February 20, 2007 at 10:07 pm

I had Hospice come because my mom stopped eating and getting weaker and weaker. She was not in pain or uncomfortable and they accepted her into the program. Seven hours later she had a major stroke. I called Hospice and they said it would take 45 minutes for them to get there. She was in the bathroom. I could not move her as she was paralyzed on her right side. They told me NOT to call the hospital – she would come and put her back in bed. Thank God I did not listen. I called the ambulance and she went into a coma an hour later and died the next day. But had I listened to Hospice, it would have been a nightmare. I signed up for Hospice so they would know the irght thing to do, they didn’t. Just be careful. Then they wouldn’t come to the hospital even though my doctor called them and said, “This woman is all alone.” Hospice hadn’t signed a contract with that particular hospital – which was right across the street. WIsh they would have told me that. THen they delivered a shower chair for my mom even though she had hours to live. W:p Hen they knocked on the door, it scared my cockateil and he died in my arms that night – the night before she died. I know Hospice can be good, but not in my case. So maybe if you tell them that they were going to come in Tampa, Florida…they will come to be there for your mom.

A friend of 40 years had a mom in a nursing home that she visited on week-ends. The night her mom was dying, she begged my friend to come and be with her. My friend said she couldn’t. When I told her she should go, she said she didn’t want to be there when it happened!! It was only 15 minutes away. I did not judge her for doing this but I should have. WHen I got GBS she wouldn’t come to help me even though she lived 5 minutes away. I should have known that someone who couldn’t be there when her mom was dying ( the ultimate sacrifice in life) then she wouldn’t be there for me. She admitted that she was the “worst friend in the world, but couldn’t help NOW.” I am not angry…..but she is no longer a friend and IF she ever needs me, I won’t be there. Sometimes people need to know experience first hand what they did to others.

Roxie, my mom got arthritis and fluid around her heart/lungs when I had GBS the first time. It went away when I got better. Maybe your mom wants to take care of you too. Do you think you could take a nap when you visit her? WHen I took my mom to the ER, I would hop onto the bed with her to be silly and take her mom off of her being there. Do you think you could take a nap with her after work? Hold onto her like two spoons – and you could talk and bond and perhaps fall asleep?? Just an idea…….