Good Morning Everyone!
Had to get on here before the big move takes place today. They are planning on life flighting Billy to Pensacola Baptist to get his treatment of Plasmapherisis.
First of all, the mention of neurotin. This has been mentioned many times. Especially before Billy had his back surgery. He used it then. Since, he has graduated to Mepherdine. This is how bad he was hurting. After 2 months of this is when his doctor tried to talk him into Bufferix. After entering the hospital they began giving him Neurotin again. Not even time for it to set in before the pain management Doctor sent in a so called pain management specialist who prescribed Methodone. Billy was on the Moriphine Drip at the time and he explained the differences between the Meth and the Moriphine. He explained that the neurotin would take too long where the Meth would get into his system quicker. To me the neurotin would have been safer but to get Billys pain level down we both agreed. We figured with the way this guy talked, he knew what he was talking about. Since we have found several people who have asked him to help them with pain meds and he degrades them by making them think that it is all in their heads and that they need psyciatric help.
Anyways, People ask me if I have cried yet. They don’t know how much I have cried. Having to see someone you love suffer and not know if they are going to live or die is one of the hardest things to go through. Especially when no one is making a move to help and you are looking for answers. At the same time you are thinking of what could be wrong, on the back burner of your brain, you are planning a funeral. So many emotions come into play that you feel like you are on a merry go round or roller coaster and you can’t get off. And the hardest thing to do is hide the tears.
People ask me if I have gone to church. I am not a church goer. God and I have many conversations. The night before the diagnosis I went to the Chapel in the Hospital and prayed that God would help us find the way. After the diagnosis, I went back to the Chapel and got down on my hands and knees and thanked God that we finally had an answer and that we knew what we were fighting. Since, I have been to the Chapel many times and just asked God to give me strength to help Billy through this.
My Daughter and Son In Law make sure that I eat and rest. Food doesn’t impress me but I know that I need to eat so I do. I go to bed but I don’t sleep. My mind travels all night long and I awake before the Alarm. I haven’t been to sleep this past evening because I was at the hospital waiting for results from a ct-scan on Billys lungs. There is more damage then the x-rays were showing. I have to be at the Hospital early this morning to sign anything that needs signed in order to transfer him and get him admitted to the other Hospital.
My Daughter even went as far as to call the Hospital and ask that the nurses keep an eye on me. I know she is worried.
People ask me if I work. I work for myself, and I even tried to do that one day last week. I got the job done because it is right next door here at home. But I couldn’t concentrate because I worried about how Billy was being cared for and the phone kept ringing, Billys family, asking me the same questions that I had answered each day before that. Which caused me to spend more time on the job then I wanted to.
In between all of this I try to keep things up here at home.
I honestly think that once we get Billy moved I will be able to get back on track. This hospital puts patients first and makes sure all of their needs are met. I know this from when Billy had his back surgery. So maybe tonight we will all rest alittle easier.
Well It is time to get everything together and get ready to go.
Keep us in your prayers and I will keep you all posted.
God Bless All Of You…………………………Piper