Best Newspaper Headlines for 2007

THE YEAR’S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2007:
>>
>> Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
>>
>> [No, really?]
>>
>> Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
>>
>> [Now that’s taking things a bit far!]
>>
>> Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
>>
>> [Not if I wipe thoroughly!]
>>
>> Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
>>
>> [What a guy!]
>>
>> Miners Refuse to Work after Death
>>
>> [No-good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-so!]
>>
>> Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
>>
>> [See if that works any better than a fair trial!]
>>
>> War Dims Hope for Peace
>>
>> [I can see where it might have that effect!]
>>
>> If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
>>
>> [You think?]
>>
>> Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
>>
>> [Who would have thought!]
>>
>> Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect
>> Homicide
>>
>> [They may be on to something!]
>>
>> Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
>>
>> [You mean there’s something stronger than duct
>> tape?]
>>
>> Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
>>
>> [he probably IS the battery charge!]
>>
>> New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
>>
>> [Weren’t they fat enough?!]
>>
>> Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas
>> in Spacecraft
>>
>> [That’s what he gets for eating those beans!]
>>
>> Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
>>
>> [Taste like chicken?]
>>
>> Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
>>
>> [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]
>>
>> Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
>>
>> [Boy, are they tall!]
>>
>> And the winner is….
>>
>> Typhoon Rips Through
>> Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
>>
>> Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn
>> to spread the stupidity
>> and send this to someone to whom you want to bring a
>> smile (Maybe even a
>> chuckle).
>> We all need a good laugh, keep laughing it will keep
>> you young….
>>