I do have a adult question

Tim thats what we are here for. Fire away with the question(s)

tim,

ditto dawn. all has been discussed here at one time or another. also you can e or pm me if you chose. take care. be well.

gene gbs 8-99
in numbers there is strength

Ditto, Tim.
Ask away. I have lost all modesty through the years.

Tim,

On our old forum, you know, before the ice age :rolleyes: …. We did have a few adult threads. They had to do with sexual questions regarding libido, failure to become aroused post GBS, problems performing sexually etc. I know that one or two of the threads were very sensitive and people treated it as such. Here I am blabbering about the above topic, and it very well may be something else you wanted to ask:o .
As we are all adults, and some may also suffer from the same symptoms, I’m sure no-one will be offended if you ask.

I’ll cover my eyes!;) just kidding Tim! whats on your mind? if you can’t ask us–who are you going to ask?!:D

Come on Tim just like the little train said to himself I think I can I think I can. Ask away and I betcha we’ll all be able to relate to what you’re saying. 🙂

Aaawww he’s shy ….:p

Hi Tim

Well you said that you want to ask something but it’s adult and you don’t know how to ask it.

So: adult, want to ask, don’t know how to. In my limited experience that means tax, drugs or sex. Being as you are a guy I will add football.

If you now mention tax, drugs or sex, fine. But if you mention football I’m gonna think you’re kinky. Tax questions are adult, scary, boring and necessary. That leaves drugs and sex.

So, drugs – I’m not up on that subject so I can only guess: you use drugs but don’t want to or you don’t use drugs but are tempted.

That leaves sex: well then I am a bit non-plussed because without sex neither you nor I would be here. So what’s the problem? As was already mentioned, if you cannot ask here where can you ask?

Come to think of it, if you cannot ask here, then I am in big trouble cos I’ve sought others opinions on loads of stuff before.

[QUOTE=Thray]I have a adult question but really don’t know how to say or ask it.
Tim:confused:[/QUOTE]

Don’t worry about it. If someone never heard about it they can’t be offended. If they have heard about it they may have an suggestion. So go for it! 😎

TA, Very Well Put!!!!!!:D

i may understood what u want to say but u must told us we r here all family go on to know and let others know

tim,

psychologically it can be a big deal, but physically it’s nerve damage just like nerve damage in other parts of your body. and like the rest of the nerves in your body, it’ll heal in its own good time. no one knows the time frame. i know it is not a lot of help. anything more specific you want to know? take care. be well.

gene gbs 8-99
in numbers there is strength

Hey Tim: I know several other guys with the same issue from GBS. As Gene says, nerve damage below the waist is probably responsible. I am glad you had the courage to ask, as I think many people who don’t post as well as those who do have sexual issues from GBS. Such issues can certainly hurt our feelings as men and can have a large psychological impact. Better to talk about it than not. Jeff

tim,

let her read this thread & post any thoughts she has. other than that she does not sound very understanding. perhaps it is she who is insecure. relax buddy, the important part works! take care. be well.

gene gbs 8-99
in numbers there is strength

Not being a guy I cant speak from experience, but I have heard that when guys have nerve damage below the waist masturabtion can help them to get over the problem that you are having. So, if you are not doing it now, its worth a shot to start.

Tim, I’ve got the same issue going on. My wife as well needs me to complete and even said she wanted to wait till I was better. This whole thing has allowed me to focus on her pleasure rather than my own.-Not something I really did before.
Just let me finish by saying that women aren’t the only ones who can fake it.
Andy

Hi

I can (I think) understand the insecurity that the woman in a man’s life can feel when he doesn’t get his rocks off, because the first thought is ‘it’s me’ (women are insecure!). Being told that “it’s not you” just makes me suspect a kind lie is being told.

“She thinks I just am not excited like I was. I tried to tell her it wasn’t that.” Now, you are talking to a female, not a man – different ballgame entirely. I wonder how you tried to tell her: the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ thing – won’t work. The ‘I want you like crazy, you drive me nuts, and I could scream when suddenly everything doesn’t work’ would probably fare better.

