My Mother’s Falls
AnonymousSeptember 8, 2007 at 3:40 pm
It might help me if I talk to my family here. I live with my 88yr old mother. She’s in the front of the house, I have an apartment in the rear. My mother is in declining health and does not get up out of bed anymore except to use the commode and for the sheets to be washed. I was severely damaged by CIDP and am left with alot of residuals. I will always need a wheelchair. I have a caregiver who helps me with things I cannot do and I am caregiver to my mother in the evening, holidays and weekends. MY MOTHER IS A FALLING HAZARD and her falls have been going on for seven years now. Thank God they are soft falls on carpeting and she has not as yet broken bones. Needless to say, from a wheelchair, I cannot pick her up. She does wear a medical alert. My brother responds to the falls. Thursday night (late) she fell, my brother came and got her back in bed. She did not tell him she needed to use the commode and she got up a half hour later and fell again. My brother came a second time and put her back in bed. He’s a police officer and works a graveyard shift and he left work a second time to help her. I got only about an hours sleep that night, but it was mostly just laying down with my eyes close because my mind has gone into an alert mode. I went to check on my mother in the morning and she had just fallen a third time.
CAN MY FAMILY HERE UNDERSTAND WHAT IT DOES TO YOU TO SEE YOUR FRAIL MOTHER LAYING ON THE FLOOR AND YOU CAN’T HELP HER.
AnonymousSeptember 8, 2007 at 3:58 pm
I’m so sorry to hear how often your mother falls. Thank goodness you have
your brother to help get her up.
Does she have bedside rails on her bed? Would that help steady her? How
about night diapers or a waterproof pad on the bed?
I know, by being in a wheelchair myself, you cannot pick her up…you must
feel helpless to aid her. Outside of a live-in, which is expensive, I’m not sure
what else you could do. I’m sure putting her in an assisted living apt. is not
what you would want to do.
My heart goes out to you…maybe others have some ideas…
AnonymousSeptember 8, 2007 at 7:14 pm
Liz you know we are here for you! I think it is time to have a family meeting and see if there is another solution. Maybe other family members or friends that could spend some time helping you. If not then you and your family might want to set some boundries on how long you wait before you seek other ways to help your Mom. You may want to make some calls to agencies in your area that have volunteers. Call a social worker at the hospital near you, they maybe able to advise you on what is available. Getting these answers now can help you make arrangements for a later date. It is easier on everyone if it does come to that point later. That is something you don’t want to rush into at a later date. If you have planned this ahead, everyone knows what to expect. You can then put the plan into effect when needed. I am sure your Brother can also find out thru work what agencies are available for different levels of care. This plan could also enclude plans for you also. Please don’t let this total decision be on your shoulders right now you are carrying too much of a load and stress will make you back slide in your efforts to get well. You as well as your Mom deserve the best of care! But you already know that! Remember how we tell everyone to take care of our caregivers? Well you need to take care of you so you can take care of your Mom. Don’t be ashamed that you are asking for help. If you need a phone call please let me know! We have not talked for a while now.
September 10, 2007 at 9:36 am
I am sorry to hear about your mom. As well, I am sorry that you are torn about not being able to help her. You do all that you can do to help yourself! Maybe some other family members can help? Is ther a possibility that she can have a nurse companion come in? If not, what about calling your local church? I know that our church has just sent out paperwork for the kids with their requirements of volunteer work in order to be confirmed. Please try to worry about yourself as well! I would hate to see stress hinder your current remission. If I knew how to send those big hugs like you do, I would. Well, I can say them, big hugs and encouragement sent your way!
Dawn Kevies mom 😮
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