Kids and Their Part

May 30, 2007 at 1:51 am

Hi –
The kids angle is funny. I felt *exactly* like you did when my son had to start helping me, holding onto my arm to make sure I don’t fall, “catching” me if I lose my balance, and generally doing more around the house (he is 10). You definitely sowed enough love — and your kids are obviously full of compassion as well.

I agonised over whether my son was going to be the “boy with the sick mom”, and he would be emotionally scarred having only these memories (I have had this since before he was born). But this is what I have learned.

All I can say is that you are doing the right thing by not hiding it. The more they know (and I am not talking the technical details – I hardly know them!) about how you are feeling on a particular day means that you can moderate your activity with them – e.g. are you up to a game of football outside, or will we have to watch it on TV? If they don’t know; they won’t understand why you keep saying “no” to things. Soon, it just becomes another thing in their lives; not a traumatic thing, just a “fact of life”. Keep saying that to yourself – it’s a “fact of life”.

Now Mac enjoys it equally when I come to the soccer match, OR we do homework together (well — I am sure that soccer probably wins! 😀 ). Let them ask questions when they are ready to ask them, during the quiet times, and you will all be ok. And believe me, they want to help, that is what being a family is all about.

Take care