Jamie’s New Journey

    • Anonymous
      October 11, 2008 at 8:25 pm

      So, it has come to be that Jamie and her family are beginning a whole new chapter in their lives. We’ve had a ton of blessings lately! Here we go…..

      this is what has happened in the last 2 days…

      1. 99% chance I’ve just got my dream job, as a Crisis Intervention Nurse. This is my dream job, but pays less and is in a town an hour away from here. good thing, though, is that i have my mom, two sisters, a niece and 3 newphews there, along with hubby’s enire family. Not so good-all of my other family will now be over an hour away and my kids and i are literally with them every day. i cook dinner for my parents atleast twice a week. that will no longer be possible. can visit every weekend, though, cuz i’ll work m-f 7am to 330 p.m. i should be starting work in two weeks, unless something unexpected happens.

      2. Will either be buying a new house or renting for a bit to see if we like it down there. Just found a perfect, perfect house. listen to this dream!!! 1.5 wooded acres on a very popular lake, directly next door to the lake’s huge park and boat launch!!! insane!!! now, check this out…its $94,000.00!!!! problem-its a 2 bedroom, 1 bath, 1000 square foot cottage. its old, with paneling and dingy paint, and a yard full of weeds. it will have to be totally remodeled and a huge addition would have to be added on, probably before winter. good thing-we should have the money to do that.

      3. i think im gonna home school my oldest boy. crazy, right? but at this point, he’s wasting everyone’s time and he may be a big jerk if i expect him to start at a new school in the middle of his full-time tantrum:eek: i am hoping that the absolutely wonderful area we will live in will make him happy enough that he will chill the heck out:eek:

      4. the town we will move to is ranked #42 in the nation for the best towns to raise families. just found that out by accident, and that was after i found that perfect little cottage! it has award-winning schools and tons of recreation. plus, it is 15 miles from my new work and 20 miles from hubby’s! all the schools are about 1.5 miles away and the mall is 5 miles away:p there are no dangerous, drug-infested neighborhoods within walking distance of my children. whew!!!

      5. i will be starting school again soon. maybe now i’ll wait until i get settled in to my new job and new home.

      6. cant forget out new baby, kai! starting over again with a new baby is a journey in itself:p

      I am so excited right now. I feel like all of the hard times my family has been thru in the past couple years have led us to this moment in time where most everything is falling into place perfectly. I feel sooooo blessed! I know the house issue is going to be a challenge. I just spotted it on the internet, havent even talked to anyone about it yet. dont know if the renovation we need is possible. dont know about permits, homeowner’s association, rules and financing. dont know what to do with our current home in this crazy economy.

      it will be what it is supposed to be. im nervous, anxious, happy, and guarded at the same time. thank you all for sharing this journey with me. i sincerely appreciate every conversation ive had with all of you. best wishes to you and you families. i’ll keep you updated if youd like. i know this site is about gbs/cidp, but i think many of us are close enough that we share other parts of our lives, too.

    • October 11, 2008 at 9:29 pm

      How awesome Jamie, that is the best news I’ve heard in a long time (besides Kevies doctor news) I am so glad things are coming together for you!
      Dawn Kevies mom

    • Anonymous
      October 11, 2008 at 9:55 pm

      You are excited, aren’t you. 😀 Great news. Where exactly in MI. My oldest daughter Angela and her family lives in Battle Creek. How is Kai? Our younger daughter Ryan was visiting today with her two kids. The baby, Sawyer, 9 mo., is so cute. He is doing a crab crawl now and I can get him to laugh.

    • Anonymous
      October 11, 2008 at 11:43 pm

      Things are looking up for you Jamie, you have come a long way.

