My Mother’s In The Hospital
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October 16, 2007 at 12:53 pm
Hello Family,
Very upsetting night for me. Today my stomach has those stress knots and I have a stress headache. My mother’s 88 years old and she’s been a falling hazzard for three/four years now, not GBS/CIDP related. I was severely damaged by CIDP, am in a wheelchair and am a caregiver to my mother. We don’t know what’s wrong with her, rarely falls during the day, but at night her legs just buckle and won’t support her. They curl, like muscle atrophy would do.Last night she had a bad fall and broke the femur up near the hip. She’s in the hospital and we are waiting to find out when surgery will be done to put a pin in.
If she is able to come home, we are going to have to find a dependable live-in-aide. We have to have someone here at night, otherwise she will have to go to a nursing home. I don’t think people her age heal well from broken bones, she will be confined to bed much more. Even if my heart wants to, I can’t take care of her.
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October 16, 2007 at 1:43 pm
Liz,
I am so sorry for your sad time. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to take care of your mother. I agree, you will need full time care for her at home. Great Grandma Rose was 93 when she broke her hip, and yes, it was a long hard recovery, one that you will need assistance with as we did. Take advantage of the time you have to yourself now to try and worry about yourself so that you are strong when she returns. I will say some prayers tonight for both you and your mother. I wish I knew how to send those big hug pictures you always send! Well, big hugs!
Dawn Kevies mom -
October 16, 2007 at 1:45 pm
Liz> I am sorry to hear about your Mom. We had talked about this before, and I knew you were concerned. Don’t dwell on the unknown but think how much quality time you gave her. That care you gave her allowed her to stay in her home for a longer period of time. You put your life on hold to do things for her. Take care of yourself and things will work out. She needs time to heal and I am sure she will need rehab too. We all know how much hard work that will be and very hard for you to sit back and watch her struggle. Think of this as a break for you to charge your battery and be there for her when she returns. Now we all need you to be careful and stay safe. I hope someone will come check on you each day like you have done for your Mom. You both are in my thoughts and prayers! If you want to chat just let me know and I will call you, we have not done that for awhile. 😮
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October 16, 2007 at 2:03 pm
[B]Liz,
So sorry to hear about Mom. They probably will send her to a nursing rehab after surgery to get rehab. If she can’t come home, just know that you have done your very best to care for her because you have not had it easy coping with your own illness all on your own.
So I will send prayers good thoughts, and vibes your Mother’s way and some big Brandy hugs to you.[/B]
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October 16, 2007 at 2:28 pm
I’m very sorry to hear about your mother. I think getting an aid at night would be a good idea.
I know you are stressed right now but just remember that we are all here pulling for you and for your mom.
Kelly
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October 16, 2007 at 3:01 pm
Liz,
I, too, am so sorry that your mom is in the hospital. I cant even imagine how hard it must be for you to help her when you are struggling as well. I thought I had it bad.As others have said…just know that you have been there for her, done your best and more than many would do…while she is in the hospital she is in good hands. You can rest without worrying she’ll fall. As many told me, get your rest now…while she is away try to take care of yourself. And I know…it’s hard.
My mom is in a nursing home now…a rehab place that was suppose to be temporary. My mom before lung surgery was 67 years young and a fighting, tough, strong woman. Now she doesnt even thrive to walk a few steps.
I dont know anymore if she’ll come home. I didnt listen when you and many others told me to take care of myself. I”m paying for it now.I just want you to know that my thoughts are with you…it’s so hard when our mamas arent well and life gets turned upside down. It’s hard to rest when you are worried…it’s hard to be strong when your rock is broken…but I know you have your faith…and many, many friends here to help you through.
You are a precious soul and I send you a giant hug.
Stacey
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October 16, 2007 at 3:07 pm
Liz,
I am so so sorry to read about your Mom. One thing I have learned from you and others is to take care of yourself right now. Eat right, rest, rest and focus on staying well for you and your Mom. It appears to me that you have been pretty well (no meds)for a few years now. It would be a double tragedy if you were to relapse and become ill.
