Honor that awesome love.
I am like you that I have a song that always makes me cry. It was played at my sister’s funeral who died when we were children. It is the only song that literally makes me cry, but every time I hear it I cry. I used to be embarassed about this, but over the years, I have come to see that the intense emotion attached to that song was one way of keying into the feeling of deep love that I had for her and now think of it as a way to honor her.
Maybe this concept can help you a little bit in a different way on November 19. Since you know this is going to be a hard day, perhaps you can help by thinking of it as a day to honor your love for Debra and the light that she brought to the world rather than feeling like you are drowning in the terrible sadness of not having her with you any more. A lot of families I work with who have lost children to cancer get through “anniversary days” better this way. It is hardest the first year after the death of someone you love deeply. Consider doing something special that you used to do with her with pleasant memories that you could approach with the mindset that this is an acknowledgement of the person she was and STILL is in your heart and will remain so. Maybe it will help.
This family will be thinking of you.
With Hope for cure of these diseases. [U][/U]