Lisa – I can relate to what you are going through. Especially, for a person who is used to being independent. Many people, family or not, wealthy or not, only think in context of themselves. I may “appoint” all mankind to be understanding, caring, and helpful, and when they are not, I get “dis-appointed”, add in maybe frustrated, confused, anxious & etc.
But Anger, is something that will not change people and did not help me get better ~ I’ve been there ~ and its just not good GBS medicine. I really had to dig deep within myself to sort out ‘my feelings’ especially that first scary and lonely year. I dis-covered I felt ‘better’ when I was doing something positive to help myself; even the smallest accomplishment helped.
It has become my habit for the past 12 years now to accomplish ‘something’ everyday. The effect it has on me personally and those around me is amazing! It was, and still is, a difficult and often lonely journey but I rebuilt myself on what I can do, not what I can’t ~ or what others thought.
I wish you well and hope you can get the help you need ~ maybe you are and just don’t know it yet ~ that’s a big ‘maybe’ but actually that’s what happened to me.
yes erin. anger is very normal for caregivers; as well as fear, frustration, anxiety, depression, etc. i remember when i was in the hospital before my second spinal tap prior to being diagnosed, i told my husband; “i wouldn’t blame you if you want to divorce me and get on with your life because you didn’t bargain for this when you married me”. he told me, “you ARE my life” and he crawled in the bed with me and just held me. my husband (caregiver) has had to feed me, bathe me, dress me and even deal with that time of the month for me. so whatever feelings you’re going through are perfectly normal and you are entitled to feel every emotion imaginable. my prayers are with you both.