What Kids say

    • Anonymous
      April 24, 2008 at 8:18 am

      Little Johnny’s neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

      When the mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny’s family was invited over to see the baby.

      Before they left their house, Little Johnny’s dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

      His dad mentioned that if he so much as hinted anything about the baby’s missing ears or even said the word ears he would get the spanking of his life. Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.

      When Johnny looked in the crib he said, “What a beautiful baby.” The new mother said, “Why, thank you, Little Johnny.”

      Johnny said, “He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes.” “Can he see?” asked Little Johnny.

      “Yes”, the mother replied, “we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision.”

      “That’s great”, said Little Johnny, “cuz he’d be in trouble if he needed glasses!”

    • Anonymous
      May 15, 2008 at 11:34 pm

      A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. “What are you doing?” his mother asked. “The box says not to eat them if the seal is broken” the boy explained. “I’m looking for the seal.”

    • Anonymous
      May 26, 2008 at 4:11 pm

      1971, The days before movies were rated. We took our 2 year old nephew to the drive inn when unexpectedly a close up shot of a womans’ bare rear showed up on the large screen. Before we could hide his eyes or distract him, he points to the screen and says —MOON !!!

    • Anonymous
      May 29, 2008 at 12:57 am

      A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?” “No,” replied Johnny. “How could he, with just two worms.”

    • Anonymous
      June 4, 2008 at 3:29 pm

      A little girl finished her first week of school, “I’m just wasting my time,” she said to her mother. “I can’t read, I can’t write and they won’t let me talk!”

    • Anonymous
      June 15, 2008 at 9:09 am

      A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. “What are you doing?” his mother asked. “The box says not to eat them if the seal is broken” the boy explained. “I’m looking for the seal.”

    • Anonymous
      June 16, 2008 at 8:53 pm

      A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. “Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”

    • Anonymous
      June 19, 2008 at 1:15 am

      One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, “…. and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, “The sky is falling, the sky is falling!” The teacher paused then asked the class, “And what do you think that farmer said?” One little gir l raised her hand and said, “I think he said: ‘Holy Cow! A talking chicken!'”

    • Anonymous
      July 4, 2008 at 8:30 pm

      A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. “If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, ‘Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.'” Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, “Ryan, you be Jesus.

    • Anonymous
      July 10, 2008 at 12:59 am

      A mother was away one weekend at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home collect. Her six-year-old son picked up the phone and heard a stranger’s voice say “We have a Marcia on the line. Will you accept the charges?” Frantic, he dropped the phone and ran outside screaming, “Dad! Dad! They’ve got mom!! And they want money!!!”

    • Anonymous
      September 14, 2008 at 7:44 pm

      One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, “…. and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, “The sky is falling, the sky is falling!” The teacher paused then asked the class, “And what do you think that farmer said?” One little gir l raised her hand and said, “I think he said: ‘WOW! A talking chicken!'”

    • Anonymous
      September 15, 2008 at 2:29 am

      Thanks for sharing these. I got a few good laughs this mornng.

    • Anonymous
      September 18, 2008 at 4:57 pm

      After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.

      At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.

      As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, “Who was that?”

    • Anonymous
      September 26, 2008 at 12:44 am

      TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
      MARIA: Here it is.
      TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
      CLASS: Maria.

    • Anonymous
      October 11, 2008 at 7:25 pm

      TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
      SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.