doing the ‘guilt trip’ which all parents do, just as you are. I would be exactly the same.
If I had never had GBS I would not dream of getting the flu vaccine for me or my 13 year old daughter.
I also made a decision that neither of us would have the tetanus vaccine. The commonest way to get lockjaw is from soil that has manure added to it and within the last 2 years I added manure to the soil, and I have had GBS, and my Dad (God rest him) was threatened by lockjaw.
I used to get a number of chest infections, I’ve had pneumonia twice and liv in a rural area.
I discusssed the flu vaccine, the pneumonia vaccine and the tetanus vaccine with my doc. His attitude was that I would be better off fighting the flu etc than getting the vaccine. His argument was that hopefully I was strong enough to fight it off and, as regards the tetanus,. if I saw symptoms I would immediately go to the hospital and seek the vaccine.
It seems that you made a decision based on the best of your knowledge. and now whilst you are dealing with your son’s illnesss, you have the double annoyance of being lambasted by both your Dad and your GP for a previous decison that you made. Neither of them are actually helping you to deal with the present situation – they are simply puting obstacles in your path by bugging you about things that happened in the past All their chatting will not help your son one iota, whereas you are looking after your son, getting up in the night to check on him etc
Motherhood and guilt seem to go hand in hand.
February 4, 2007 at 5:53 pm
Well, after a long long and I must say, artic cold weekend, my son is on the mend. He is doing better and his temp has been only in the 100’s off and on. I would like to [FONT=”Verdana”][SIZE=”2″][COLOR=”Blue”]thank everyone [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]here who have helped me and said prayers for him.
I am glad he did not have the flu shot. GBS would have not been this short of a duration.
Got to go he is telling me he is hungry finally!
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