If my husband had had GBS and told me that he was as randy as anything and wanted to come (that’s one of the important bits for a woman to know – the wanting I mean) but for some reason it wasn’t happening and he thought it was something to do with having had GBS, then I could handle that. I could take a step back and consider the situation more logically and hopefully appreciate his standpoint, how he felt and how it was affecting him. Because in that situation about the last thing he would need is his woman getting tied up in knots about it. So you need to deal with it – as a woman my instinctive fear (I mean that it may not be rational or fair but it is strong and immediate) is that ‘he doesn’t love me’, ‘he’s bored with me’, etc.

So communication, honest communication is I suspect the first step. Because if it’s not happening, about the last thing you need to add to the situation is your woman secretly thinking that it is something to do with her – lack of finesse, prowess, that she does not get you going etc.

From what you said, I gather (if I am reading it right) that the outcome is the same whether you are with her or alone. I suspect she needs to know that – because it tells her that the problem does not rest with her!

Like the guys have said, it sounds like a physical thing and I hope time is the cure because I can only guess at how frustrating it is.

Was it Jeff who said he knows of guys who have encountered this? That’s one of the reasons why I do think, as Gene said, that if she read this thread she might feel a whole lot better. I probably disagree with Gene about her maybe not being very understanding as, being female myself, I certainly relate to the possible (probable) feelings of insecurity. Actually I suspect that feelings of insecurity tells you that she cares about you.

Andy I’m glad you are focussing on your wife’s pleasure, though I naturally wish it wan’t because of problems. I have to admit though that I’ve known for years that men can fake it. And there have been times when I’e thought ‘will you stop pretending and go to sleep!’.

God bless

God bless

ta, well said.

tim, pls do not take this the wrong way, i occasionally try to throw in some humor that does not always work & may border on unacceptable on this forum. that said, maybe you should do more than pray when on your knees. sorry couldn’t help myself. take care. be well.

gene gbs 8-99
in numbers there is strength

Teresa Anne really hit the nail on the head with how you tell her. The its not you it me not working, as another female backing what she is saying I would not relate well to hearing that and would in my head say “yeah it must be me” but if you continue to reassure her with things that you want her, she is sexy, etc, then that is the way to get your point across to a female without her reading to much into it and reanalyzing it as it really being all her fault.

Hi Tim

I can relate on two fronts…personal experience with GBS and sexual function. I am a woman but it took me awhile to be able to climax. I could and would get randy and it was obvious the problem wasn’t with my hubby. Fortunately I was able to explain I was numb, period. I could get going but getting over the hill was frustrating. It has gotten better thank goodness…but sometimes I do have problems still on occassion.
Now for understanding the male side of it. My hubby had an accident when he was young. It is also very difficult for him to reach that point. We have grown close enough that we have found ways to overcome it and also know it may not happen every time. I know it is not me and have accepted the way things are. Sheesh, I love the extended intimacy times! Ohhh one huge thing that ya may be able to try…instead of just friction, try squeezing gently as well. He found that pressure works for him along with a bit of friction. If you let it get to you, it will compound the problem. Work with what you ahve right now and develop new things with your wife to create pleasure and bonding.

Hope this helps.

Lori

Interesting thread. Really, not for its content, Tim, in that I have read it all here at some point or another; rather, your sensitivity in an autonomous setting. hehehe It is kind of endearing. I mean, it is not as if we had your personal details or if you were at some kind of AA meeting. “I’m Rocker, and I am a GBSer.” I might add that you are only a year into recovery, so not all is lost.

Since Lori posted such a wonderful post, let me share more about my post-GBS experience. About three weeks into ICU I experienced my first erection, an event I recommended to my nurse to document in my chart. I thought of throwing a party of sorts, then thought otherwise because I could not feel a thing anyway. So, I took yet another nap instead. The first time I attempted intercourse, about six months out of the hospital, my girlfriend at the time became so frustrated with not being able to get me off she felt worse than I did about the situation! You see, her need was not an orgasm; it was to make me happy and relaxed, that she felt needed.

During the first three years of recovery I felt a slow gradual return to almost full sensation. Now I cannot clinically confirm this, nor do I want to, but it seems I have greater sensation on the right side of my ***** than the left side, which coincides with the rest of my body- the left side of my entire body feels less sensitive compared to my right! Go figure. Anyway, it still takes longer for me to get off, and there are times when I just cannot- stay erect but no kaboom. Oh, did I mention I am 48- that might have something to do with it too 🙂

Hey, since you got me thinking, another point is that I am not as good a lover from the physical perspective- can’t go as long as I would like. In fact, the afore mentioned woman said at one point, “I wish you could make love to me like you used to before you got sick”, which was a wonderful blow to my ego. Things didn’t work out with Kathy for a number or reasons.

