May 27, 2007 at 1:26 am

I have met with 2 different doctors (once) who think I have PTS- but I never followed up with either of them- since they had never heard of GBS & I am hoping to find/talk with a professional who understands the illness. I think medication can be helpful but I haven’t gone that route. I’m not totally depressed- I really feel great most times- but then something will remind me how brutally hard it was in ICU & Rehab. I’m not sure how to process the memories- everyone says “talk” but I hate to dwell. Who will listen? My husband is tired of the topic- understandably. I just can’t seem to let go of things- like how my heart hurt when I couldn’t see my beautiful 2 year old son for a month. I still cry when I think about how much I missed him. I tell my husband where things are around the house in case “I’m not here someday.” There was a tower out my hospital window- When I drive by it now, I remember looking at it from my bed wondering if I’d ever get my life back. Who was giving my son his bath? Who was my husband eating dinner with? Life was going on without me- a realization that was shocking. I also get upset when I see someone struggling with a wheelchair, walker or cane. My body may be 90% back but I don’t know if I’ll ever forget. I agree that GBS changes a person.