Yesterday I lost my Wife Debra !

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 12:57 am

      I just wanted to convey this to everyone here, This is the sadest time of my life, my wife Debbie passed away yesterday morning I feel like I’m totally lost without Debbie. Her hospital bed is right beside my computer, everytime I look at it I get I just break down & start crying. I think about all the challenges I’ve had to deal with in the last 7 yrs, there were many. I’m thankful that Debbie passed away peacefully. She got sick on Tuesday I finally got her cleaned up & gave her some phernergan. She did a lot of sleeping after that, she slept all day on Wednesday. Yesterday morning she was alert & I thought she was getting better, last night when I got home from work. She told me she couldn’t move her arms, I thought the GBS was setting back in on her. I had to keep moving her trying to make her comfortable, this went on all night. So this morning she said she was have very extreme pain, I gave her the morning medicine. A little later she seemed to have fallen asleep, I called the EMS to take her to the hospital. When they arrived they couldn’t find a heat beat & found a very weak pulse. The EMT tried to resucitate her, & they had another ambulance in route because this one had a device the first one didn’t have. They tried & tried but it was just unsuccessful, so I am sitting now thinking about everything. I ‘m just so confused right now I can’t even think clearly, we would have been married 30yrs this November 19th. I just don’t know how I’m going to deal with it on our anniversary. Right now I’m just in a state of total confusion.

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 1:18 am

      I am so sorry to hear this…my prayers go out to you and your family at
      this time of need.

      She is in God’s hands and will be taken good care of…

      Again, my sympathies to you and your family.

      Miami Girl

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 1:20 am

      I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling.
      Just know that we care.

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 2:40 am

      I am so so sorry for your pain. There will never be enough words to comfort you. Please know that you are not alone and that you can get whatever solace you need from telling us about your pain. It sounds as if you were an incredible source of care and comfort for your wife and you will be eternally graced with the good fortune you aquired from what you gave to her in this life. And with what I am sure she gave you. This is not going to be easy but I hope you can get comfort as you go through this difficult and mind boggling life altering change. With much empathy,
      Linda

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 5:29 am

      Please be assured all of us are with you in thoughts and wish you much strength. Keep well, very best regards
      Dutch girl

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 6:08 am

      Please know that you’re in our thoughts and prayers. Stay in touch with us and let us know how you are.

      Deb
      London

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 7:02 am

      Please know Terry I am thinking of you in this trying time. I am speechless. I don’t know what to say. But she is in heaven looking down on you and thinking how such a good husband you were to her. She died peacefully knowing you were right beside her.

      Sue

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 7:58 am

      WHat?? I Can’t believe this Terry!!!! I am soooooooooooo sorry. You have been such a great caregiver for your wife. Of course you are in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless you and your wife.

      Sincerely,

      Perry

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 8:49 am

      Terry, You have provide more than care for your wife during the past 7 years. You have given your all. Please accept my heart felt condolances. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 9:18 am

      Terry,
      I am so very sorry to hear this. When I read that, my thoughts were OHHHHHH
      he loved her so much. You will be in our prayers, please know that if you need a support group now, we are here, we are many strong shoulders to cry on. During a quiet time, just close your eyes and feel the hugs and comfort.

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 10:04 am

      You are in my thoughts & prayers.
      I am so sorry.

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 11:16 am

      Terry My Dear Friend,

      My heart goes out to you at this time of saddness. I am truly sorry about Debbie. Terry,you and I have given it our all and sometimes it just isn’t enough and God calls them home because he knows their bodies have had enough. Debbie fought so bravely, knowing that you “her love” were by her side every step of the way.

      There really aren’t any words that can truly take away the pain that you are going through, I know first hand. But I will be here for you when you need to talk like we have done in the past.

      All My Love and Hugs for you and lots of Prayers for Debbie.

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 11:34 am

      Terry,

      I am at a loss for words. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. If you ever need anything, we are all here for you. Take care of yourself.

