Loss Of Interest & Desire

I have seen some other posts by people with similar issues, so I think that this is a common issue. If you do a search for threads, you might come across some info. I know that for me, it takes every ounce of my being to get through the day while feeling crappy, that unfortunately, those things take a back seat. Maybe you should talk with your ob-g about some assistance with this.

The whole world of dating as an adult is so spooky anyway – – –

After 28 years I divorced my abusive, drunk husband (my adult sons encouraged me or I probably wouldn’t have) and my self esteem was in the toilet. I remained totally single, no dating or any interest, for 2 years, and then I dipped my toes in the water. I signed up on a site called Christian Cafe in hopes that most of the people there would have faith in common with me. I corresponded with a number of people, actually dated a couple.
Then I met this wonderful man – – – We have been married 4.5 years, been through job instability (we are both teachers in a district that does not pass bond issues) health – his heart, my GBS, and family issues – my Daddy and both his parents have passed on. I moved to marry him, so my family is 2.5 hours away. But it has been worth it.

Take it slow. Don’t worry about it. The fact that you wrote your post shows that you are starting to think about testing the waters. That in itself is huge. Let a couple friends know that you are thinking about going out – but make it a friends type relationship first. Don’t worry about long term right now. Just having someone, and something, to think about could make you have a little more energy.

Good luck, and never do something if it doesn’t feel right – in this matter iit’s all about you, so you gotta feel good about you first! 🙂

I can’t speak about the dating part of your question because I was married before GBS and am still married (and she was my guardian angel throughout!).

But I can talk about interest in the physical side of a relationship. In my case that dropped lots and still remains less than before GBS (which was Oct 2007). The whole experience in an hospitals and rehab centers of being hooked up to a respirator, on IVs, with catheters, and being totally dependent on others is very de-humanizing. Then the rehab process takes much out of you physically, as others have said. For me there was also the the issue that I didn’t like my new physical self. I was 160 pounds before GBS and after a few weeks I dropped to 120 and was not much more than that when I first went back home. I could not stand to look at myself in a mirror and I thought that everyone must be repulsed looking at me. So the physical side of my relationship was very far from my mind for a long time.

This is another area that can take a long time to recover from after GBS.

I can identify with your lack of interest. When I had GBS the first time, it was fairly mild (that is an oxymoron for GBS). It did not take a toll on my body like it did twenty years later when I got it much worse. I remember telling my doctor that I had no interest or desire…meaning that even looking at Armand Assante did nothing!! It was scary. There was No one on the planet that I found attractive or wanted to be with. This doctor was one of the doctors that Suzanne Somers writes about in her book…(not in the latest one on Cancer) He said that it would return. It did..about a year or two later. MOving to FLorida helped!! We GBS sufferers have gone through a devastation to our body. especially the nerves. I think it hits home more if you use its nickanme “French POLIO.” I actually saw that term in a book. Had I known that during m second bout, I would have been more scared….
Good luck….it will come back…..could it possilby be a medication you are taking?

Carolyn,

I am in my 30’s, but I loooove Armand Assante…I thought I was the only one!!! Too funny….

Franklin,

I totally identify with your feeling about your physical self. I lost 25 lbs and I was borderline by a couple lbs being underweight. I looked like a walking skeleton, not to mention felt terrible. I would cry looking at myself in a mirror at how pale and skinny I looked. I have since gained back about 10 lbs and I feel much better in that regard. It takes such an incredible toll on your body, and you feel betrayed by your body. I can’t say that I am over this yet, but slowly, I hope. So hang in there….

Jessicah,
You made my day! I am amazed that someone your age also finds Armand attractive/sexy……you name it. There is a website that a girl from England had for him and for another actor from the MIddle East…Kumar Bedi….something close to that. I use Armand Assante as a benchmark ….if I don’t find him attractive,something is wrong. Thanks for the chuckle!!
Perhaps Istaroaz needs to Google him or watch one of his movies….I like remedies that have no bad side effects!!

Carolyn, Glad to find another Armand Assante lover….:) It is funny because I don’t find some of my contemporaries attractive like Brad Pitt or Justin Timberlake..they pale in comparison to Armand!

Ok ladies I am going to freak you out, I can never get Kid Rock out of my mind!! He is HOTTT!! If you force me to pick a clean cut guy, it would be Ashton Kutcher, Richard Gere or that totally hot naked guy in the Sex in the City movie. OMG, he could peak anyones interest. But Kid Rock, he gives me chills!!! Plus he is awesome with his support of the troops. OMG, I am going to have to put some Kid Rock on when I go pick up my older son (Kev is home…again) So who is this armand guy

Unfortunately I have to agree with you, people do treat those with disabilities different. I am hopeful that you will find some sort of companionship that will help to heel you!! BTW, thanks alot, you had to mention Kid Rock again, now I am thinking about him all over again!!

Istaroaz, you seem to be cheered up a bit since you started the thread…and that is good. IF you are worrying about how men will view you, that is normal. Most women do that..whether or not they are disabled. We worry about the smallest things…compared to men. Look at Sandra Bullock…she was perfect and Jesse ran around on her.Being perfect does not guarantee that one can keep a man happy. My wonderful therapist who I have had since my mother died and then the GBS…says that many of the people out there are damaged..I am guessing around 85%. So finding the right man like Cathie did is hard. Possible but not probable..in my humble opinion. I recently wrote to someone on line who had his doctorate and read the same books I did…but he had a controlling,narcissistic personality who, within seven days of emailing, was getting angry that I would not follow HIS orders. But his public persona was that he was a loving person whose last girl friend has MS and he carried her around.( Poor thing….she really was under his control.) So the grass may look greener on the other side of the fence, but that may be due to all the manure that is over there!!! ooops..did I say that???!

Carolyn –
You’re a hoot! I always wondered why the grass was greener – – – now I know!

It took a long time for me to find the right man – and I couldn’t be happier. He overlooked my scoliosis (which when I’m dressed isn’t really visable), the fact that I’m 2 inches taller, and my big feet.

I overlooked his very bald head (but he grew the “fringe” area out and had a pony tail! – since cut), he was 2 inches shorter than I, and his feet are smaller than mine.

The point? My sisters and children thought I’d gone mad to be interested in this funny guy, but after they got to know him they understood that we really were a fit.

When we got married he wore pin stripe Converse tennis shoes to match his pin stripe pants – and I didn’t care.

Remember, as Johnny Bench used to say – “Beauty is skin deep, but ugly is to the bone!”

Good luck and keep smiling!

I agree with you ladies…there is someone out there for everyone. I was just talking to my friend today who met her boyfriend of a year on Match.com. I know another couple who met and married through Match.com. Hmmm….maybe there should be like a single GBS/CIDP group…..;)

Dawn, you are cracking me up with Kid Rock….I like this forum thread. It is making me laugh!! 🙂

The dirtier the better! That long hair omg!! Those tight jeans! Thanks alot for bringing it up again!! I would put a poster of him on my bedroom door if I could!:eek:

I think Jessicah had a good idea – we should have a singles group as a forum This horrible illness has been a wake-up call for all of us – what is important in life. It is like we were brought to the edge of a cliff….and hung by our feet over it. An experience you would never willingly sign up for!! It has made us stronger yet more vulnerable. I think there would be less “games” played.

I would like to meet someone like Cesar Millan, The Dog Whisperer, – he is spiritual, into meditation and acupuncture, and has good, balanced energy. I watch his show and I don’t even have a dog.

If this keeps up were going to have to throw some cold water your way! Lol You go girls!

That is funny!!!!! especially coming from a Mallard duck….of course you would suggest throwing water!! LOL