    • Anonymous
      October 12, 2008 at 12:01 am

      shirley, dawn, norb,

      thanks for your kind words;)

      to answer your questions…

      i live in saint louis right now and will likely to moving to the greater lansing area before winter.

      kai-he is doing amazingly well! he is getting soooo big, babbling, sitting up in his walker, etc. he weighs 13 lbs now and is in the 90th and 95th percentiles for his height and weight. that means that 90% of babies his age are shorter than him and 95% weigh less than him. his eyes are still this weird blue/green/brown color, so we dont know what color they are really going to be. maybe hazel like mine? his skin is turning a darker tan color. he is looking more and more like his daddy every day! he is a good baby-only cries if hes hungry or bored. couldnt ask for a sweeter or healthier little boy!

      hope all of you are doing well. norb, wondering what kind of mischief youve been up to in the tavern lately! i dont go there much cuz im totally out of the loop when i do. i never have a clue what in the world is going on with you and your crazy friends over there:D

      take care of yourselves! glad kevie had some good news! adios amigos!

    • Anonymous
      October 12, 2008 at 7:57 am

      So true Jamie! You belong in here because you became a part of the family. I wish you the best in happiness and hope everything works well for you! Good luck Jamie!

    • Anonymous
      October 12, 2008 at 5:40 pm

      Jamie you know I love ya! I couldn’t be more excited if I was the one with all this glorious stuff happening. I can’t wait to share this journey with you.

    • Anonymous
      October 13, 2008 at 7:34 am


      you are always so sweet to me! youre a good girl! thanks for always being there for me, and emma, too.

      its now monday morning and my tummy has butterflies cuz im thinking i ll be getting a phone call today from human resources. i will have to be bargaining with them over my wage. between us – the manager encouraged me to because he thinks they may start me out as a level 5 if i do some bargaining. it pays $2 more than level 4, what they are probably gonna offer to start. the poor manager is stressing like crazy! he said he got in trouble cuz he had this big “creep factor” so he never called him back. happy to know he isnt looking for just a body to fill the position. he actually cares. my boss is gonna be a really, really good guy!

    • Anonymous
      October 13, 2008 at 7:52 am

      This morning you have all these butterflies in your stomach floating around in hopes to get that job! I hope those butterflies get the chance to turn into blooming flowers. Meaning I got my fingers crossed for you today! Hugs!
      Linda H

    • Anonymous
      October 13, 2008 at 8:27 am

      thanks linda! youre awesome!

      yeah, im nervous about him contacting my references, although im sure they will say only good things about me. i have personal references and manager references. always gotta be a little nervous when they talk to your managers, especially when i was off on fmla for so long. thats the only thing that could hurt me, but i explained that to the manager who interviewed me and told him how healthy i am now. he understood and didnt seem the least bit worried about it.

      nervous about the bargaining issue. im not that type of person – not good at that stuff.

      nervous about moving, paying for 2 houses, etc. hubby hates change, hates stress, and we’re going to be experiencing tons of both in the coming months! im sure the good will outweigh the bad, for sure. he will be 3x closer to his work when we move, so that should make him feel a lot better:) and with me not having an income for so long, im sure he’s gonna love seeing my paycheck coming in!

      ctually i think i will still apply for the (forensic) sexual assault nurse examiner position, too. i think i only have to sign up for 4 days a month, then im just on-call until someone comes into the E.R. i help them and then go back home until someone else comes in. i only get paid $4 an hour while im on call, but i get $48 an hour while im on a case. even if idont get called for a case that day, that is still almost $100 bucks in my pocket just for carrying a pager around town with me. not bad, in my book;)

    • Anonymous
      October 13, 2008 at 8:36 am

      That’s not bad money getting $48.00 a case or $100.00 just for carrying a pager around. At least it is income coming in. But I know deep in your heart you want to go back to work. Maybe this job was the intended job just waiting for you.
      But Jamie! It is does not happen! There might be something much better lurking around the corner. So don’t get let down today if you don’t get that job. Maybe something else is waiting and you are the right person for it! Something much better that might not even require a move! Keep us posted and I pray things go well today!

    • Anonymous
      October 13, 2008 at 9:18 am

      linda, you are so right! i will get the job where God needs me the most!

