I tend to agree with Chrissy?
While not advocating a lot of it, keep the xanax handy? Only one or two? For those nites when you MUST get some sleep to catch up on it all.
What you are going thru, and things you mite have to decide are never, ever easy. Yet we all have to make some decisions in the long run. This isn’t a ‘what-IF or IF-only’ type of choice. Like with dealing with the CIDP? Base it on as much fact and practical prognosis as possible. I hope and pray that you make the best choices given the opportunities. Now with your father? DO treat his issues as separate! They have to be separate and that only you are the one to decide? Yes, it’s a burden? But you can also choose it to be the best one… Search your soul for your choices, trust your instincts in those choices and don’t regret them.
I’ve been in similar circumstances, and they are never fun! Often they can be bizarre to surreal at times. Just keep faith in yourself, and also? Take a few minutes FOR yourself to allow you to regroup and gain needed strengths to do what you have to trudge thru. Thus, maybe xanax isn’t a BAD thing now and then? I will keep you in my heart and on my mind until you get out of this all….. You will do it because you have to! Hugs to boot!