a vent and an update

    • Anonymous
      April 2, 2010 at 10:36 am

      Hi everyone.

      I am still waiting for the paperwork to process with the MDA and get an appt with a new Dr. The lady I was working with was out of town for most of the week so that’s been part of the delay.
      I am doing about the same really…late for work every day by at least an hour b/c of fatigue. Fatigue is incredible right now. I’d love to sleep more..I just cant. I have responsibilities and I cant.

      My husband is still on crutches and waiting to see a specialist this month. He got a staff infection from a knee scope procedure and spent 22 days in the hospital and 8 weeks on iv antibiotics. He wont get better until they do a knee replacement…so, we’ll see what the specialist says. He is high risk for infection from here on so it’s going to be scarey. And, he used quite a bit of his FMLA to cover his job with all of this so we worry if he has the replacement before the first of the year , he could lose his job. And, he has a very good job that we dont want to lose ! We’ve lost enough already.

      With him still at only about 50 percent, life is harder on me. I do all the housework now…he can drive, so he takes Connor to school and that helps.
      But, with the weather getting nicer, I’m thinkin about all the yard work I’m gonna have to do…and mow. We have a riding mower…so, maybe I can do it…but we have a huge lawn and I’ll need to learn to edge and all the stuff that comes with it. I love gardening…I’ve just never mowed.

      I dont complain to him b/c he feels bad enough. I guess we could hire someone to do the lawn but it’s very expensive and during the summer, with no school, we pay alot more in daycare. I dunno what to do…book a flight and run away ?

      We’ve had to postpone our vacation in June b/c hubby just wont be able to enjoy . I’m really down and trying to keep an upbeat attitude. I just hate having nothing to look forward to and that everyday is another day that I have way more than I can do, TO do. Asking for help, not an option. I have one sister here who offers but doesnt follow thru and I’m tired of being let down.

      Just needed to vent…I’ll be ok. This is a just a bad few chapters of our life that we will get thru, right ?

      Connor has been playing basketball every day b/c we got his new fancy hoop up. Finally no snow ! He loves it !!! Tomorrow, he starts baseball practice. I wish you guys could meet him…hear him talk, enjoy his compassion for life.
      I worry about him daily…but, in the meantime, I enjoy watching him be a 7 yr old little boy. It’s what I’ve got to get me thru this extremely tough time. And, with that, I AM blessed.

      thank you friends,

      Happy Easter and Spring, everyone…


    • Anonymous
      April 2, 2010 at 2:05 pm

      Happy Easter to you and your family!!! I know things are really tough right now, but you will get through this and be stronger for it. Take care.

    • Anonymous
      April 2, 2010 at 2:53 pm


      Hope you feel better after venting. You and your husband will get through your rough times.
      Some roads are rougher and take longer to travel.

      Happy Easter to you and your family


    • April 2, 2010 at 3:33 pm

      Happy Easter Stacey and Family!
      If anyone can make it through these very tough times you and Connor and your husband are going through right now, I know you are the ones to do it.
      You have my prayers as well as the support of this whole site with blessings, positive energy and all kinds of good healing thoughts headed your way.
      I wonder if you could ask a church, a high school or a junior high to find someone to help with even just a part of your yard work.
      There must be some affordable help somewhere in the Heartland.
      Please know that there are forces heavenly and otherwise who are going to help ease your burdens and I know you will always do what you need to do to help you and your family feel better and stronger in the near future.
      My prayer for you and yours: Please heal Stacey and her family and send a trillion or more blessing her way if need be. She is moving forward everyday so just give her a little push.

    • Anonymous
      April 2, 2010 at 8:53 pm

      What you are going thru is like dropping buttered bread….which side does it fall on and does it matter? [For me? it means…do I have to clean it up?]
      You will get thru this because you ARE strong! Both in mind and in spirit, I know that.
      But, don’t EVER begin to think that THIS is too much to bear? Because something else can and will happen…. Just Deal with the what is now, and wrestle with the might be’s tomorrow! Promise me? The sun always rises and with that new sun? There mite just be a solution out there… Keep that hope and faith and it mite give you even more strength than you thot you had!
      Know too, that Connor is a happy boy because of your fighting. Take a look around? It’s spring and recharge on the family and the new season to fill your heart with new life and strengths. Even little small simple things can be a miracle if you look at them all in the right perspective!
      Hope and heart for sure!

