Roxie-Suzanne had a very profound statement…you only get one chance to do it right. What you are going through is very stressful and you need to make sure that you have no regrets with regard to your Mom. I can only say that I went through what you are doing– last August and I hope that you get the same support we had from the place Mom was staying (it was a senior’s home with full care).
Not knowing ‘when’ is difficult but please make sure that your Mom knows how much you love her and if it isn’t painful for her she might enjoy a foot massage, or lotion on her dry skin for example. Your Mom likely sleeps a lot…don’t be afraid to nap too. And when that time comes, if you are fortunate enough to be there when she draws her last breath please tell her that you love her and to say hello to the others she is going to greet. Let her know that she gave you a happy childhood…..and talk to her for several minutes after she leaves. Hearing is the last sense to go.
None of that helps your residuals, but you said it yourself “my residuals are coming back”–that is just what they are..residuals. Remember, you were sick with GBS, you now have aftershocks and that is most likely all it is.
Wishing you all the best….I know that if you have no regrets about your Mom then you can handle it. And you will be strong enough to get through it.
You will grieve later, plenty, from time to time but you will have been there for your Mom.
May you find the strength you need.