      Jerimy

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 11:53 am

      Dearest Terry!

      I’m sitting staring at a blank screen totally confused, totally speechless!! I am so very very sorry for your devastating loss, my heart is breaking for you. I will hold you close in my prayers, and will be thinking of you, your children and grandbabies during this difficult time.

      ………………….. ๐Ÿ™

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 12:54 pm

      Terry I am so sorry …my deapest sympathies to you and all the family .

      God Bless

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 1:31 pm

      I’m sorry to read this.

      I hope that you get the strength that you need to get through this horribly tough time.

      Kelly

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 2:32 pm

      Terry you have our respect as a care giver and all that you have done for this wonderful person. She will rest in peace now and will be in your hearts forever. I hope this helps in a little way to let you know how much this whole group loves our caregivers that keep us glued together. Thank you so much for your posts that helped us know thru this online group just how wonderful your lives together was. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 3:22 pm

      My family will be thinking of you, your wife and family in our prayers tonight.

      Love, Lori

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 4:23 pm

      [COLOR=red]Terry[/COLOR]
      [COLOR=red][/COLOR]
      [COLOR=red]OMG! I just found this post and Andrea and I are so very sorry for your loss. ๐Ÿ™ We are thinking of ya.[/COLOR]
      [COLOR=#ff0000][/COLOR]
      [COLOR=#ff0000]Dave and Andrea S.[/COLOR]

    • July 28, 2007 at 5:17 pm

      I am very sorry for your loss and will pray that God gives you stregnth to get through this awful time.

      Dawn Kevies mom ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 6:18 pm

      The most heartfelt condolances go all the way from Norway through cyber-space to you at this sad moment in your life. Mentioning how your dear wife’s sick-bed was just beside your computer said so much, it brought tears to my eyes.

      “Don’t be sad about the fact that she died, but happy about the fact that she lived”:)

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 7:26 pm

      Terry, so sorry for your loss. I know that you were a great caregiver and she appreciated it lots. I will definely keep you and your family in my prayers.

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 7:32 pm

      Terry,
      I pray that the Lord will give you and your family the strength to make it through this time of sorry and grief. Debbie is now at peace with the Lord.

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 8:55 pm

      Terry, I am so sorry for your loss. 30 years together is a long time. I wish you and your family all the strength during this difficult and painful time.

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 10:40 pm

      Terry, I am Soo sorry for Your Loss. I feel as if I have known You 2 for many years. Just know You have a Big Family to give You All the support You need, just holler when You need to talk. Big Hugs! You and Your Family are in My Thoughts and Prayers.

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 10:55 pm

      your best friend, and soul mate. But, know that she was not in pain and went, probably in a way she would have wanted. WITH YOU BESIDE HER.
      My heart goes out to you, and I am crying now with you for your loss.

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 11:35 pm

      Terry, i’m so sorry for your loss. i’ll keep you and your family in my prayers. always, barbara

    • Anonymous
      July 28, 2007 at 11:40 pm

      I Am So Sorry That You And Debra Parted Ways For Now, Look At On The Bright Side Of Things Shes In A Much Better Place Now W/o Suffering From Gbs. After All That History YOU GUYS HAVE IS WHAT KEEPS HER ALIVE IN YOUR HEART HERE ON EARTH. I Am Sure You Guys Will See Each Other Again In Heaven.

      Once Again I Am Sorry For Your Loss & May God Bless You & Your Family.

    • Anonymous
      July 29, 2007 at 12:07 am

      Terry, I am yet another person at a total loss as to what to say to you. I am so sorry and you are in my thoughts and prayers. I can’t imagine what a difficult time this is for you after all you have been through. Try somehow to be comforted by the 30 years you’ve had- that’s wonderful. She felt your love all those years, especially these past 7 years. You must have been such a source of calm and love and peace and happiness in her life as she went through GBS. I’m sending you big hugs.
      Jenn

    • Anonymous
      July 29, 2007 at 4:28 pm

      Terry,

      More prayers coming to you from my way. Remember, we are there for you. Please keep in touch alot!!!