    • April 2, 2010 at 9:51 pm

      Hi Stacey,
      I know you enjoy vacationing with the family, but since your husband is not doing well, perhaps you could put this years vacation money towards a monthly maid and lawn service. The energy and time you save might be more valuable then the week to ten days on vacation. The extra time you gain with the help would leave time to do other things with your family. There are tons of lawncare companies willing to take less than usual with so many people dropping services. We too have a large lawn, almost an acre, our neighbors is the same size. Last year they payed $65 a cut this year they bargained down to $35. Edging and weed wacking a large yard is not easy, my feet kill, body aches, your ears get trashed from the loud sound. My shoulders are trashed from pulling the starts on the equipment not to mention lifting that syuipid weed wacker and blower everywhere. I can’t even use my favorite hooker bags in the summer (I have purse issues) because there is so much pain in my shoulders. I hope you give a lawn service serious thought, a cleaning service might be a good idea too! Vacation time will always be there!!

    • Anonymous
      April 3, 2010 at 6:16 am

      Mowing with a riding mower is not that hard – assuming you have a little bit of arm strength to turn the mower and can sit upright for the time it takes to mow. I can do about 1 of the 3 acres but our lawn is long so there is little turning, just sit there, drink my lemonade and pretend I’m driving around a golf course.

      Instead of edging, plant wildflowers or ornamental grass – you can buy seeds in bulk in boxes at Walmart. My cheating way of getting straight lines is to grab a roll of toilet paper and some kind of water soluble glue… run the toilet paper along the line you want flowers – run the glue along the toilet paper – run the seeds along the glue and fold over the toilet paper and cover lightly with dirt. The toilet paper and glue will dissolve with water but not until the seeds have sprouted and are beyond the reach of greedy birds. One year I planted Impatients and Mondo grass – now I pick the seeds every year and never have to worry about buying them again.

      Last year the local boy scouts were selling mulch – for $10 extra they would deliver it to your house and spread it around for you. If you have a chapter close by this seems like the kind of thing they would help you out with, especially if you “make a small donation”. If not as an entity they may know of particular boy scouts who would be interested in helping out. They do need community service hours, as do most high school students now. I’m not slighting the girl scouts, we just don’t have any nearby.

      And I am a great one for bartering – I bake for people in exchange for them helping me out when I need it. In exchange for a friend driving me 40 miles to an appointment I filled her tank and baked her Mom’s 90th birthday cake. There are probably things you can do that others don’t have the time or skill to do – see what you can do to barter for the things they can do that you cannot. It’s a short term thing, you don’t have to set up a webpage and call the IRS… it’s just a simple exchange of kindness. And by offering something in exchange you are more likely to actually ask for help when you need it. Surprisingly I see bartering ads in my local newspaper more and more often now… “will haul your junk in exchange for firewood” “will babysit in exchange for home cooked meals” and so on. I’ve traded off plenty of home cooked meals for little things being done around the house that never seem to get done by themselves. Yesterday I made 72 “colorful” cupcakes half of which are going to my family, the other half to the pre-teen who will be cleaning out my dog pen.

      And I do understand what you mean about not having anything to look forward to like your vacation. I think everybody needs to have something to look forward to, a goal, or multiple goals, to feel like they are moving forward in life instead of just spinning their wheels. I hope my Dad never reads this but it’s a fairly predictable routine with him… he is quite happy and cheerful when planning a visit to his kids even if it’s 11 months away. Within days of a visit being over he is depressed, morose and grouchy until I offer up another window for a visit then he is happy, cheerful and bugging me with emails again. It’s natural so don’t beat yourself up about it – just find something attainable you can set as your next goal – make it something you can really do like hit up a movie or a day trip somewhere until you are more free to plan a big trip. I like Dawn’s idea of redirecting your vacation money – that’s pretty much what we do here, we pretend this is our vacation home and that’s where our vacation money goes. 🙂

      You will get through this. Take it one step at a time. And bake colorful cupcakes… its more fun and it freaks people out. 😀