I’m with you girl

Janie,

My name is Barb, and I too am a caregiver. My husband has been unable to work for over 5 years now. I have one piece of advise. ENJOY THE GOOD DAYS. I have learned that I can’t do it all, and if the grass gets a little to high, so what, it gives the neighbors something to talk about. My husband and I have a great marriage, and always have. We were high school sweethearts and still are. I too get mad at him when I am tired and just can’t do one more thing, but that’s when I remember all that he has done for me over the years. He diapered the kids when I was tired, cooked a special dinner, brought me flowers, ect…. All these things are special and I know in my heart that if he was still able, he would still be doing them. I do a couple of things for myself that help: I take a long bath and read each evening (I have fibromyalgia and my dr recommened this and I found that added benefit was that I get to relax and enjoy 1/2 hour of quiet). I do this no matter how late it is, this is my time. I also get up early even on the wkends and make my self a cappicino (sp). Just for me, no one else likes them, This is another moment of quiet. We have had some rough times, and trust me, your husband feels really bad that he can’t do all that you need him to do.

We try to do something on his good days. Whether it’s going to a flea market, out for breakfast, and just sit on the porch and watch the storms. These are now my special memories.

It will get easier to not do everything all the time, and he understands your hard days just as you understand his.

There is nothing harder than watching some one you love suffer and feel that you can’t help, but being there is the best thing you can do.

Take care, and know that you are not alone.