      I dont think there will be an issue with this job. i really feel its gonna work out just fine. i calculated it out and realized that this new job is 4 hours more per week that my old one, and that about makes up for the pay difference right there. i can opt out of the insurance, too, which should be worth atleast a few dollars an hour. i knw at the hospital, it is a $10/hour pay raise if you choose not to have insurance. the benefits at the new job will be free, if i do take them, adn at my old work, i had to pay for them. it is looking more and more like the money will not be an issue.

      as far as the sexual assault nursing, that will be an extra thing i’ll do on the side. and the pay is $48 each hour im on the case. my friend said some cases take up to 7 hours. havent calculated that, but it sounds like an awesome number to me! and it only be like 15 minutes from home. i just have to stay within one hour of the hospital when im on call. theres tons of stuff to do in lansing, so its not like im gonna have a horribly boring day just because im on call.

      i really think it is something i will be great at. maybe this is TMI, but when you’ve walked in the patients shoes, you can provide much better care for them. my family doesnt know this, but ive been though what my patients will have been thru. i can help them, or atleast not make the exam as traumatic for them. as you know, it is easier when you are with someone who really knows how you feel. like psych nursing, i feel this is something God has planned for me to do. my job would be doing a physical exam, the rape kit, collecting DNA, and taking photos. how traumatic that must be for the people who have to endure it, but they are strong people just for coming in. i think its like 1 in 3 women report being raped in their lifetime. imagine how many arent reported! and ive never heard the statistic on men, but i know several males who were sexually assaulted. no one ever talks about that. i just want to help. the paycheck is just a bonus.

    • Anonymous
      October 13, 2008 at 9:59 am

      I can’t wait to hear about your job. I hope you get it as you sound so enthusiastic about it. It takes special people to do that job and you sound so suited for it. You have so much compassion that it is contagious! 😎
      You would be an asset to any organization. Keep us posted we are rooting for you!

    • Anonymous
      October 13, 2008 at 6:03 pm

      Even though it never happened to me. I had a 63 year old Aunt, that was raped, robbed and beaten to death in her own home. My 82 year old grandmother was living there also. A gang broke into my grandmother’s house and left both for dead. They even raped my grandmother! She came too hours later and told what happened but was in shock at first. My parents took my grandmother in to live with them but had alot of problems with her. They woke up one night and found her standing at the edge of their bed holding a large kitchen knife! They had to place her in a nursing home. Her mind went! Totally went! Even elderly get raped!
      Jamie! Seeing my 63 year old Aunt the way they left her! Killed me! Just about killed me! You would never think that people could be so mean and do such horrible things. But there’s alot of meaness out there!
      My grandmother could never talk about the rape. But when they examined her at the hospital the doctors confirmed it. My Aunt’s murder is still unsolved today! The only witness they had was my grandmother and she was not able to talk about it much at all!
      It takes a good nurse to handle that! What would tear me up though would to see a child raped. Young child. Wonder how many we have of those around?
      Keep us posted Jamie! I hope you got the call today!

    • Anonymous
      October 13, 2008 at 11:57 pm

      thank you janb! starting a new job is scary, so it eases that anxiety when we heard such compliments! thanks! it really mean a lot!!!

      linda, oh my! breaks my heart to know you and your family went through (and are still affected by) such a horrible trauma. death and trauma are so difficult to deal with, and then when it happens so violently, i dont know how the families involved even start the healing process. i know there is a process we go through – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance. but the thought of it in its entirety is overwhelming. and many people cant get past the anger, so that slows the healing tremendously. i pray for your family that you have found peace in your hearts and minds, and that the powers that be will take care of this trauma for you.

