I Miss My Wife !

Terry

My heart aches for your loss…it is a hard time right now for you. Let the
tears flow – there will be a time when you will remember her with such joy
and happiness. The fond memories of her will be there, always, like a little
saying she had, the way she moved, her hair, her way of giving – all of that
will be there and with you forever. The reason why? Because she is with
you, now and forever – she lives within you…she always will.

Terry,

I can imagine it “hurts like Hell” right now…………and will be for a while!!
But, over time, the “hurt” (wound) won’t be so “raw”. Do you know what I mean?? Right now, it is like you have had a part of your body blown off……healing will prevail, at least partially. Hang in there, Bud. 🙂

Per

Terry ~ I am so sorry for the pain. This is the time for grieving. Like Perry said, a part of you has been blown away . . . Tears have a purpose so let them flow. Thank you for letting us know that you hurt, letting us grieve with you. Hugs, hugs, hugs.

I am so glad that you are able to cry about your wife. I find crying to be very therapeutic, as it tends to actually relax my body. I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through, like you my husband has been my soulmate since I was 18, 35 years ago. But I am the one with severe CIDP & the precarious health, so your posts give me the will to keep fighting to remain as helthy as I can be, as I know my husband would be just like you if something did happen to me…

Hello Terry,
It has not been a very long time that you lost your precious Debbie, so you still feel the raw pain and grief. We cannot put a time on when it will get easier because we are all different. You won’t forget her, but it will get easier. It took me three years before I felt the healing when my husband died. TIME HEALS and when you’re able to, you’ll work WITH it and let it happen. Right now, cry WITH us. I think everyone of us who respond to your posts are here for you to talk to.
From my heart,

Terry,
My heart goes out to you. The overwhelming amount of pain you’re experiencing is very obvious in your post. You are definitely in my prayers as I know this is a very difficult time. You mentioned that you’re receiving a lot of support, however, have you had actual grief counseling? Although you have a great support system, I believe grief counseling will supply you with additional tools. I’m not saying choose one over the other, but more assistance to get through this would not hurt. Take care and remember; many are praying for you.

Tina
GBS 1991

[COLOR=red]Terry[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#ff0000][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#ff0000]I don’t know what you’re going through but we are here for ya.[/COLOR]

Terry as I was reading your letter I was praying for you.Let the tears flow as this is part of healing and talk about it as this also is part of healing. Try to remember all the fun things you did together and things you both laughed over. Above all you do your best to think about Terry.Your wife would not want you hurting as you are. she wants you to be happy. Try making slight changes at home. get yourself around people and above all be good to yourself. God still has a need for you and give your pain to him and let him carry you for awhile. You will be ok and know your wifes spirit is with you so you are not alone
May Gods blessings be with you (Steve)

Terry, I so often think about you …….. You were always there for your wife, the ultimate caregiver, I cant imagine how you must feel without her there. She knows how much you miss and love her and even though she is with you in spirit (and looking down on you from that photograph), I know it’s not at all the same as her being there with you. I am so glad you are able to let us know your grief because I know how much our forum family cares for one another and you are in our thoughts and prayers. God Bless!

Terry,
I was just thinking more about how it was with me when my husband died. It took me about a year before I could think about making changes in my life. If you love animals and don’t have a pet, give some thought to getting a dog or cat. My big dog Cody was such a comfort to me. When I was crying she crawl into my lap and she’d put her front legs around me. How soft her fur was to cry into.

Hang in there with us. As we’ve told you, it will get easier.
From my heart,

Terry,
I am so very sorry. My dad has been dead for 12 years and they don’t get any easier. I just try to remember the cute saying he would tell me for example if he came to my house and I was gone, he would leave a note that said “I was here and you were gone, now you are here and I am gone”. I will keep you in my prayers. I know it has to be hard. I have a husband like you and thank God for him everyday.:(

Terry, Don’t be sorry for saying how you feel. We are Family, We are here for You. I wish I could make you feel better, Debbie wouldn’t want you to feel such sorrow. Have You been able to Celebrate Your Life Together? In your own way, style, I’m sure Debbie will be there celebrating with You. Maybe get together with Your Girls and just talk about the old times, people, places and things that made up the fabric of Your Life as a couple. Maybe instead of trying to stop yourself from thinking about Your Angel, you might think about her and start a journal for your thoughts. The recovery process for you is very much like our recovery, slow and easy does it. One baby step at a time, and before you know it you’ll be walking mile after mile. Embrace your memories. Big Hugs to You and Your Family.

Terry, nothing I can say can ease your pain. I have never known or lost a love of the kind you and Debbie had. But I do know that my heart cries for you in your sorrow. I lost a niece and nephew and the pain was the worse I ever felt. Time has softened that pain. It still hurts, I still miss them, but I can think of them in memory, and not fall apart now. Time, that is the only thing I know of that will ease your pain.
Let the tears flow, in the shower if need be, they are a release and God gave them to us for a reason.
In time, perhaps you can make a scrapbook. Nothing fancy, just something between you and Debbie to hold the memories you cherish. Little thoughts that come your way, a photo of a blessed moment together.
Bless you Terry

Blu

I wish so much that there was something I could say or do to take away your pain. I am so very sorry you are going thru this.

I wish you the best.

Stacey

I am so sorry for your loss. There are no words to comfort you right now. I pray tomorrow is a little better than today.

~Gracie
author of “Joy in the Morning”
[url]www.joyinthemorningbook.com[/url]
Daughter recovering from GBS from 2005 at age 4.

terry,
I think of you and Debbie so often since you shared of her death. I was just leafing through one of my favorite books that I often reference when dealing with death and it talks about doing something for your loved one like fulfilling one of her wishes or aspirations in some way like sponsering in her name a project she held particularly dear or giving something of hers to someone she loved. This time is meant for you and her. To honor her and to simply be with your grief in all its pain and glory. Keep talking, crying and remembering. I hope this helps.
Linda

Thinking of you at this hard time.

[B]Terry, what you are going through is so very normal in the grieving process
All of us that have lost our spouse’s know exactly what you are feeling and I know it’s not easy. You will also have physical symtoms too, like pounding in your chest, just as if your heart was actually breaking in half, shortness of breath, aches and pains for no reason at all except it’s the body grieving on a physical level. Crying is okay, it’s what you need to do and it will subside after awhile, when it will happen for you, I can’t answer that.It took a year for me to stop the uncontrollable crying. I still have my moments, but not as intense now.

Terry trust me that you will be able to think of Debbie without crying one day.
Do you trust me enough to believe me? I hope so, we as caregivers have gone through alot taking care of the ones we loved so very much and to have them taken from us without warning was so very painful. I was actually so angry at God for the longest time too, but I’m not anymore.

[/B]

I can not imagine what you are going through, but you are in my thoughts and prayers Terry.