What now?

April 21, 2007 at 6:43 pm

I understand what Brandy and Jeremy have said. Believe me I do feel for my bil, I get so mad when he wants me to get something or do something that he can do with a little effort. I read some of what other’s with GBS have written and it seems so important for some of them to do for themselves with a little help from others. They seem to find hope when they find they can do things and my bil doesn’t even want to try. I end up feeling used and very unappreciated. We can go on a trip to someplace close or 500 miles away and he prefers to empty his urine bag on the parking lot ground instead of using his walker to go to the bathroom and do this, yet he will use his walker to go to Walmart (then get a riding cart) because he likes to do this. At what point and to how far do I say enough is enough? I don’t want to hurt him because this has been traumatic for him, but I feel that I am enabling him not to get better. I know I cannot force him to get better, nor can I force him to want to try to get better, but I cannot in good faith or my sanity allow him to use me either. I’m scared of making a terrible decision. I’m scared because I do not know how bad he really is vs reality. I know he can do things because I have seen him do them IE walking (with some difficulty) getting his own cokes, using his home bathroom, walking to his room to play video games etc. His weight has gone up probably over 100lbs since this happened. He only eats, drinks cokes and smokes (3 packs a day) and watches TV. He can get to the local market to get his cigs. He used to walk in to get them, but now the girls bring them to the car because they feel sorry for him. I feel like I am going to go crazy if I don’t know what boundaries to set or what boundaries are safe to set. I don’t want him to relapse and be even worse. Please I really need some more advice.