rebuttals or disagreements to post re:husband in jail
AnonymousJanuary 14, 2007 at 11:40 pm
I’m open to suggestions and criticisms. So feel free on this thread. The good, the bad and the ugly. I’m also starting another thread, to be designated to information. Web sites. Numbers to call. people to write. Just call it helpful information. I think when someone writes the forum and doesn’t know where to turn, it would be a lot easier to go to one thread and find a lot of helpful information, instead of having to jump around on the discussion forum. Good idea?
AnonymousJanuary 15, 2007 at 12:43 am
Hi Annie ~ I believe we find our selves in a rather tenuous situation. This is not a forum for judgement of good or bad behavior. I would venture that most of us are not qualified to comment on the prison systems.
These forums are for those of us who struggle with GBS/CIDP and our Caregivers (God bless them!). Those are issues we can speak to. If you have specific questions of the nature of GBS, or how medical personal work with us, or how we make it thru the daily grind, well, there’s lots of personal experience here!
Please do not down-play our individual struggles. Where each of us is today has come “hard earned”. What is not difficult for one can be huge and discouraging for another. Trust me, when we are alone and hurting and scared, it doesn’t mean alot that someone else is “worse off” ~ not that we don’t care but “[I]at that moment[/I]” our personal survival is in our face.
Welcome and I hope that you do find some answers here.
AnonymousJanuary 15, 2007 at 1:58 am
Hi Annie, Actually since your husband has gbs the thread you want to post in is the gbs adult thread. We use the other threads for other things, it is set up as it is titled, for instance: gbs-adult, cip/cidp adult, the otherside, etc… it is easier if you keep your gbs questions in the gbs thread, that way the gbs people will be able to read it and responde. If you post gbs questions on the other threads, where not all gbs people read or look at them, answers might not come as quickly. I am speaking for myself when I say not all people on this site always read every single thread and every single post, I can’t stand to sit long enough to do that for one thing and I can’t type all that fast with 2 fingers for another. And then there is the times when I just don’t feel like posting anything, obviously not all that often. I think you need to put your energy into finding ways to assist the jail system in your state then to keep bringing up your negative attitude to the already depressed, guilt ridden, people on this site. I am one person who likes to help people in anyway I can, but there is only soo much others can do to help when we are only connected via the web. You need to exhaust all the good leads that others have offered up on your various postings. It will take time, alot of energy, a very positive attitude to accomplish this task, but I think it can be done. I personally have a relapsing/remitting gbs type, which means I can over do things today and lay down to sleep and wake up 2 hours later paralyzed. I have had 10 relapses in the last 17 months, so I have to use my energy sparingly and in the most beneficial way I can, especially since I am married and have 2 kids to raise. I have to make smart choices every minute of every day. You don’t seem to understand that there are other people on this site who come here to get the support they need to get through an hour, a day, or even a night. Who need to ask questions, answer questions, cheer on others, vent, or just need that little bit of encouragement to face the next hurdle with their head held high.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not down playing your family’s situation, you are just as welcome on this site as everyone else is, I just hope you can see through your anger and try to live life to the fullest and dig your feet in when you have a challenge come up and think positively about the results. A positive attitude will bring positive results. Ask any gbs related questions of us and you will get gbs related answers back. I have never been in the court system even in my state I wouldn’t know where to find answers to the questions you keep asking, except about hippa laws, only because I worked in a hospital medical records dept before my gbs started. Hippa rules are the same in all states, its the law of the land. You know you are more then welcome to vent on this site also, or post questions that your husband has regarding gbs, just please be patient with us for the answers we give and the time it takes us to give those answers. As I always say when I go up against a tuff problem that won’t resolve using the way I used-there is more then one way to skin a pig-if at first you don’t succeed then try try again. Don’t give up on trying to get your husband the care he needs, keep at it until you get results. Take care.
AnonymousJanuary 15, 2007 at 3:08 pm
Many people took the time to give you any info they might have regarding the legal system. Have you contacted an attorney? How about the ACLU, try contacting them. We can’t solve any of your husband’s problems regarding the legal system and I think you are expecting way to much in that area from all of us.
It’s a medical forum and we can help in that area and no other way. We don’t care if he’s in jail, we just give the GBS info without a question.
I think you are directing your anger at the legal system at us, not fair.
You are the only one who can help your husband, so be proactive and maybe follow the suggestions you have been given. Personally my opinion is to contact an attorney, they know the system, we don’t.
I really do hope your husband gets the treatments he needs for his GBS.
AnonymousJanuary 16, 2007 at 12:05 am
I’ve never asked any of you to act as lawyers, or medical professionals. I’ve simply asked for some of you to offer some positive uplifting words for Jacob, towards Jacob. I’m more proactive than you know. To go through into detail about how many letters I’ve written, How much time I’ve spent leaving multiple messages to everyone and anyone I could think could legally help him would take several pages. By the way I’m also a single mom of a thirteen year old boy who works 50 hours a week.
