question about stress and after affects of an assualt

thank you so much for your replies everyone. I am crying. she is a scary person and we have all thought she was a loon, irrational, delusional, and impossible to talk to. Her daughter had been dating my son and had us all fooled too. We thought the girl was perfect….found out later my son was too ashamed to tell me she had been verbally abusing him and threatening him for the 10 months they were together! But the girl left her part out of the whole thing and only told mommy that her heart was broken because he said he hated her and wasted 10 months of his life on her. This started the whole thing because I apparently raised a horrible irresponsible abusive son. I know better and also know there is no way to defend such a thing to a person like her. So yes, I have taken a lot from her, her friends, and my son has taken a lot from them personally which brought out my protective instincts. I kept him close and told him to stay as far away from any one connected to them as possible and to just be careful. Fortunately no one has physically touched my children, just trash talk (not sure which is worse for teens). I am usually one to avoid conflict and confrontation but a person can truly only take so much esp when it just keeps going. But, we are dealing with a grown woman who loaded up her SUV with KIDS to go to a fight in a local park to make sure the person who was their “friend” didn’t get hurt! At close to midnight this happened! Who does that?! So yes, she is wired wrong or something. Still thinks all of her actions from A to Z are to defend her daughters honor and reputation…in reality is has nothing to do with her daughter, it is all something personally wrong with her.

I admit that I am scared after my son came home from school yesterday (less than 24 hours after the police told this girl and made my own son promise no contact whatsoever with any of us or them) and told me that the daughter had gone up to his new girlfriend and personally told her to her face that what happened to me is nothing. That her family and friends are not afraid to do anything to anyone! The girl and her mother refuse to report it, and I tried to convince them I need this for the case against them. No go. This type of behaviour and talk makes me fear for my children and my family…and their friends! I do not know what these people are capable of and do not want to find out.

You have helped convince me (along with spending half the night in the bathroom and dealing with such anxiety and stress that I am still shaking and upset on top of residuals and pain) to go ahead with the charges. She has gotten away with things way too long and has to realize at least one person won’t take it. I pray it does not make things worse for us.

Thank you so much again. Yes I am scared of getting sick again because of all this stress, but am not as afraid of the hospital as I am of her. Since I can do something about her and her actions, that is the least I can do to ease my stress and fear.

I am going to send an email to the officer now. He is off for the next couple of days, and have quickly learned getting in touch with any officer personally at the station is impossible and that their dispatch is not very helpful. I think an email will be better. I will be letting him know I want to go ahead with charges and also add to it about the verbal confrontation and threats from the daughter (since the girl and her mom wont do anything about it, it may be useless but at least it will be documented in some way even if it is my word against theirs). Oh and I couldnt have her arrested because I was told even if I did press charges that night, they would not be taking her away. Yes, leaving an unstable person to go about her business! I am quickly learning that being nice and playing by the rules is not how a person gets anywhere in this new society that has developed. Sad and scary.

thank you again. I will keep you updated. Right now I am dealing with guilt, shame, embarrassment, and anger. Still in a lot of pain, still twitching and tingling and numb. Am going to spend the day in bed and try to get my wits back.

Jessica, will email you soon.

My husband is worried about how I am feeling…left foot and leg numb and tingling like crazy, kind of dragging my feet, my left side seems to be more affected by all this than my right. I have no signs of paralysis but the continuous muscle twitches and shaking have me on edge (which doesnt help). I will be calling my dr in the morning and making an appt because I feel this has made a difference in my health. It is a new dr which will be interesting, but my files are still with him and I will also make darn sure he knows everything that happened and what is going on now. In the ER the dr did a strength test—pull against my hands, squeeze my fingers, lift legs, etc—-he seemed concerned about the “baseline lack of strength” but I told him that is what I normally am like. Lifting my legs was weird! It was almost as if my brain was telling me to do it but they didnt want to cooperate, also hurt my back to do so. So I do think another visit is in order. Will probably have to go back to the ER since they have the monitoring equipment (I am praying no spinal, just shocking me) and my dr will probably send me there anyhow considering the reason.

I like the GBS POSSE, that made me smile! Now if only we could use that against GBS itself!

I have to get my inner strength back quickly and take action. I appreciate the call to the lawyer and asking what to do. I may do that myself, I already have an open case with legal aid for SSI, wonder if he would handle this? I Also thought going to the station in person was a better idea than an email or call. I may have a busy day tomorrow making the rounds with dr’s, lawyers, and law enforcement. She has no idea at all what I have going on. She thinks I have dropped it or am too afraid since I didnt fight back (other than a couple of instinctive swings). Photos are already on file with the police, have the ER visit from yesterday on file as well, and will have more for them asap. Hubby assured me he has our back and we will deal with whatever happens if and when it happens but she can not get away with this.

Thank you for your prayers, your honesty, your research, and your support. It definitely gives me strength! I have to head to bed again even though I have been there all day anyhow.

I also got some beautiful news. A very dear friend of mine was visiting our former hometown, got in tough and asked if I would like for him to stop by my mothers grave. I was so touched. I asked if possible could he please place one red rose on it for me. He wrote today and let me know he was able to get over there and left two…one from him and one from me. I cried my eyes out (like now) it touched me so deeply. He was very dear to her so all of it meant so very much to me. I thanked him from the very bottom of my heart and wished I could hug him in person for his kindness. Someday I will hopefully be able to place a rose myself, but right now it still hurts too much to think about.

hugs to all. Thank you so much again for your friendship and support.