      i know that the issue of children being assaulted will be the hardest for me. but the hardest times are also the most rewarding. knowing i have helped someone and shown them true love, maybe when no one else in the world does, that is more rewarding that i can explain. for example, when my stepdad died of cancer just one week after he was diagnosed, i was a wreck. then, i went into work and one of my patients was dying of cancer, like would pass away within hours of me arriving. it was the hardest, yet most loving, shift ive ever worked. i cried my eyes out all the way home that day, cried myself to sleep, adn then cried all the way to work again. i just kept thinking to myself that i couldnt be a nurse anymore. emotionally, it was killing me. i cried all the way up the elevator, trying to suck it up, drying my eyes. when the elevator doors opened, my friend was standing there at the nurse station and she noticed i had been crying. i told her i was okay, and then she stepped to the side to show me a huge bouquet of flowers on the desk. “olga died this morning right after you left. these flowers are for you; theyre from her family”. i ran into the breakroom crying. many of the tears were for my own family, but many were also for hers.

      a week later, i found a greeting card taped to my locker. it was from the top-dog nurse at our hospital. she told me how olgas family had personally come to her office, told her about me, and hand-delivered a letter to the top administrators. she enclosed the letter and i cried my eyes out again as i read it. then i realized that times like those, like olgas, were what made my job so rewarding. i remembered at that moment why i am a nurse.

      i think helping assaulted children will give me the same feeling – the hurt and the love and the thanks for the opportunity to make a bit of a difference to people who are in the most traumatic times of their lives. i still have that card and the letter from olgas family. i read it the other day, and cried again. when i have hard days, i read it and remember instantly why i am a nurse.

    • Anonymous
      October 19, 2008 at 6:53 am


      Havent been in her for ages so it is great to pop in and hear such great news. Good luck with the job (s) and whatever is meant to be will be … but there will be something great for you ahead, no doubt about that as you have a true calling.

      How is your health these days? Have you totally recovered? Glad to hear kai is doing so well too.
      And you will always be a member of this family – like it or not, there is no escape.;)

    • Anonymous
      October 19, 2008 at 1:25 pm

      Wow, Jamie, can’t leave here for a few days and look at all you have done. I will keep my fingers crossed for you on that job. You be strong with your salary negotations, you have the experience and you have so much to offer. You go girl. I PM’d you on the rest.
      Cyber mom

    • Anonymous
      October 19, 2008 at 11:13 pm

      montanasmum, good to talk to you again! it been a while, ha! hope you are doing well!

      my health is absolutely wonderful! im gaining so much weight, though, bumming around the house, waiting to get back to work. If that is all i have to comlain about, though, then im doing darn good!

      I start work on 10/27/08. i have an awesome shift, awesome boss, and an awesome wage. they are starting me at the very top of the pay scale! the manager told me it was impossible, that i was super lucky if they brought me in a couple below the top, since the budget is so tight. he said the top admininstrator would have to approve it, and it would be hard to justify. then they called me and offered the highest wage on their payscale, right off the bat! and the benefits are awesome, too! im so lucky! i cant wait to start, although it will be hard leaving my babies. the oldest two are in school all day, and i work the same hours as they are in school. the baby is another story, but i know i dont have much of a choice. when we move closer to work, i will be home about an hour before hubby leaves. so that will be good for the kids, too. kai may need a babysitter so his daddy can get some sleep, though. hubby doesnt get to bed til about 530 or 6am.

      speaking of kai, he’s not happy with us right now, and hes telling us all about it:D his cry is so sweet:p

      talk to ya later!!!