    • Anonymous
      July 29, 2007 at 8:32 pm

      My deepest sympathy for your loss. I hope you will find comfort in your memories of devotion to each other. May God comfort you and keep you close to him during these difficult times.

      cd

    • Anonymous
      July 30, 2007 at 2:29 am

      Terry,

      I don’t know you but please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers. You will get through somehow. Just remember to keep coming back here whenever you need anything.

      peace,
      sylvia

    • Anonymous
      July 30, 2007 at 4:54 pm

      I am so, so , sorrry for your loss. Yoou and your family woll alwys be in my prayerss and thoughts. God Bless! xoxxxoxo Roxie

    • Anonymous
      July 31, 2007 at 12:14 pm

      Sorry to hear of your loss. You were such a good caregiver to her.

    • Anonymous
      July 31, 2007 at 10:54 pm

      Dear Terry, What a beautiful, blessed way to leave a devoted, loving husband. She is now at peace and wants you to be also. God be with you and your family.

      Peggy

    • Anonymous
      August 1, 2007 at 12:34 pm

      Yesterday I had a very difficult time in saying goodbye to Debbie, my daughter Mary Ann had a very hard time at Debbie’s service. My grand daughter Brittany broke down at the service & cryed so much, they had to take her to the nursery.

      As for me I chose 3 songs that were Debbie’s Favorites, they were Lean On Me, by Bill Withers, I Can Only Imagine, by Mercy Me, & I Hope You Dance, by Lee Ann Womack. The last one was the one that really upset me, Debbie loved all those songs but I think the last one her favorite. I just broke down & cried, then when the time came to say my final goodbye to her. I just about totally broke down, I finally managed to give her a final goodbye kiss & tell her I loved her.

      I did manage to drive to the cemetery following the hearse & was someway able to make it through the graveside service. Debbie’s final resting place is in a church cemetery about 3 miles from where I live, so I can go there as often as I want. I guess I was missing her so I drove back to the cemetery, late yesterday everything looked ok so I feeling somewhat better. I know she’s finally at peace & she doesn’t have to suffer anymore pain.

      Everyone just cherish the time you have on this earth, with your mate. Because it can be taken away in the blink of an eye. Thank You Everyone for your thoughts & words of encouragement, I truly appreciate it.
      Terry

    • Anonymous
      August 1, 2007 at 1:11 pm

      Terry,

      What wonderful songs you chose! I love them all, “I Can Only Imagine” is my favorite of favorites.
      Once again, I’m so sorry that you, the kids and grandkids are having to deal with the loss of Debbie.
      Please keep on posting to let us know how you are doing, and also for some support. Thinking and praying for you.

    • Anonymous
      August 1, 2007 at 5:37 pm

      Terry,
      I just wanted you to know that my thoughts and prayers were with you on the day that you said “so long” to Debbie. I was telling you we (your support family) are with you too. And it’s not good-bye, it is “so long” because you will one day be with her again. She is at peace now, she doesn’t have to suffer anymore.

      For you Terry, ONE DAY AT A TIME sweet Jesus, Lord teach me to take one day at a time. If you work WITH the grief and not AGAINST it, it becomes bearable and you’ll be able to move forward. You can talk to her, her spirit can hear you.
      From my heart,

    • Anonymous
      August 4, 2007 at 12:44 pm

      Terry,

      I’m so sorry to hear about your beautiful wife. I couldn’t make it through your second post because I was reading it to Ben and started crying. I didn’t want my own sweetie to hear me crying. I know as a caregiver myself and coming so close to losing Ben, there have been so many days and nights when he’s been sleeping, and I’m sitting up on one elbow watching his chest rise and fall, making sure he’s still breathing. I love my sweetie so much, and I don’t know what I’d do if I lost him. I would only hope to be as stong as you because you are very strong. I’m so glad Debbie is at peace, and I’m so very glad you can find comfort in knowing that and in visiting her grave site. Thirty years is a long time, but it’s not neary long enough when you lose such a loved person in your life.

