still hangin in there

So, today is friday and im still alive:eek:

I think each day is getting better.

Yep. Cold turkey. The pregnancy complicates this situation.

docs said absolutely no meds. obgyn said the baby will be born addicted if im taking anything, and will have to stay in the hospital for a month on an iv drip to wean him. Talk about feeling like a bad mommy, even though i know i didnt do anything wrong. docs knew what i was taking. we actually had a conversation specifically about the vicodin.

Had a huge reduction in the “electricity”, so thought everything was great, although the muscle and joint pain kept me in tears. Then, last night i had the “electricity” all night long. I usually only took my Vicodin before bed, and when i woke up. Maybe that is why im worse at night now.

My obgyn has been great. calls me every day just to see how i am doing. made me an appt with a rheumatologist for a week after i have the baby (about a month from now). told me to call him anytime i need help, and that he may need to put me on an antidepressant because withdrawls can really mess with your mind, even make you suicidal.

Psychologically, im fine, just a little bit of an ego issue from having to tell my family, “Yeah, ummm, i guess im addicted to vicodin”. They know better than to think id abuse it, but my little brother (age 18) rolled his eyes at me and said, “Nice! And you’ve been preaching to me all this time about pain pills!” thinks im a hipocrite (sp?) But, like i told that bratt, i had a reason for taking it; him and his wreckless friends don’t.

Something i feel silly about…i had no idea that ultram is essentially the same as morphine and is highly addictive! And im a nurse! It is a drug we never gave on our unit though, since its more for chronic pain that acute pain (i worked a surgical floor).

So, this is all making more sense now. I was on ultram briefly. Then, i found out i was pregnant so i stopped all medications. That is when i got sick. I remember asking my doc if it could be because i stopped my meds and he said, “No. It is neuromuscular”. When i was too sick to work anymore, the docs said the only thing i could take was vicodin (after going cold turkey for a week). Then, i got even worse. So, i guess it is possible that i was withdrawing from ultram at first and then the vicodin was icing on the cake.

Anyway, just wanted to update you guys. thank you sooo much for your kindness;) you are all wonderful!