Lisa, I definitely identify with the “Hopelessness”! I been on this very personal journey for 16 years this coming January 2011. I have continued improving since then – a lot of slow times. I had no help from the medical profession (because I was a woman who didn’t know how to live life! give her a tanquilizer!) I live inspite of them! I learned to walk again after only crawling. I persued every holistic avenue which came my way. I simply refused to believe that here was no hope. And I still refuse to believe that I won’t have other improvements to follow. Keep reaching! there is more out there for you! Hugs for you!