      Please continue to keep us informed on how you’re doing, and when you feel up to it, I’d be interested in knowing if her death was related to GBS, but only when you feel like you’re ready to talk about it.

      God bless you and Debbie.

      Love,

      Shannon

    • Anonymous
      August 4, 2007 at 11:50 pm

      [FONT=Century Gothic]Well it’s been 8 days since I lost Debbie & it’s so hard to deal with, I just get upset at times & start crying. I do have a photo of her that was taken when she was 18, sitting on a shelf above the computer. I can look at it & see her smile, that alone helps I did try to post that photo on here. But for some reason the only thing that shows is a red x, anyway I’ve been to the cemetery several times this wk, that to makes me feel somewhat better. The best thing I did do was had her final resting place at a church cemetery 3 miles from where I live. I can go there as much as I feel the need. I’m just trying to face everything now the best way I can, I did run into a lady today I know at a local store. She lost her husband 8 yrs ago & she told me it still hurts her after all that time. She said the pain of losing him has eased off, but at times it is still hard for her to deal with. She just hoped for things to get better for me, maybe one day it will. But this is for sure my love for Debbie is everlasting & It will be there till I leave this world. Don’t ever take anything for granted, because you will never truly find out just how much you love your mate till their gone. Shannon make the best of everyday with your husband, that’s the one thing I can tell you. [/FONT]

    • Anonymous
      August 5, 2007 at 1:48 am

      Terry,

      Just like Shan said…..I also started crying when I read your post. What a horrible experience this must be for you. But, you did everything you could. I guess it was just her “time”. Please continue to be strong and God bless you my man.

      Per

    • Anonymous
      August 5, 2007 at 7:17 am

      Hi Terry I hope you don’t mind if I post the picture for you

      [IMG]http://home.cogeco.ca/~mashby/Monique/pictures.index/Debra%20Bentley3.jpg[/IMG]

    • Anonymous
      August 5, 2007 at 10:27 am

      What a beautiflul lady! How lucky you are to have loved someone so deeply, and how blessed she was to have you. I admire your strength, it is a wonderful example for us all. You will be in my thoughts and prayers daily.

    • Anonymous
      August 5, 2007 at 2:17 pm

      Terry, What a Beautiful Lady! I bet You have sooo many Wonderful Memories of Her. She is with You Everyday, Everywhere, it’s Her Turn to Care for You, as You were such a Great Care Giver To Her. Take Care, Hugs!!!:)

    • Anonymous
      August 6, 2007 at 3:11 am

      Yeah, she looks like an “Angel” already!!!:)

      Per

    • Anonymous
      August 6, 2007 at 7:59 am

      I am so truly sorry for your loss.

      Blessings,
      Stacey

    • Anonymous
      August 6, 2007 at 11:50 am

      [B]Hi Sue,

      I am so glad you posted Debbie’s picture. I had asked Terry to do it and then saw he had a problem doing so.

      She was an amazingly, beautiful woman, inside as well as outside.[/B]

    • Anonymous
      August 6, 2007 at 12:02 pm

      Terry,
      Thank you for sharing Debbie with us and showing us what love looks like. Seeing her picture shows why you are so in love and why your pain is so deep. I hope it helps to stay in touch here. It certainly helps me to hear from you. I am thinking of you.
      Linda

    • Anonymous
      August 6, 2007 at 12:50 pm

      Your welcome Donna.
      I thought the picture was so beautiful the world should see it.

      Sue

    • Anonymous
      August 6, 2007 at 9:34 pm

      Dear Terry

      I am really sorry for the irreparable loss. I know it is not easy to forget the memories of past 30 years. You definitely had a beautiful & loving life partner.

      God may give you strength to bear and come up in the life once again.

      Please take care of yourself in these sad moments.