    • Anonymous
      October 20, 2008 at 5:42 am

      Hi Jamie! You got the job! That is wonderful news! So happy for you!
      What you posted to me about my Aunt and Grandmother was so true! All the different emotions you go through is very tough to handle. I was living in PA when it happened and the night that it happened, I had a strange dream. My Aunt was in my bedroom and telling me that I needed to be living back in NC. That I don’t belong in PA and my family is going to need me! Ohh was that a creepy dream!
      I remember waking up and looking at the clock. The investigators said that she passed away around that time frame. I came down here to go to the funeral in total shock. The family decided to have an open casket funeral because they wanted people to see what these guys did to her!
      Oh my God Jamie! When I saw my aunt in that casket and her face was not her face, her neck had been broken and she had spots all over her body that even cosmetics couldn’t hide.
      Jamie! It did a number on my mind! Just like you with your dad! I was devastated for months. And you are right! First you have hurt, then sadness and with us it even brough fear against certain people. Then the anger and being mad comes in! Then you break down with depression.
      I still today think about it, but have excepted it! 3 of the 5 guys that did this crime although they could never prove they did it because of the lack of strong evidence and back then they did not have DNA. 3 are now dead. Three of them got murdered in gang violence. One got caught for murdering another elderly person and got the death penalty. He got put to sleep by Lethal Injection. And one is still running free!
      But I feel like we got justice! Knowing that 4 of them are no longer here to cause harm on anyone else. Although I wished they had enough on the last guy and put him away too. I have to say 4 our of 5 is not bad! At least 4 are gone and not walking the streets.
      My dad’s brother and sisters though. They still have anger over her death. And then seeing their mother go through what she went through. They want that last guy and I don’t think they will ever except what happened. We all go on with our lives, and have excepted it, but some of us still have the anger built inside. Mainly my father’s sisters and 1 brother.
      I doubt her case will ever be solved. At least with my grandmother her mind is now at peace and she know longer has to live each day seeing what happened over and over again.
      The only thing you can do in a situation like this is eventually except what happened and try to go on with life. Easier said than done, but what else can a person do? It’s done and over with now and there is nothing anybody can do to change it! I still miss them though but try to remember the goodness they had!
      Jamie! I am so glad you got that job! You diserved it! And I think you will make a really fantasic nurse! Good luck on your new journey! Hugs
      Linda H

    • Anonymous
      October 20, 2008 at 10:31 pm


      thank you for posting again. your story is so saddening and it hurts to hear it, but it also motivates me to make a difference in this world. i will continue to pray for your family.

      i heard a saying today on the radio that is kind of harsh, but true. you reminded me of it, so i will share it with you. they were talking about anger, how it only hurts the person who is carrying it, not the person it is directed at. This is the saying that stuck…

      “Holding anger for someone is like eating rat poison and then expecting the rat to die”.

      I understand it and agree with it, but what i dont understand fully is how not to be angry in a situation like yours. i cant imagine what it must have been like at your aunts funeral. i dont knwo that i would have made the same decision about the open casket, although i absolutely understand where that decision came from. i was wondering how you felt about it, if it is okay to ask?

      do you think your aunt was with you that night? seems like it, doesnt it? thta is amazing. i had a kinda similiar experience, but not nearly as important as yours.

      i had always been afraid to die, and then one night i had this very vivid dream that i died a violent death. as i was dying, i could hear only absolute silence, and everything happened in slow motion. it was so peaceful, although in reality there was violence all around me. i was lying on the ground and i could start to hear only myself breathing and my heart beating, anf i felt like i was floating. my heart was beating slower and slower and my breathing did the same. my body got lighter and lighter and i started to get tunnel vision. the tunnel got more and more narrow, until i could no longer see anything, and then my breathing and heartbeat stopped. i was so relaxed and the floating feeling was awesome! then, the next thing i knew, i was looking up at my body floating in the air. i was lying on my back, and it was like a force was gently pulling me toward the sky by my chest. my arms, legs and head relaxed and weightless and hanging freely and my chest was much higher than the rest of my body. there were bright lights shining down on my from the sky and sparkles all around me. i felt so happy and comfortable, like wrapping up in your favorite down comforter in a warm, cozy bed. aahhhh…

      when i woke up from my dream, i was no longer afraid to die. i went to work that day and told all my friends about my dream, and that i was no longer afraid of death. i felt so much better! i cant even explain it. it was a life-changing experience. then, when i was at work that morning, i got a phone call from my mom telling me that my grandmother had died in the middle of the night. maybe it was just a coincidence, but it helped me tremendously.