August 19, 2009 at 9:07 am

i’m very sorry your husband (and you) are suffering from cidp, or whatever the final diagnosis will be… it is a very challenging illness, to say the least. i find it threatens your core fabric of strength and stamina. something that, as i mentioned before, frightened me because i never wanted to get too comfortable with it– like an annoying friend that never leaves… or simply an old shoe, that over time, has broken in, warn down and fits perfectly… too perfectly.

i feel so resolute in my decision about seeking this aggressive treatment in chicago. oh, it will be hard, undoubtedly– i feel my courage building as the date grows near… i try to think of the many things about it that scare me– so many things– trying to get more comfortable with what i’ll face from the line in my neck to the results of high dose chemo, etc. strangely, i’m both terrified and excited… the excitement comes from knowing that i am doing the absolute most to rid myself of this old shoe. i feel violently aligned with the chemo– that it will KILL the cidp and i will endure its journey, and so on… i’ll survive it– and nothing would make me happier than to be able to post my remission, for me and for everyone who suffers from this **** sandwich.

as with anyone, always feel free to contact me. and i send you and your husband my best thoughts.

p.s. thanks for the good labor day wishes 😉