Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

😀 😀 😀 😀 That’s something I would do.

OK, This one was done on me…. I won’t say how long ago:D

Get a military flashlight, that comes with the different colored lenses. Install the blue lens and put it on flashing. Now wait till after dark on a Friday or Saturday night and drive to your local “Lovers Lane”. As they are usually secluded and often over a little hill, pul your car just up to the crest of the hill and turn “flashing blue lights” on. See how quickly the cars pull out and those that stay watch the frenzy through the steamed up windows as they get dressed and try to compose themselves.

If you’re really lucky, you will clear out the area andcan enjoy it all to yourself and your love. HAVE FUN

[LIST=1]
[*][COLOR=red]Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.) [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.) [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. “That’s a good point, Sparky”. “No I’m sorry I’m going to have to disagree with you there, Sport.” [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you’re doing. For example “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.” [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]”Hi-lite” your shoes. Tell people that you haven’t lost your shoes since you did this. [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in “Palmolive.” [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day. [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you’re waiting for your document. 😉 [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Arrive at a meeting late, say you’re sorry, but you didn’t have time for lunch, and you’re going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes. [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Insist that your e-mail address be: [EMAIL=”zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com”]zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com[/EMAIL] or [EMAIL=”Elvis_the_King@companyname.com”]Elvis_the_King@companyname.com[/EMAIL] [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him or her if they want fries with that. [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the direction of one of your company’s products. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement. [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing. :p [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it “IN.” [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Determine how many cups of coffee are “too many.” [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Develop an unnatural fear of staplers. [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny Partridge. Try to pass them off as your children. [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]For a relaxing break, get away from it all with a mask and snorkel in the fish tank. If no one notices, take out your snorkel and see how many you can catch in your mouth. [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc… in the lunchroom, when people complain that there was none… Just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, “Oh you’ve got to be faster than that.” [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way. [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red][B]Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.:eek: [/B][/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you’re doing. For example, “If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom, in Stall # 3.” [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Reply to everything someone says with, “That’s what you think.” [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with the prophecy.” [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way. [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]In the memo field of all your checks, write ‘for sexual favors’. [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Dont use any punctuation [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Use, too…much; punctuation! [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]As often as possible, skip rather than walk. [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Specify that your drive-through order is ‘to go’. [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Sing along at the opera. [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Call the psychic hotline and don’t say anything. [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 😎 [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme. [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies. (warning: you can get arrested for this, but that can be instructive too) [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood. [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, “Rock Hard.” [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I Won!”, “I Won!” “3rd time this week!!!” [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!” [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red][B]Tell your boss, “It’s not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do.”[/B] [/COLOR]
[*][COLOR=red]Tell your children over dinner. “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”[/COLOR][/LIST]

Captain, you are the most sane person i know!!!!

a few years ago my brother had a camero with dark tinted windows and a pa system. we would drive downtown (Toledo) and say all kinds of hillarious things on the pa to the hookers. we actually had a guy run back to his car and take off when we told him his wife hired us to follow him for the night. since my brother was a volunteer fireman we also had the redlight on the dashboard, so it made for a good laugh.:)

[quote]a few years ago my brother had a camero with dark tinted windows and a pa system. we would drive downtown (Toledo) and say all kinds of hillarious things on the pa to the hookers. we actually had a guy run back to his car and take off when we told him his wife hired us to follow him for the night. since my brother was a volunteer fireman we also had the redlight on the dashboard, so it made for a good laugh.:)[/quote]

[COLOR=red]funny Cheryl sounds like fun. I should get a red light for my wheelchair![/COLOR] :rolleyes:

Remember, other people are square pegs as well. All the holes aren’t round. I stopped saying “I can’t believe I just saw that” 10 years ago.

Insanity is natural, enjoy it !!

I love lots of Dave’s and have seen that list before – it’s great!

My motto: Why be normal?

P.S. I actually did #39 once. It was fun!

If you really need a good laugh, check out these video clips. Apparently the Japanese enjoy a good laugh as much or more than anyone. The first is “Water bottle jet pack”:
(Link deleted by administration)

The second is titled “Never fall asleep in Japan”:

(Link deleted by administration)

Very funny stuff, but would cause big lawsuits here in America.

Stare, grinning at another person for awhile, and then announce, “I have new socks on.”

Something my father used to do and I catch myself doing it to my grandchildren. Give them a candy bar and sit there watching them eating it. Then say poor Grandma would love to have a bite of that candy bar! “Don’t you want to give poor old grandma a bite?” They come over and decide to share it with you when you suddenly take a huge heaping bite out of the bar leaving just a small nub left! 😀 The expression on their faces! LOL!
The next visit.. they get wise and they will share a bite but will pinch off what they want you to have! 😀 😀