I’m not exactly sure how it works. I can remember they took my sutures out after so many days because they were starting to look a bit “angry”. Obviously they are not required to hold the trachy in. There is also a velcro collar that i think helps hold it in place. I ended up with an infection. I never actually saw it and had trouble understanding what it looked like but apparently the wound was quite open and i couldnt have the trachy out until it healed otherwise air would escape???? So i had an open wound all the way to the trachy yet it didnt fall out? I ended up with a scar about 2 inches long. The trachy itself is much smaller isnt it? When they took the trachy out they just let it heal by itself so obviously thse things heal pretty well.
Sorry not much help but thought i would let you know that despite problems i had it really wasnt too big a deal.
As for his emotional state, it sounds quite normal to me. I had days when i really felt like it would never be over and i didnt have the strength to fight anymore. A couple of times i really felt it would be easier just to refuse treatment and curl up and die … but of course you dont, you deal with each day as it comes and try not to look too far ahead as that will just do your head in. Let him know that there are others here who have been down the same path and have survived to tell our stories.
I think of your father quite often and wonder how he is going (please let him know that his progress is being followed as far away as Australia!)