My friend needs help
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May 17, 2007 at 9:40 am
[FONT=”Georgia”][/FONT][SIZE=”2″][COLOR=”Red”]:confused: [B][CENTER][/CENTER][/B][/COLOR][/S My very best friend and her husband have been together for 23 years.He came down with this syndrome 20 years ago and was in the hospital for a year. He has alot of nerve damage, but he doesn’t take anything for the pain. He has been able to go on with life. However, it has now come to the point where his business isn’t doing well and, along with that, the GBS has progressed so that his wife has to tie his shoes and button his shirts. He is not in a wheelchair yet but it is only a matter of time. It’s obvious he has become very depressed, but theres no excuse for his behavior of late. The anger is escalating, he is drinking more, and has become abusive (both physical and mental) to my friend, which she dosen’t deserve.
Can he be helped??? Is there any kind of medicine out there or support groups?? My friend is ready to leave him and that would be horrible for him in the longrun, because she takes excellent care of him.
I (and she) would appreciate any advice you can give. We live in Southern California.
Thanks Vetbugs -
May 17, 2007 at 10:56 am
Welcome to our Family! Sounds like several things could be going on. Was he diagnosed with GBS or CIDP? With GBS, he could be having a relapse or a huge residuals flare. With CIDP, if it is the relapsing/remitting kind, he could be in a relapsing state. Also, post traumatic stress could be a contributing factor.
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Quote: “there is no excuse for his behavior of late”. You don’t know that!!!! You have not lived “inside his skin” and trust me, it can be the most miserable/scary place. 😮 [/I]Please get him into the doc asap ~ preferably a neurologist. He needs medical attention [I]now[/I]. The longer you wait the more damage could be happening.
Please give your girlfriend our thanks for caring for her husband all these years. Caregivers have little understanding as to how very important they are to those of us who suffer. It is hard for us to understand the disease process, let alone try to explain it so another can understand 🙁
Our caring caregivers are our heros 🙂
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May 17, 2007 at 2:27 pm
[B]Vetbugs
I know you are finding this difficult for your friend to endure her husband’s illness. Severe chronic pain can make the sweetest, nicest person into a total monster. You have no idea what kind of pain they have to endure. It’s not like a muscle pull where that pain will go away, this is 24/7, 365 days a year pain. That man needs to be on meds for pain and anti-depressants right now, no one should have to go through this kind of pain. As a man he is probably feeling very useless right now that he can’t take care of himself, I know my husband went through the same things, he was angry at the world for having this illness and not being in control of his own body and the things he used to do. So please tell your friend to call his doctor and tell the Dr what is going on. I have to ask, was he physically and emotionally abusive before he had this illness? If he was then she should have left him many years ago. If it’s only now that he’s acting this way then it is the illness causing him to do this. He needs help and so does your friend.
I had to do everything for my husband for the first 3 years, including bathing, feeding and dressing him. The last 3 years of his illness he could dress himself and feed and bathe himself, but there were still things he couldn’t do and the 24/7 pain did not help at all.
Take care and tell your friend to come here and talk to us.
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May 17, 2007 at 2:29 pm
hi vetbugs & welcome,
as said before me he needs to see a gbs neuro immediately. where in so ca do you live? i may be able to suggest one. also he needs neurontin for his pain, going as hi as 5600 mg/day. take care. be well.
gene gbs 8-99
in numbers there is strength -
May 18, 2007 at 5:15 pm
Hi Vetbugs, please tell your friend she needs to get her husband to the dr. pain and alcohol don’t miss well with damaged nerves. the drink can make all things worse. He needs to get the pain under control, limit the alcohol, and possibly get treatment for depression, his wife would need to get things started is my guess. You are a good friend for coming on here and reaching out to get advice for help for both of them. Take care.
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May 19, 2007 at 10:51 am
Your answers to my question were very much appreciated. However, how do you get someone (60 year old stubborn Italian) to go to the doctor ??? Any ideas out there!!!
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May 19, 2007 at 3:33 pm
Hi Vetbugs,
That is a very difficult thing to do. Can she suggest he goes to a Neuro for pain meds to help him. She can tell him about this website and all the great people here who are the only ones who truly understand what he is going through. If he is firmly againist any help, then there is nothing she can do but to help herself and possibly leave him because of the physical and emotional abuse. Does she have any family support who would back her up and take her in? She really needs to take care of herself.
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