My one year anniversary

Well my [B]one year anniversary[/B] is [B]today[/B] (oh yay pop the bubbly … NOT) when I first got my GBS symptoms 😮 and by 15 April I was admitted to hosp which is incredible to even imagine really – it felt really surreal then and it still does now in many respects. I’ve actually had mixed emotions today because I’m sort of reliving the course of the day moment by moment – maybe I should have some bubbly afterall hehe:D How did you guys feel about your anniversarys?

Anyway today seems a good day to reflect on my progress. It’s been 7mths since I was discharged (Sept 06) and it feels awesome to have come as far as I have. Like I said when I got out (see thread hi everyone from auck, nz) I had AFO’s, crutches, walker, bath board for showering and toilet frame. Within a week I ditched the bath board, toilet frame and walker altogether and decided that I’d do as many ‘normal’ things as I could by myself, I just felt like I was ready to give it a go. I’d use crutches around home and crutches and AFO’s when I went out so all this change was a huge turning point for me because a week earlier in hospital this wasn’t even imaginable to me. Everyone knew ‘the rule’ which was they had to let me do it by myself and I’d ask for help if I needed it, it was really hard for them at first to watch me struggle (especially my Mum) but they got used to it in the end and it was good for me because I didn’t want to get reliant on people if I didn’t have to. Sometimes it took me ages (like over an hour to fold a few items of washing) but time wasn’t an issue so it didn’t matter and I just felt grateful that I could do it at all. I was absolutely petrified of falling over so every step I took I was as careful as I could be so I’ve only done the ‘Hollywood’ about three times, 1st time I sprained or broke my wrist according to my PT but I didn’t want to know so I just ignored it, made no difference really it had to heal either way. Another time I fell over in front of tons of people at a festival and they all looked at me like I was a weirdo so I didn’t feel very cool that day. I’ve done alot of tripping on things, over things, around things, you name it and getting off balance and falling into the nearest thing available to stop myself going any further (wall, bookshelf, you name it, even strangers in the street). I laugh about it now and I laughed then, you’ve got to otherwise you’d go nuts.

Slowly but surely with my physio and day to day activities I was accomplishing more and more and getting stronger. By mid October I was walking by myself (no crutches or AFO’s yay I didn’t like the AFO’s anyway) which was the best feeling and by Xmas I started driving my car again.

Today I self manage my rehab by going to the gym, aqua aerobics and getting on with everyday activities which is the best kind of physio really and I see my PT monthly for monitoring purposes. I’m not on any medication which I was able to wean off before I got discharged so that’s a bonus. I probably consider myself 85% recovered. I’m not like I used to be, I get fatigued, I can’t walk as fast as I used to, I can only run but for a very very short distance as I have very little stamina for it (never liked running anyway, but it is handy in an emergency) but despite all that I feel very grateful to have back what I have and I don’t dwell on the ‘why me’ or the ‘what ifs’ because it won’t make it go away and I think it’s better to focus on what I do have rather than what I don’t.

My main residuals is my balance because my ankles are weak but that’s getting better slowly, and my feet have constant pins/needles, and some ‘zapping’ (which can get quite uncomfortable at times). I can’t walk barefoot on rough or uneven surfaces, it just about sends me skyward. I also have slight dropfoot, it used to be really bad but it’s improved heaps, but I still have to be careful walking around cause I could trip over. I used to have the pins and needles feeling all over my body and as the nerves recovered it went away but my feet seem to have worn the brunt of it. Other than that the rest of me has recovered really well and I’m just working on building up stamina and strength.

All I can say from my personal experience is never ever give up, be positive and have an ‘I can do it’ attitude. Surround yourself with a good support network and focus on your rehab and do what you have to do to get better. At my very worst, some of the med prof’s considered my condition touch and go. Then when I was in the acute stage they gave me the doom and gloom scenario that I might not make a good recovery because I was considered quite severe and I’d staggered for so long and they were worried my nerve damage was extensive and here I am today up and about and sharing my story. It’s been a hard battle to get here and it’s taken alot of hard work and determination but anything’s possible. I’ts all about mind over matter. Hope this helps to inspire others. Bye for now 🙂