Reply To: Dealing with the anger

I am one of those “fortunate people” who gain weight on antidepressants. Well before the GBS I tried them twice for severe, life-long insomnia and gained weight both times. So the NPs decided to put me on them again for insomnia*, but this time I was needing a wheelchair…not a lot of exercise to do when the legs don’t work. I ballooned up to 199# on my normal 125# frame. I tapered myself off of them and have stopped gaining, but I only have so much energy to do everything else plus work extra hard to lose…
* NP didn’t seem to like me much. When she told me about the prescription she said, “You got a problem with that?” Yes, I had a problem with her attitude. And I knew the prescription wasn’t good, but I had the severe brain fog and didn’t remember my previous experiences with the meds until it was too late.
Anyway, I’m not terribly angry about the GBS- I like to be busy, and I’ve got lots to do, so I keep learning and doing. What I am angry about is the weight gain. Extra work, effect on energy, wasting precious disability money on bigger clothes, the stupidity of it (NP told me I could stop gaining weight…as if I was trying to get fat!),… But it is my self-perception: I’ve worked so hard to recover as well as I have, but I look like I don’t care about myself because I’m big.
…but spring is nearly here and I’m another year “better” and I have good shoes…