I’m not expecting any of you to solve mine or Jacob’s problems, I was just hoping, for someone to offer some encouraging and uplifting words toward Jacob himself. Believe I am doing everything I possibly can to address his situation. But I feel it’s important for his emotional health if he doesn’t feel I’m his only friend in the world. So again, if you have anything positive and supportive to say towards Jacob himself feel free to express it and I will be happy to forward the information to him.
AnonymousJanuary 16, 2007 at 7:56 pm
My husband has cidp. I must admit that I have only posted a few times asking for advise when I did`nt know where else to turn. I am very greatful for the warm welcome and all the advice I was given. The people here have given me hope when I thought there was none. I think that is what brought me out of my shell once again to post. I have read through all the comments you have recieved. There was alot of informative information, warm wishes, prayers,etc. My question is why hasnt` that been enough to break through your defencive attuide? Everyone just wants to help not judge. I also have had a family member make a bad choice, she went to jail for 10 days. My brother in law had to fight tooth and nail to get her , her meds. I understand your frustration. My hope for you is when you ask for advice, encouragement, etc. is that you can open yourself up enough to recieve it .I come here as much as I can ,and I do read more than I post. Sorry, but I also want you to know that I recieve so much here. Sometimes I laugh and sometimes I cry but when I leave here I always feel my load has been lightened alittle. I hope you will be able to open up and accept what is being offered. In closing just know that you and your family will be in our prayers.
AnonymousJanuary 20, 2007 at 3:39 am
I think everyone on this forum would agree that it totally sucks when someone you love is hurting and you can’t be there or help them as much as you want to. It’s extemely frustrating. I think I apologized enough for my crappy attitude in the beginning. And since then maybe I haven’t been appreciative enough to some. At the same token we are all adults, and if I disagree or have a rebuttal to something somebody wrote, I’m going to say it( or write it ) You may construe that as negative, but I look at it as another point of view. I appreciate your point of view. Whether I agree with it or not I’ve learned something from everyone that has responded. The good wishes and encouragement warms my heart. It’s not about me though. The other thread I started, about encouragement for my husband, I’m going to print it up and send it to my husband. I know it will make him smile.
Here’s an update, as much as I know at least.
Jacob was transported to from Pinellas County Jail to the Orlando Reception
Center about a month ago. He’s still in a wheelchair. The Reception Center is the inbetween before he goes to prison. He’s supposed to spend about six weeks there, they’ll give a thorough psych evaluation, medical evaluation etc.,then he’ll be transferred to the prison in Orlando . From what I’ve heard from reputable sources, their medical treatment is worlds better. Even though the Pinellas County Jail had access to get Jacob’s records from the two hospital’s he was treated at for GBS, the medical rep at the reception center told me that Pinellas county most likely won’t forward the records, so they’ll have to start all over and request new ones. As far as me getting the records, I’m still working on getting the rights to them. We were working on that in Pinellas County. It took three months to get a notary there and yeah I agree that Jacob should have made sure both pages were notarized. So I’m kind of pissed at him for not following through properly when he finally did get a notary. But in another way, I understand because jail can make you batty. I’ve never been in there longer than three days. But each and everyday you spend in there is hell. It’s so hard to think straigt in there.
Anyways I cant’ visit him in the reception center. I can write him and him me. And I sent him another power of attorney(one page long to avoid any confusion) Since he got arrested about the middle of July I haven’t been able to touch him. The visits at Pinellas County are done by video camera. When they do transfer him to the actual prison we’ll be able to have face to face visits. I’ll actually be able to hug and kiss my husband for the first time in six months. THAT’S GONNA BE SO AWSOME!!!. Again thanks to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.:)
AnonymousJanuary 26, 2007 at 11:06 pm
First of all hello and sorry I havn’t been on for awhile. I was reading to basically catch up and of course came to this thread. You know, I realize this is very difficult on all of you and I hate to hear of anyone going thru this. I am sure that you need to vent and cuss and yell and guess what as far as I’m concerned it’s ok to do that. It’s also ok to be angry for awhile because we have all been there. As we all know when we are hurt and angry we usually show it in the wrong places but it is also sometimes those places that are the safest to show our feelings and yes I believe this is probably one of those places for you. I believe that you are trying everything in your power to do the things you need for your husband as well as your son and i’m sure it is very overwhelming and difficult at times. Just try to make yourself lists and cross off little things and eventually you will see that you are making progress. Unfortunately the prison system is not structured to be compassionate or trusting and I’m sure you can understand why but with time someone will realize there are needs that your husband has and will hopefully help him get what he needs. Feel free to email me or private message me any time. And tell Jacob that he will get thru this and that this big family out here will be here when he finally gets to us.
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