[QUOTE=homeagain]That your CANE which should be with you at all times [even if you don’t use it?] CAN be a good defensive weapon! I believe there are even ‘cane self-defense’ classes! No kidding! Just Google or whatever, it up….
Go get this turkey…. Try talking to your city or county prosecutor’s office or, just start w/the police and see where it goes. Do get to see your docs and get DOCUMENTATION of all your lumps and bruises to boot! The more the better, for YOU.
In the meantime? Make those calls, do what you must in that quarter? BUT MOSTLY LOOK AFTER YOURSELF!
Be strong as you can and don’t let this person bully you! As that is what they are doing. HUGS![/QUOTE]

I manage without a cane…slight limp, worse when tired or over done it….but boy howdy would that have come in handy! I always used to tease my kids that when I get old and grey they better be nice to me or I will hit them with my cane. Sheesh, now that I am 40, got grey hair (hide it only because I am too impatient to let it grow out) and got hit with GBS a cane may not be that far off!

I got in touch with the police officer and let him know I want to go ahead with charges. Also told him why…apparently it was agreed on that hubby would talk to me about NOT pressing charges (huh?!?!) as long as everyone agreed to drop everything and go live their lives. Well since the daughter insisted on opening her mouth (she is the one who started all of this in the first place but Princess Perfect is very good at covering her tracks!) AND told people she was being harassed by my son and his gf (I dont know who was calling her/texting her, but it wasnt them) which made a group of girls confront his gf at school, all bets were off! Paperwork is being forwarded to the Prosecuting attorney or someone asap. I will also be seeing my dr a week early because my back is still hurting, had bad numbness burning and tingling up to my upper thigh last night in my left leg. Only up to my calf in the right. My face is numb on the left side…was only partially on the right before. Also noticed an over reaction to “hormone rushes” like adrenaline and such that had gotten better or at least were more or less under control. Freaked me out to have a pounding and racing heart and my blood pressure soared giving me a headache today and it was only over an interesting conversation with hubby. The meds I am on raise my BP (usually it is 112-117/80-84 since I started the Savella. Certainly do not like it that high!) and heart rate anyhow. Hell I could stroke out or something. Can we say breathe in, breathe out?
I have no idea what this will bring about or stir up. I am sure something will happen. I did let the officer know I am afraid for us but am not letting it stop me from pressing charges. I am very glad hubby has work coming in so that is a lot of stress off of us, only to be replaced with all of this. Wonder what happens if she counter charges? Is that possible? She has a large group of friends that will lie thru their teeth for her, and I have only my 3 kids and my hubby to speak on my behalf. I have a few character witnesses (is that what they are called??) who can vouch for who I am and what it takes to push me to confront someone. Even my ex hubby would stand up in court on that one. Ugh. I will allow myself a girly moment locked in the bathroom and cry it out, but after that I am putting on my game face.

I noticed I have been afraid to go outside and take photos because of what the neighbor said to the officer about me sneaking around with my camera and she thinks I am taking photos of their family. ??? Nothing could be further from the truth. I guess I will have to talk myself into going somewhere else to get some photos. Been awhile since I was out and about with my camera. Better enjoy the last of Summer while I can because Fall hits fast here! Maybe I will go ahead and take that mini day trip with my daughter to a couple of pioneer cemeteries we have been wanting to see. She adores those moments with me and we get to learn about the local history and explore. I try to keep up and she knows I rest often so she doesn’t go too far ahead. It is worth a couple of days in bed for some time away!

I am not usually a confrontational person. So yea this behavior was borne out of being pushed way too far. But I would not have raised a hand to any of them.

Thank you again, and will keep you all up to date. The kids have been told to keep quite and no contact…I tell them this daily. We hold our heads high and remember we have done nothing wrong or that was not deserved.

HUGS and prayers.

Lori

We live in a cookie cutter neighborhood. The woman who came after me lives somewhere else in the subdivision, the other people (we are surrounded by their friends!!) live right across the street, next door, and always have people over. If it were OUR house we would build a stone wall with a gate, but we are just renting. Our goal right now is to move somewhere else. The area has become too much of a s***hole and too negative for the kids. I am looking for mexican sunflowers to plant along the front fence…those suckers get big! I tried planting a small amount in the flowerbed but nothing came up. Figured if they grew, I could transplant them and have our own colorful wall (except in the winter). I think moving will be best. We pay way too much here anyhow. I would love an older craftsman home! or something in the mountains (as if any of us ski or snowboard LOL!).

I asked about an order of protection for the kids mainly, but it is done at the court and is based on case by case. No guarantees and it may not be what you ask for anyhow. Although it would tick her off to not be able to come to this part of the neighborhood and would serve her and her daughter right.

The women here are strange! THEY rule the house and will disrespect their men at the drop of a dime. They expect them to pay for it all, but treat them worse than they do a mangey stray mutt. Way strange for me!

Anyhow, moving is our next goal. It just isn’t worth sticking around when you are surrounded by people who constantly give you dirty looks or accuse you of things and talk just loud enough so you know its about you. *sigh*