I was virtually paralyzed or totally dysfunctional from March 2002 until the summer of 2004, still left with a lot of residuals. Then hubbie had back sugeries in the summer of 2005 & the beginning of 2006 (very painful time & back still goes out a lot on him.) When we tried before his back sugeries, my legs would go numb & I would be sooo exhausted.
We have been married 36 years now & find that a lot of kissing, hand holding, & cuddling in bed goes a long way. There are so many ways to express love & unite the bodies. But I guess I would feel differently if I were younger, just turned 57 & find marriage is about so much more than sex…
Changed my mind after reading Elmo’s post, maybe I will throw in my 2 cents on sex. I think he brought up some very valid points about aging. I have numerous girlfriends in my age group (I am now 56) who virtually gave up sex after they had their children, just lost interest. I was nearly 49when I came down with CIDP, working full-time, cleaning a 4 story home, raising 3 high school & college age children, etc. In other words, sex was not the number one priority in my life. Cuddling, hugging, or any kind of closeness became much more important.
I was hit hard & hit fast with CIDP & for 3 years sex was not even a consideration, I was that sick. In the meantime, my husband has had 2 back surgeries & his back “goes out” a lot, like right now. That is not important to us, we find so many ways to keep our love alive. I think the movies lead us into false ideas on sex, in the violent ways it is portrayed. I think many men in their 50s do suffer from ED; if the act is that important in a marriage, then Viagra is probably not a bad idea. Most importantly, each partner needs to speak up on this particular subject.
BTW my son has used hand controls since he was 16 & we live in northern MN, lots of snow, ice & -30 temps. They are awesome, he couldn’t work full-time without them. I have just enough left in my feet not to need them, but would not hesitate if I did.