    • Anonymous
      August 6, 2007 at 10:26 pm

      Well another day has gone by, I’m just doing ok I guess. My days are filled with a big empty spot here, but I do have that photo of Debbie to look at each & every day. Her smile always seems to make me feel better, I went to Debbie’s moms house yesterday. I decided to take her Debbie’s power scooter to use, she fell a few wks back & broke her right pelvis. She is still having a lot of problems, yesterday she was able to only get up from the chair she was sitting in for a very short while. She was in a lot of pain, Debbie’s step dad has been helping her alot, if she can manage to get in the seat on that power scooter. It is small enough for her to be able to get through her house with it. So she won’t have to stay in the recliner she’s been sitting & sleeping in, I do also have a power lift chair here. But I don’t have any way to get it to her. I know that it would help her in getting up, maybe someone will come pick it up for me & take it to her. But all in all Sunday was not such a bad day, I did make my stop at the cemetery on the way home. To tell Debbie I love her, so for now I’m doing ok I guess, Thanks to everyone for your thoughts on Debbie’s photo. That was 2 months after we were married, she was 18 & everyone kept riding me out. Most everyone thought she was 14 or 15, they just thought she looked way too young.

    • Anonymous
      August 6, 2007 at 11:30 pm

      Hello Terry,
      I hope you’ll keep coming back to us and talk to us the way you are doing now. It will get easier for you, but we know that you won’t ever forget Debbie.
      My husband died from cancer twenty-two years ago. I still remember what he looks like. I remember his voice. I remember the way he walked. I can hear the way he whistled a tune. And I remember the way he said his pet nick-name for me, but I won’t say what it was, only that it was Hungarian. Believe us when we tell you, it will get easier as long as you let it happen.
      From my heart,

    • Anonymous
      August 10, 2007 at 9:59 pm

      [FONT=”Century Gothic”] Well I used to say Hooray everytime the wknd came, but now I just don’t want to think about it. It’s been 2 wks today since Debbie’s passing & the wknds now just don’t have the same meaning, I don’t know how long this feeling is going to stay with me. I do have better days & then I have some that aren’t so good, I just miss my wife. I did stop at the cemetery today & tell Debbie that I love her & Miss her very much. Well I hope everyone has a good wknd.
      [/FONT]

    • Anonymous
      August 11, 2007 at 3:16 pm

      Terry,

      I can’t even begin to imagine how you’re feeling right now. I know I’d be so devastated if I lost Ben after spending the past eight years of my life with him, especially after going through the whole GBS thing with him and being there everyday afterward to help him out. I’m just so glad you can go and visit your beautiful wife whenever you get lonely.

      Debbie has the sweetest smile in her picture and looks so healthy and vibrant. She was way too young to lose her life, and I’m sure God had a reason for calling her home to Heaven. She looked so angelic at 18, and I know she really is your angel watching over you now.

      Try to hang in there, Terry. I know weekends can be long for people who are suffering, but Monday will be here before you know it. Maybe you could try to get out of the house for a little while.

      Best wishes to you,

      Shannon

    • Anonymous
      August 11, 2007 at 11:27 pm

      [COLOR=red]Because of you Debra lives on with us. Thx for sharing.[/COLOR]

    • Anonymous
      August 15, 2007 at 3:04 pm

      Terry,
      I am sorry to hear of your wife passing. I cannot tell you how you should feel or what you should say. Everyone has their own way of grieving and there no right way or wrong way.

      I can tell you that you will make it. I have gone thru this twice and each time I felt I would not. Only thru God’s Grace am I here today. Sometimes my heart felt like it was going to break in two pieces. Other times I didn’t know that I could cry so many tears!

      I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you.

      You can talk anytime to me and I can share my thoughts with you.

      Been there and done that!!!!

      Bunky

    • Anonymous
      August 18, 2007 at 4:32 am

      Terry,
      I have been sick and not on here as often as usual and was shocked to read about your wife.You were an amazing caregiver for her,and I’m so,so sorry she’s gone.You’re in my prayers.Try to take care of you my friend.
      Lesa