Thank you for your replies.
I have taken the time to volunteer this week. I am beginning to feel hope about the future.
I pushed and drove myself thru my PT and OT because I wanted my “old life” back. Now that the improvements from the IVIG have seemed to stop and I no longer need weekly PT or OT, I have felt like “Is this as good as I get?”
Instead of focusing on where I came from, I tend to focus on what I still cannot accomplish. I have changed doses of meds with my doctor’s guidance.
I slept last night with only 2 pain episodes. My therapist thinks my insomnia is being caused by clinging to worry and fear of waking in pain. She says that I need to work harder at accepting my situation.
It’s like telling someone that they should be all right with this abnormal body.
Hopefully getting out of my house more will help. Thanks for the Salvation Army’s volunteer coordinators!