hope I didn’t vent too much

June 13, 2007 at 12:08 am

I want to apologize for earlier. What I posted earlier was a little more unfiltered than I am used to writing. But believe me I have really REALLY read what others have posted here. I have perspective and faith to sustain me. There are others here who definitely have traveled their road longer than I have traveled mine. In addition, I have seen things on my road that make my journey my own. For me, if the problem is a little one I can handle why worry, and if it is a big one that God can handle then why worry. Therefore, no need to worry. I approach everything that way. At the time I wrote, my headache from the spinal tap made it hard to express that side of myself clearly. I ended up venting only the bad side of my feelings. I vented. I am not really all that stressed out. Just had a bad moment that coincided with sitting at the keyboard. OOPS.

As for the medical side of things, here are the facts. Of course, if it is still CIDP, then the MRI’s would be fine. My doc and I discussed that. And my last IVIG was in May and could have worn off, we discussed that. His questions are due to the fact that I presented almost classically with CIDP in April, and now to his eyes, I present quite differently. He thinks I may not have it, but did not rule out returning to that diagnosis. Certain things are showing up as red herrings to his perception and he wants to pursue all avenues for the sake of clarifying the source of all my symptoms should some of them be separate from CIDP or be some other disease entirely. By digging in to my past, we see problems going back 8 years that could not be explained until the most recent post viral triggered episode of January led to CIDP. So, whatever they end up finding, it may have begun years ago. I just learned to accept those things at the time they happened and didn’t associate them directly with the newer episodes. But whatever. It is what it is. And whatever it is that doctors know, they don’t know everything if they don’t know God.

More than I intended to write, but I can’t sleep and really really wanted to apologize for coming off too depressed earlier. That’s not me. That’s not who I am at all. Thanks for being here.