Heavy thread, indeed.
Just thought I would throw my hat in the ring…I’ll start by stating that I began picking up my short-term memory about the time I was discharged. I don’t remember alot from the hospital, mainly re-hab and working to get out is all I remember of that.
What I recall after I got home, and this is a bit tough to talk about for me, but I can recall my wife going through a living hell that I personally put her through.
Mad? Hell, I was mad. Kicking mad. Furious. My three-year-old told me that she was scared of me, looked me in the eye and stated she was SCARED of me. Furious. Mad. My wife wouldn’t talk to me. My doctors (re-hab) pleaded with me to continue my medication schedules, so that I wouldn’t become a “martyr.” Mad.
I’ll admit that I can’t imagine what my wife was thinking then – 7 months pregnant, and caring for her husband who was JUST discharged from the hospital. Just one instance I can recall is her getting up to help me with my urinal multiple times through the night, all the while she was struggling just to get comfortable being pregnant and dealing with a three year old. That was just the physical part. Lack of sleep for her, lack of reasoning, lack of anything resembling a normal marriage.
Now, for the psychological effects….I can recall yelling for no reason. I can recall telling her she had no idea what it was like. I can recall many, MANY more horrible things. Bottom line, this was an extremely tough time for both of us. We made it through with love and with God on our side. But it was tough. REAL tough.
We’re now – almost 15 months out – really doing great. I’m able to talk with her and she is always ready to listen. I have to do my part and put her and the kids first, before the GBS. Many times, with the two little ones, something needs to be done – RIGHT NOW! I had to come to the realization that I needed to start helping and pitching in. When I did that, things got better. Our marriage has grown.
Kinney, all of this started with COMMUNICATION. We couldn’t have gotten anywhere without talking to each other and TAKING TIME to talk to each other. Its the simplest thing to write down, but one of the toughest things to get down to business and do. Where the rubber meets the road, and you have to sit down and talk to one another and REALLY LISTEN to one another, its tough, but you’ll accomplish milestones. Really.
Hang in there. Judi stated it correctly. Don’t forget the reason you married in the first place.
Contracting GBS is a speedbump, definately, but keep that vehicle moving. Don’t let it stop. Shift gears, but keep her going.
If you ever need to chat one-on-one PM me anytime.