In closing, Tim, I agree with gene, as I usually do; you must adapt to the situation as best you can and remember your body is still healing, so give yourself a break and realize there are certain things she may not understand even if you try to explain- point her to this thread and let her read these insightful comments from fellow GBSers!

Rocker your out of control lol.

Jerimy

You know Jer, nobody has been teasing you lately have they???? I think we need to get little of that done again.

Edit : a year or two ago, it often used to be ‘pick on Jerimy’ day, well, every now and then – dont know why this thread makes me think of that again

Tim,

Ben has had the same problem a few times, especially right after his GBS. Since he wasn’t getting any physical therapy for that particular area, I designated myself to be his “P. P. Therapist.” At first, he wasn’t even interested, since it was still paralyzed, but it didn’t stay paralyzed much longer. As for the other problem, your wife needs to be more understanding. I let Ben do whatever he can, and if he starts getting worn out, it’s time to stop. Fortunately, it isn’t a significant problem with him and only happens every once in a while, but I owe it to him to be understanding when it does happen. I know he loves me more than anything, and that’s what’s important.

I hope this helps!

Shannon

[B][COLOR=”SeaGreen”]The compassion and understanding in this thread is overwhelming. I am so glad to be a part of this site.[/COLOR][/B]

Gene, I love your sense of humor – there’s more than a little truth to it.

Suzanne

Hey Tim: My heart goes out to you and I can relate to all you say. But maybe it is time to find out what makes you worthwhile without work, sex or any of the other things we find our value in. Maybe there is something just about you that makes you worthwhile. Sorry if I sound like a therapist-occupational hazard. Jeff

Good Tim, for my intent is to share my situation while not offending you. I don’t know about your post GBS sex life, but sex is supposed to be fun and when it becomes work and frustration, well, then it certainly can become quite depressing. Hang in there and work through the issues as best you can knowing many of us GBSers can relate to your situation.

Again, your body is still trying to fix itself. There is some irony that anti-depressants have ill side effects sexually, which is quite depressing in and of itself. As Jeff pointed out, we all must try to find the good stuff even when life is full of bad stuff! Hey, I feel envious you are in a relationship with someone willing to stay with you regardless of your faults!

Hi Jeff, if you are still reading your posts.

I too can relate to what you are going through. I’m post 5 years, was paralyzed to the chest. 75% recovered!! I’ll try to explain some things that are working for me, but they maybe get XXXXXX out. First, I needed to work the muscles in the area by tightening and relaxing the muscles that stop your peeing. Over many months I believed this helped regain some sensitivity. Next, I got herbs from the health store to help with desire. Then viagra that helps me to stay hard longer. The next step was the hardest. Sharing with my wife. I can not climax during intercourse but working with my wife we can sometimes get me over the edge by taking turns hand stimulating me.

The next thing I’m going to share is by far the most disturbing. Meds are bad for sex!!!!! No one reports it as a side effect because very few talk openly about sex. I take very few meds because antidepressants and nerve pain pills simply make climax impossible for me. Try to skip your meds 4-6 hours before sex.

Take the rest of the day off,

Rob

I had the same problem with ejaculation after I had GBS in 2004. In my case I think it was related to bladder problems as I also had problems pissing. It took me over a month to start pissing normally without help again. Soon after I also got the ability to ejaculate.

What caused the problem to last this long I think was the hospitals failure in giving me medications to prevent me from pissing uncontrollably. Someone misread the label I guess. Anyways its a problem which can lead to a lot of frustration. I remember my girlfriend at the time wasnt happy with my inability to ejaculate. Well….I’m better now and ejaculating like never before 🙂 …I really hope you will get better too.

Hi, I had Miller Fisher (GBS variant) in June this year. Is there anyone in this group who has had Miller Fisher. At this stage, my sex drive and capability are almost non-existent. Anyone who’s been through MFS had similar symptoms?