I think an in home aid is a good idea. It is just time. It will help you to have less stress.
My Mom is 75 and is legally blind and has osteoarthritis in her spine. My Dad is her caregiver but I know there will be a time that I will be. It scares me with my health in limbo what I will do.
My heart goes out to you. From my short time on the forum you sound like a lovely kind lady. You have taken your precious time to respond to my posts.
Giving me advice and encouragement. I wish i was like Dawn Kevies mom i would send you abig bear hug picture if i knew how.
Prayers and Blessings to You And Mom,
Hugs and Frienship from Texas,
Valerie -
October 16, 2007 at 5:11 pm
I am so sorry you are going through a rough time. Know that we are thinking of you and your mother.
Sue
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October 17, 2007 at 5:01 am
When my husband’s grandmother was in a nursing home they let me stay with her for a couple of nights this past June. I just basically moved into the extra bed that was in her room and stayed with her until she passed away. It might seem extreme but the people at this place were really nice and accomodating. I don’t know if I could physically do that now, and maybe you can’t either, but it’s something to consider if she has to go into rehab for awhile.
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October 17, 2007 at 2:06 pm
My Mother Hasn’t Had Surgery Yet. They Are Concerned About Her Heart Being Strong Enough And They Want To Monitor Her Today. If All Is Well, The Surgery Will Be Done Thursday And They Will Put A Rod In. It Was A Bad Break, The Knob On The End Of The Bone That Goes Into The Hip Socket Cracked Off. Doctor Said It Caused Her To Bleed Inside. Even If She’s Able To Bare Weight On The Leg And Walk A Little, I Think She’s Going To Be Terrified To Try.
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October 17, 2007 at 2:27 pm
My mother has had both of her hips replaced, the whole ball/socket/rod contraption. The latest one was this past April and she was out of bed walking on the day after surgery. Of course they encourage you to do that so you lose as little function as possible and my mom is far from normal in her determination and lack of fear. She gets around very well now and you’d never know she had them both replaced. On the flip side, my brother-in-law had one of his hips replaced, refused to get out of bed and do PT and 7 years later he still limps whereas my mother does not. It’s hard, and I know it was somewhat painful for her to do the PT but within a few weeks she no longer had any pain and walks almost normally now.
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October 17, 2007 at 8:38 pm
Liz, I am so sorry for you and your mother. You always lift us up when we are down, now it’s our chance. Both you and your mother will be in my prayers tonight. God be with you.
Peggy (we met at GBS symposium)
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October 17, 2007 at 9:11 pm
Liz, Your Mom and You are in My Prayers and Thoughts. Please get rest yourself. Keep us updated. Big Hugs!!!
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October 18, 2007 at 11:21 pm
Hello family,
Just an update on my mother. She has not had the surgery yet. The doctors thought she had a heart attack while she’s been in the hospital and they don’t think her kidneys are fully functioning. They won’t do the surgery until she is stable and strong enough. They are keeping her pretty well doped up with morphine. She sleeps almost all the time and it’s difficult to rouse her. After the surgery she will go to a nursing home for rehab and if my brother and I can find full time help (a live-in aide), she can come home. My cousin who took such good care of his mother, has advised us that my mother would qualify for hospice care (like his mother had) and medicare covers and they would help us find people who would come in at night. If my mother is able to come home, we must have someone from about 10:00pm to 2:00am. If my brother will listen to me, I need the live-in aide, so that I can take care of myself. -
October 19, 2007 at 7:48 am
Liz,
From what I know about hospice…it’s only for the terminal and usually approved in 6 month increments. It’s basically comfort care. If that isnt the case with your mom, maybe they can do the visiting nurse or other home health agencys. The social worker at the hospital should be able to help you with that.
Where I live we also have a program called Meals on Wheels where volunteers deliver one meal each day to the disabled and elderly. You might inquire about that ?
