Pretending Also

September 26, 2011 at 11:03 am

I actually believe that it helps to pretend that everything is ok. My friends have been wonderful. I am still up and going but will often not be able to walk well. We just make adjustments to what we are doing. I do get depressed right before and during the IVIG treatments. Mine have been shortened from 5 days to 2. That has helped. Also recently being told that they seem to be workings is great news. [QUOTE=mrsjmanning]I am very positive. Well, I appear to be more positive than I really am. I hide it all. I hide the fact that I’m too tired to do ANYTHING, I hide when I hurt, I hide when I want to cry. I suck it up and tell myself that I’m okay … clearly, I’m not okay.

My neurologist has told my husband that he doesn’t think I understand the severity of what is going on with me. I over do it more often than I should and I don’t rest as much as I should because I haven’t accepted this. I feel myself slowly breaking down. My husband is my biggest supporter and provides me with the greatest care.

How did you accept this? Are there anyways to make it easier? Maybe I need to be scared into reality… I don’t know. But I can’t keep pretending like I’m okay because all I’m doing is making myself worse. I’ve adapted to my wheelchair and my walker, I got used to be being “sick” since I went downhill for 8 months. How did YOU accept this? How do I accept this?[/QUOTE]