Reply To: Feeling Guilty?

February 8, 2008 at 5:51 pm

Hi Linda,
Kevin does, he always tells me it isn’t fair that I have to do so much for him and always take care of him, during infusion, making up home work etc. I always tell him I love him and it’s my job. I also tell him that if there is a time I am not able to do something for him he has to understand. He says ok. He also feels guilty that his brother has to make up for things he can’t do, that really bugs him. So far my older son Nick has been awesome, and I try to supplement to him in ohter ways for the things he has to give up.
So, I guess I am saying, from the care giver perspective, communicate to your husband that you REALLY do want him to tell you when things are getting to be too hard on him. Tell him to communicate when he has had enough. Showing that you RESPECT that he has limits too will go miles.

Now that Kevin trusts me to tell him when I can’t do something, he is a little less stressed. He now knows that he does not have to worry about drainiig me physically or mentally, because I will let him know. So when I do things, or listen it is because I love him and want to and am able to.

Since your husband has been there for you, it shows his love for you, when you love people, you WANT to help them. Unless he tells you otherwise, I wouldn’t worry about feeling guilty as long as the communication is open. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the pampering. I am sure you can think of special things to show him your appreciation. Little notes slipped in his wallet, cards, letters, cookies (store bought put on a plate of course, its the thought that counts) Those little things go miles. Smiles, hugs, those are the best things I get from Kevie!

Have a great weekend!
Dawn Kevies mom