applied for ssi
July 8, 2009 at 2:02 am
I can’t take it anymore. The crummy days are more often than the good and with recent events in our family, the stress and anxiety is overwhelming. My residuals are making life difficult, but somehow I push to get thru. I will have my phone interview later this month. They will try to get my medical records…hope my stubborness/lack of ability to pay to be seen doesnt come back to haunt me. But honestly if I went in as often as I felt I needed to, I would have to bring a sleeping bag and a cooler. And what can they do about residuals anyhow? Rx a med that makes me ill or feel worse? I have tried several and had negative results with each one.
About this time last year I went in for my nerve test, which revealed damage. I am in my 3rd year and know from research that it seems to be the magic year. I was truly hoping to be further along than I am but it isn’t happening.
I am trying so hard to get my own thing going. My photos, photo enhancements, digital art work. All of which I can do when I feel good. I can also wander the house, lay down and rest, take the day off, work late at night if i cant sleep, whatever it takes I can at least do it at home and not let anyone down or lose my job. This of course is more difficult than I thought it would be. I will not give up though because there is so much I still need to learn and I love learning.
I can not walk very long…the grocery store usually is it for me for the day, a slow walk around the block and I am done…I can not stand for very long either. End up with my feet and legs feeling swollen, lots of pain, tingling, and I am down for a couple of days. Same thing with sitting…hence the wandering, resting. Oh and lets not forget the lack of exercise wreaking havoc on my body! What do you do for exercise??
Okay enough griping…I just hope the SSI process doesnt add too much stress to my plate. Trust me it is overfilled and spilling over!
July 8, 2009 at 12:18 pm
sorry no info
AnonymousJuly 10, 2009 at 8:13 pm
I hope you have a better time with SSI.than I did. Some get approved right away, and some have to go through the mill, lawyer and all, which I had to do the 2nd time. Do you have a doc that has said you can’t work? That’s a good place to start, to help you get through your phone interview better. I never have figured the system out. The lawyer doesn’t get paid, until you get approved, and Social Sec. pays him. They have a set limit what they will pay and your lawyer must accept it, he can’t charge you for more. I hope that is good news for you, FOM. The hard part is the waiting, but I know you can do it.
I have never had PT, so I thought they could come up with a plan for me to help strengthen my feet and ankles, to help my balance, so I don’t fall all the time. Have you had PT to help you through the good and crummy days–they are a bummer aren’t they? You are not griping; you are venting to people that understand…..I am a pretty good listener and so are a lot of people here. We are your family that truly knows what you are going through.
Work hard to reduce your strength and anxiety, that’s the hard one. One day at a time. All my best to you FOM. Sending you a big hug and keeping you in my prayers.
AnonymousJuly 10, 2009 at 8:55 pm
You WILL get beyond this. I have no doubt. And you are not griping, but merely venting to your peers. There is a huge difference. I am ex (ex?) special forces and the most important mantra they teach in all of their training is to Not Give Up. The movie lines are awfully cliche, but true — failure is just not an option.
I can remember coming back from wherever doing whatever and seeing our own troops. They would regard us with a mixture of respect and, well, awe. That was particularly hard for me since I felt I was just doing my job. So it was kind of hard for me to understand.
Fast forward 30 years and I was down and out with GBS for a whole 2 and a half months. I mean I went down as far as you can go, but came back so fast it’s just kind of a bad dream now. August 3 will be my one year anniversary. I’ve been working since October 13.
So now I finally understand the feeling of the troops watching us as we would go by. I respect each and every one of you on this forum and I am in awe of all of you that have had to cope with this syndrome for as long as you have.
So “gripe” all you want, but do not give up. You WILL get beyond this.
AnonymousJuly 10, 2009 at 9:08 pm
Hi FOM: I echo what others have said about coming to the forum and letting out your feelings. I hope the request for disability works first time around. Your comment about exercise makes me wonder if you have ever tried water walking. I do it in a therapy pool which has nice hot water and walk back and forth for a half hour. It wipes me out for a day or so, but I love it and I feel it is a place where I can walk without paying too big a price. I drive my scooter right up to the pool and just get in. If you haven’t tried it, it is the best exercise I know for those of us who can’t walk very much. Good luck with all your efforts.
And Johnny Mac-thanks for your post. Jeff
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