I know I am scrambling right now b/c they are saying my mom will come home next week b/c of her insurance. She’s not ready. And I cant be there 24/7 again. I’m barely walking lately b/c I am so tired all the time…I visit her every day after work and havent missed a day with her except once since her surgery on Aug 7.
I’m tired. I am so very very tired.I know what you are going thru…Chin up sweet lady, Things will work out…best wishes to you and your mom.
Stacey
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October 20, 2007 at 6:37 pm
Liz ~ know that my prayer thoughts are with you and your mom. What a challenging time for you!
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October 20, 2007 at 8:24 pm
Hello Family,
The news is now not good about my mother. She did have a heart attack while in the hospital and the surgery to repair her leg cannot be done. The doctors told us that even if they had been able to do the surgery, it would give her no quality of life, she would not be able to use the leg. The doctors told us that the pain will become less, but I am afraid to believe this. I am afraid that she will be screaming in agony when the morphine is stopped.We are going to try to care for her at home. We will have to get a live-in-aide to take care of her and we should be able to get hospice care for her, which will include a nurse, as well as the live-in help. In a case like my mothers, where she will now be bedridden, has no quality of life, can never get better and can not take care of herself, hospices will take them.
Please pray for my mother that she will not suffer too much. I think this fall has shortened her life. She loved my father so very much, she wants to go home to heaven to be with him and she needs her mamma and daddy.
I’m crying.
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October 20, 2007 at 11:01 pm
Liz,
I am so sorry for all of your pain. I hope the transition to hospice will be a help to both you and your mother. you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Dawn Kevies mom -
October 21, 2007 at 1:13 am
Liz, I’m sorry to hear such sad news about your Mom. You All are in My Thoughts and Prayers. Stay Strong. Hospice is good care.
Congrats on Your 1000th Post.
Big Hugs!!! -
October 21, 2007 at 4:24 am
Liz,
I am so sorry to read of the seriousness of your mother’s fall. My heart goes out to you.
[QUOTE=codystanley]The doctors told us that the pain will become less, but I am afraid to believe this. I am afraid that she will be screaming in agony when the morphine is stopped.[/QUOTE]
There should be no reason for your mother to be in pain – ask what other meds will be suitable for her pain when/if they stop the morphine (mabe a patch? We used one, can’t remember what it was, for my mom). I hope she can rest comfortably, as I think seeing someone in pain is the hardest thing to deal with.
You have been such a strong, loving support – remember God is with you and your mother, and he will now support you through this difficult turn of events. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers, and pray that you will be provided with a kind and caring aide quickly.
Best Wishes,
cd -
October 21, 2007 at 11:15 am
I am so sorry to hear all that you and your mom are going through. I just prayed fo r the two of you.
The social worker at the hospital should bable to help you get her care. They helped me get a caregiver 5 days a weeks, meals on wheels, medicaid, a new walker, and even certain supplies I was buying are regularly mailed to me ups at no charge to me. I pray you have a good social worker there.
Blu
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October 26, 2007 at 2:24 pm
Surgery On My Mother’s Leg To Put A Rod In Could Not Be Done. Doctor’s Are Doubtful That It Would Be Successful And They Feel The Odds Are Too Much Against Her Surviving The Surgery. The Broken Bone Will Be Left To Heal The Best It Can On It’s Own. Doctors Have Told Us That With Time, The Pain Will Go Away And They Think She’ll Be Able To At Least Stand On It Very Briefly. She’ll Be A Lot More Bed- Ridden Now Though And We Have To Have 24 Hour Seven Day A Week Care For Her.
My Mother Has Her Favorite Teddy Bear With Her And Her Mind Isn’t All That Clear, She Thinks She’s At Home And That I Am In The House With Her. She Told My Brother I Wouldn’t Give Her Her Tylenol. I Have Not Been To The Hospital To See Her, Orders From My Brother To Take Care Of Myself Because She Doesn’t Even Know That I Haven’t Been There. A Foggy Mind Can Be A Blessing!
She Is Being Transferred To A Nursing Home Today, The One Of Our Choice, Thanks To My Brother Who Raged At The Doctor That He’d Better Do It. It’s The Nursing Home Where My Mother’s Family Doctor Is Staffed.
