I hear but don’t listen

March 31, 2007 at 10:33 pm

I’m really feeling like this is in me and here to stay. I have read so many posts from people that have been in the shape I’m in for many years. For some stupid reason I thought I’d be different , I was going to beat this and by working harder to beat it was the way. I have been feeling pretty good for about a week and did several things I wasn’t able to do in the past few months. I was picking up the gym activites , the yard work, house work….and then as most of you know, it caught up with me. I have felt like the walking dead today and even the slightest activity almost makes me pass out or feel like my legs are going to collapse. I helped put fresh sheets on the bed a few minuites ago and almost couldn’t put my pillow in it’s case. We are having my birthday supper tomorrow night and I’m supposed to cook fajitas , I hope there is enough energy to do this without being a party pooper. I’m getting a IVIG Monday and I hope it helps. I’ve heard to take it easy and read that over and over. I have a very dear friend on this forum that I should have payed more attention to. If I had maybe this wouldn’t be hitting me so hard. My friend has residuals and they are really tough, it hurts so bad to know this and not be able to help especially when I feel so good. Then the very next day I feel the same way as my friend. I’m a infant in this stage and not smart enough to pay attention when the experienced ones are trying to teach me even if they don’t know they are teaching. It reminds me of when I was growing up and not listening to my parents and now I see they were right and only telling me for my own good. I want to listen and absorb instead of just hearing so bad. Oh well what will be will be! God grant me the serinity to accept the things I can not change , the courage to change the things I can , the wisdom to know the difference.