I Am Feeling A Lot Better. I Have Come To Terms With Things Because I Have Realized That Out Of A Traumatic Accident That You Wished Didn’t Happen, Blessings Can Happen. I Can Take Care Of Myself Now. I Can Go To Bed Now Knowing That Someone Is In The House To Take Care Of My Mother. I Think My Mind Now Knows That It Doesn’t Have To Respond To The Medical Alert.
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October 26, 2007 at 7:12 pm
Liz, I am sorry they were not able to repair her hip, but praising God that her own doc will be at the nursing home and that she will be well cared for. Also that you can sleep well at night and take care of yourself.
Bless you both
Blu -
October 26, 2007 at 7:29 pm
Liz,
I am sooo sorry to hear she is not doing well. You ALL will be in my prayers and keep good thoughts for ya that spirits will remain upbeat and recovery a fast one. Glod Bless and keep us posted. Karen
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October 27, 2007 at 1:25 am
Liz
I’m sorry to hear that your mother won’t be able to get the surgery, but they
do know best. I would be grateful that she won’t have to endure that pain.
Maybe, it will heal pretty well…let’s all hope so. Just take care of yourself
right now…rest, sleep late, if necessary, just relax…My prayers are for you both…
Miami Girl
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October 29, 2007 at 10:47 am
Liz, So sorry to hear about your Mom. We will say a prayer for you all. Everything ok here. Abby says to tell you HI.
Cindy
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October 29, 2007 at 8:49 pm
So sorry to hear about your mom. Sounds like she will be getting good care. Take care of yourself, Liz. I’ll say a prayer for you and your mom.
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October 31, 2007 at 6:59 pm
Hello Family,
I hope tears can’t leak through a computer because I am crying. It hurt me so much to see my precious mother in a nursing home. They get her up in a “geri chair” (that’s what they called them when I worked in a VA hospital) and she’s miserable because it hurts her back and her body. She had her hands over her face, the way she does when something is bothering her terribly. Three things now I’ll never forget, her first fall when there was a trail of blood all over the house, the fall that broke her leg and now her misery. As much as it hurts, I know the nurses have to get her up, so I’ll come to terms with that. She will be in the nursing home for anywhere from three months to six months because she needs time to heal and we need to know what her abilities and care will now be. We also need to fix up the house some more and find a good live-in caregiver.I hope I don’t sound like I am whining too much because I know many of you spent months in a nursing home or hospital for rehab, but this is my first time seeing someone I love there. I’ve never been on that end because even from the first day of CIDP, I’ve never been hospitalized.
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October 31, 2007 at 8:38 pm
Liz
Let the tears flow…you need to release all of that stress. I can just feel
what you are going through. It is hard to see her in misery and pain and
there’s nothing you can do to help her. That cuts deep into your soul.Has she had any feedback or to your brother, how her hip is doing? Do they
feel that she will heal pretty much without the surgery?I know you feel helpless, but I’m also concerned about YOU…how are you
feeling physically and are you resting, somewhat?My prayers are with you and of course your mother, as well. Please keep
posting to let us know…you have my email address, feel free to contact me
anytime.With all my care…
Miami Girl
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November 3, 2007 at 10:26 pm
Liz,we want to hear from you, don’t feel you’re whining. Yes, we are family, you can cry. You are in my prayers. God bless you and your mother.
Peggy from the Phoenix symposium
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November 4, 2007 at 2:58 pm
[B][I][COLOR=magenta]Here’s some little friends for your mom & you, Just Remember I’m Pulling for the both of you.[/COLOR][/I][/B]
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[img]http://bestsmileys.com/angles/4.gif[/img] -
November 4, 2007 at 11:02 pm
Liz,
I am thinking of you and your mom during this transitional time. Knowing how determined and strong you are and since you came from her, theres no doubt that your mom will put up a good fight. Rest, ask for lots of help, stay in touch here and be well.
Peace,
Linda
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